Last night, after a few drinks at our friends and on our way back to our house I started getting a little frisky and was in the mood to say the least. We got home and I proceeded to get him in the mood as well, he then shuts me down and says he doesn’t feel well... I get ready for bed, sad, hurt over the fact he does not want to be physically romantic with me... but this isn’t the first time he has shut me down with the same excuse “I don’t feel well”. It happens I would say at least once a month, which started taking a toll on me emotionally 6 months ago or so. I don’t feel sexy or wanted by him and questioned why he was with me if he didn’t want to be physical sometimes?
We have been together almost four years now, we bought a house together 7 months ago, things are as serious as can be... And last night he broke down and confessed to me that he has been lieing to me from day one. He was crying and just could not even bring himself to say it. I’m not sure why, maybe it was the fact he’s ‘joked’ about having this disease before, several times actually more than I would have liked.. but I just spat out “you have herpes”.
He broke down even more and told me he had contracted it from his ex after she cheated on him. He has out breaks about once a month or every two-three months. We have not been using protection since into the first 3 months of our relationship.
I had recently got a papsmear done prior to getting my IUD by my OBGYN as well as the blood work and urine sample and I know that I have not contracted it as of yet, which is great news but then also reminds me that I could still possibly get this as I plan to be with him for the rest of my life.
I’m in a state of shock, that’s for sure. I’m 25 and he’s 30 and part of me questions if we should just sell our house and take the ‘easy way’ to get out of this life long possibility of contracting this?
I love him unimaginably, so I’m not wanting to walk away but I’m terrified this willl change the way I perceive him and our sexual intercourse now. I’m the type of person that over thinks everything and am always a worrier when it comes to being safe (pregnancy wise) so I’m worried that this will be too big of an issue to be able to let it slide...
The thought of walking away is very very distance but it is still there, it’s been four years and buying a house, he couldn’t have told me this before the biggest purchase of someone’s lives?.....
Advice out there from people who do have history with this disease? I honestly feel so lost right now.
Much appreciated