I cant explain how I feel or how I get into this state. Over the last month I have tajen 5 impulsive overdoses (note. Not suicide attempts) when I get particularly intense feelings of sadness and despair and cannot cope. After everytime I feel stupid and promise myself that I will not do it again..but then intense feelings start and I do.
I dont know how to stop it.. and the intense feelings usually come in the evenings like tonight..my anxiety gets so strong and I feel such overwhelming sadness so much that I feel sick to my stomach.
Try to get your doctor to refer you to a councillor or for CBT this will help find the root cause.
Good luck
Hi..thanks. im already under the mh team they are looking at long term stuff but not cbt ..been there done that 😕
Hi k8861
May I ask if not a suicide attempt then what is the purpose? I'm trying to understand the mentality behind an overdose if not to cause harm.
What sort in quantity are we talking about donyou mean like two extra tablets etc what tablets are you useing sleeping pills pain killers?
I'm sorry for what you are going through... I strongly believe that a good therapist would benefit you... you need to get to the root cause, the bottom, of what it causing your emotions to over power you. I almost feel that it is some kind of guilt...but I promise you, you won't scare away a good one on one therapist!! Sometimes a change in therapist is needed. PLEASE believe (that is important) that there IS a LIGHT at the end of this tunnel... just be totally, 100% completely HONEST with your therapist...don't say what you 'think you probably should say'... I KNOW you can get better!! Take care, K.....
To get momentary relief/self harm. I have taken ssri's, and painkillers in different combinations. Not just one or two over. 20 tramadol one time, tramadol with quetiapine..another time 14 225mg effexor and then a combination of citalopram and fluoxetine.
I know it doesnt make sense. If i could explain better..i would.
No it makes perfect sense would you say you see your pain as physical pain at that moment the tablets are being used to numb that pain?
No not physical pain..emotional pain..want to numb that. But been to a and e so many times now i dont think ill go next time as nothing bad happened.. everytime i go gp and mh team are informed which is embarrassing.
Yes I can imagine it gets a little tedious. Do you do this a lot ? And it's sad you say next time almost signining yourself up for another over dose ya know what I mean?
Not usually. I havent done anything like this in a long long time. (Like maybe 15 yrs) but Ive done it 5 times in the last month.
I took an overdose ya know I did it to end it all tho so it's completely different I don't inderstand self harm how ever, I do inderstand the desperation behind the swallowing of tablets etc and the abundance of emotion you must of been feeling
Don don would be able to understand those feelings you have a lot better than i she's really lovely ya know sometimes I feel you need someone to properly understand your situation in order to help you best you could look her up ya know she's really nice as many are
I'd only be an ear to vent to I'm afraid however Im happy for you to vent to me if you need to
Thinking of you mike
I have complicated reasoning because id like to end it all but am mortified that ill end up in hell...so my only resort to harm my body
Ok now this I can shed a little light on for you I died once no hell no heaven no tunnel I was gone for a few mins hung myself at the time I was in a very dark place ya know they brought me back!!
Ok so a few years later I took 160 cocodomol again I had enough ya know how it is right I've had a liver transplant 4 weeks ago I'm still recovering ya know Would you like to know what happens when you take tablets in rather experienced in it
So here's the truth you don't fall to sleep and not wake up you actually wake the next day throw up all day then after a few days you get the most horrendous stomach pains as your liver shuts down your liver can't clean the toxins in the blood so you go a yellow colour
Then your kidneys shut down followed by your lungs struggle to breathe it leads to total and multiple organ failure your heart slows and you die weeks later you took them just as your dying you realise that the probs were not worth all the pain you've put yourself through ya know I feel sick now when I think of tablets like really nauseous ya know when you say things like I won't go again because nothing happened the truth is you don't know that yet it takes time for these things to show that's why it's so important for you to seek help
Sorry But there's no fairy tale out there it's cold ya know and your all alone it's sad that really isn't it
Know this. Thats why Ive never taken certain pills. I.e paracetamol. Yes..know theres no fairy tale.. thats the problem.
Oh my god I thought I was ill! I don't know what to say, don't demean yourself you're worth a thousand of whatever's saddened you. I used to think the same and still do but was raped twice, I had decent counselling which really helped but have to have more. Look after yourself.x
Hi
I know where you are coming from i do the same mix diazepam, alcohol, been gettng migraines lately asked the pharmacist what can I take ibrofopen or miagralieve she said no it would react with diazepam and make me too sleepy. So what does my head say that's a good idea. Went to another chemist bought 48 ibrofophen so I could mix them. Dr's too emergency appointment as had a melt down at work got a prescription for migralieve as she said it is fine. so now i have all three to mix and match with alcohol. If it goes wrong it does, I know just to escape for awhile I even slept most of last night too no dreams no nothing. Woke not refreshed but very vague blank numb and empty.
Careful with ibuprofen though..burn a hole in your stomach 😣
Also avoid anything with paracetamol..that will make you very ill, liver damage or death. I avoid such things..
Only take the recommended doses of paracetamol, and yes got told take ibuprofen with food but sometimes what the hell when I am feel like rebelling. Chuck a few sertraline in too sometimes, i know it is wrong but it does hlep numb the brain for a while.
Anyway the plan is take a mixture with alcohol then go swimming in the sea when the time is right.
You look after yourself and try not to harm yourself further. Talk to your gp, MH team.
Tina x
Ok I know it may not be the same, but I think I understand . I bite myself scratch myself and pull my hair so I don't feel emotional pain.
Since seeing a psychiatrist I've managed to stop this.