Please can someone let me know a emergency helpline number other than Samaritans.
I feel so nervous and low.
I am fast loosing social skills and have no friends to talk to.
My career is in the gutter, I am under unreal stress regarding a house move and I feel desperate. Please help. A chat is all I need. Not gonna do anything daft but feeling low!
Why don't you want to talk to the samaritans? They are there to just talk if that's all you need.
Do you have any family support? Any work colleagues you are close enough to?
Ring the samaritans, they can help
Mark
We all feel low especially with all the things you have going on. A move is massive it's bound to be stressful.
Take a day at a time pace yourself.
Please ring the samaritans why not that's what they are there for.....
I am glad to hear you won't do anything "daft"!!
Have you seen a GP at all.
Please give them a call... I have before they were very good to me.
Talk to them.
See a GP reach out.
Do you have family you could talk too??
Take care
Vicky
Mind Charity gave me a phone number to ring when in a Crisis - HOPELINE - 08000684141 when i texted them earlier in the year amid a suicidal crisis , i haven't rang the number as i have a problem with ringing people i don't know , get the shakes , etc ( anxiety attacks ) , take care x
Hi, thanks as ever for the couple of comments. This forum is really useful in tackling the lonliness I have been feeling.
I have fantastic family support - thanks for asking. Last night I took total comfort from lying by my wife's side, but come the morning I have the jitters again.
Yeah I see my GP quite regularly. She is also good, although I am trying to play things down at the moment due to the imminent mortgage situation.
I am really lacking in the friends department which is one of my big problems. Even my acquanitances are just people offering paid for services such as my laundrette or hair dresser. I struggle to differantiate between a friend and an acqunatance - probably because I have no true friends.
I feel like I dont know who I am anymore. I try so hard to relate to people and once upon a time I thought I was really good at doing so, yet lately I come across as "creepy". I struggle to connect with people, my eye contact is bad, and I dont know why I am so unlikable as a friend. it is always me "chasing up" the friendship, and if correspondence goes cold I always freak out thinking what have I done to upset people. My friend history is a catologue of failed arrangments and lost contact. I do think I am doing something wrong as, for example, a friendship with a girl at work who I was quite close to resulted in her husband getting in touch to ask what was going on with us. In reality there was nothing, but I am increasingly concerned that in my desperate quest to connect with people that I am actually allienating them.
Until recently, in my current job, I havent really been around fellow males, and now that I am I struggle to connect with them, as I dont share any of their "manly interests such as cars, football, etc.
I did ring the Samaritans who were ok, but it is friends I need. I am going to talk to my wife and father tonight, to expalin how things have gotten and I see a private counsellor on Thursday.
Any comments in the meantime to help me keep my chin up would be seriously apprecaited. Thanks so much
I understand what it's like to have few friends, I'm naturally quite shy and don't make friends easily. In the last 6 months I moved in with my partner who lives 60 miles from my friends and family which was a huge step for me but I do feel isolated when he isn't here because I don't know anyone and he doesn't have any friends which is how he likes it.
There are social groups you can join who arrange nights out, trips, that kind of thing, maybe you and or your wife could join to make new friends? At least then you will know that these people are also looking for friendship so you won't feel so conscious?
Get friendly with Google and see if there is anything local to your area.
thanks Lucy,
Sorry for the slow response. That is a good idea about social groups. I think my wife and I are missing mutual friends and I would love it if there was another couple we could spend time with. I dont know why I am so needy in this respect but I have booked a counselling session tomorrow to try and get to the bottom of it.
Yesterday was a bad day with the anxiety and paranoia. I felt sick all day and I have hardly eaten for two and a half days now. Feeling very light headed and a feeling of doom like something bad is about to happen. My poor daughter seems to know something is up too and she keeps saying she doesnt want to move house. it is a nightmare at the moment and I am just willing this situation to end.
Hi
Don't worry, we are all busy. Definitely worth looking for some social groups, you can only try these things and if they don't fit you can cross it off the list.
Are you taking any medication for your anxiety? I don't like drugs but sometimes I think you have to bite the bullet and do what is going to help. Are you just over stressed because of your imminent mortgage / house move? Stress plays a huge part in feeding anxiety so you definitely need to find some activities you can do to busy your mind but relax at the same time.
It's hard when you have kids about as you don't want them to pick up your anxieties and start to have their own issues, my daughter has had anxiety because of seeing me like it which for me is heartbreaking, another reason to control this demon.
Lucy
Thanks Lucy, our circumstances sound quite similar. Im not taking medication at the moment. Regrettably i have been over indulging with alcohol until recently to try and switch off.
The house move is a big stressor but as is dissatisfaction at work, anger at past colleauges who i blame for being in the mess i am in, and a lack of friendship and attention.
Sorry if i am having an unproductive moan but this has actually been quite theraputic for me.
Thanks again
Mark
Hey that's fine, you're allowed to have a moan, get things off your chest, make you better. Whatever works then go for it.
I hope you manage to find some peace and remember we are always here if you need to vent your frustrations or get some advice.
Lucy
Hi there Mark
I just wanted to say I hope your appointment goes well tomorrow.
It's hard to keep going when things get so tough.
You've a wife and Daughter who I'm sure love you very much and you mentioned your father. Have you talked to them yet. As you've found from talking onhere has been therapeutic for you especially lucys advice has been of benefit and others.
When you share it becomes a little easier it may be hard at first people, may not always understand
. I am sure however those who love you would not like you to feel like this and they may be able to help once they know your thoughts and feelings.
How about seeing a G.P as well.
Don't get so low you don't know what to do. ..you are doing the right thing by seeking help !!!
The answer is not at the bottom of a bottle...... I was an addict for 15 years we still have to find out why we are feeling the way we do...
Take care now
Vicky
Hi.many thanks for this post. It meant a lot when i picked it up yesterday. Sorry i am only just getting round to replying.
Yes my counselling session went vert well thanks. My counsellor suggested that the friendship issues were significant. I have to have at least another six sessions to "do some work".
She made an interesting point that really clicked with me in that 'connection' with others is important to me. I have maybe misjudged connection in a professional context (eg a dr) as a personal context in my mind, hence the confusion regarding friend, aquantance or neither.
I think my wife and i will do as a previous post suggested and look for groups to meet similarly placed individuals.
The anxiety is bad this week . Taking my daughter out on her bike was my highlight and a definite distraction.
My tinittus has flared up too which i know is linked to stress.
Thanks so much for the posts on this. It has really helped this week
hi classic nerve problem it could be agraphobia or clostraphobia or white coat sindrom its all the same NERVES i cant walk far i have a mobility scoot which helps me a lot but not for bad panic attack what relealy helps is when i get in someones car till i camb down . so i am not a good seller but a good listner so if you could ask or tell me somthing and just see what comes to mind i would be greatful tommy
You are more than welcome.
I am no expert at all its just living with it I know how you feel.
Very happy to hear your counseling went well it will take time, but it's worth it.
Glad you have the support of your wife that will help a lot. My ex husband said I was mental I yeared for him to help me he never wanted too.
Glad that you have realised some things re friendships. Looking for other couples who understand what you are going through sounds a really good idea good luck.
How lovely you've a Daughter you must get joy from watching her grow. What a wonderful distraction.
One day at a time, that's all you can do.
Here anytime
I say this to almost everyone
BE KIND TO YOURSELF.!!!
Anxiety is terrible illness that's displays so many symptoms.. have you spoken to a doctor not everyone's the same but why not have a chat about medicine. I only say that as I know when I had tablets my anxiety decrease and I was able to address my substance misuse not turn to it.
Take care.
Vicky
Thanks,
Its this paranoia about friends and worry about not hearing back from people that is really chewing me.
Yes youcere right it certainly does help to have a loving and understanding partner. I just wonder where i went so wrong in retaining friends.
It dates all the way back to school.
I even stopped emailing people as the worry about them not replying got so great!
The result now is that the only people other than family who i see regularly is in a customer context eg getting my hair cut.
It feels pretty lonley at the moment.
I guess the counselling will chip away at my worries.
Hi tommy thanks for commenting. Sorry to hear of your issues.
I dont think its agrophobia in my case. I like being outside and i like being social. I dont however like being centre of attention or talking in front of large groups. The panic i got when so doing is largely responsible for the mess my career got into.
My worries are more about retraining friends and why i am so unlikable despite trying so hard.
Hi Mark
You know i think it's true in life you may have many acquaintances. like the dr, councilors other profission also people who work in the local shops ect.( You get what I mean) but we are lucky if we a few close friend that's good.
I have to tell you I've met many people who I've mistaken for friends but they weren't.were they worth meeting in the first place ? They cause a lot of heartache along the way.
I wish you well on your question for friendship always remember there are people here that will talk to you just as you've seen! !
This sounds silly you have a best friend... your wife and with her look for other couples in you're Are maybe groups ect.
Don't be scared of rejection it comes with meeting he right people you will click with.
Take care Mike
Vicky
Thanks vicky your reply genuinely does mean a lot. It definitely my wife and parents who are the most important. I take on board what you say about does it really matter about the other people.
My short term plan is to stick with the counselling , get the house move sorted and then look for friends as a couple.
Im sure i will be back in these forums soon but feel this is a great ending for me to sign off from this discussion. Thanks so much for the kind words.