Hi everyone.
I have a partner who had battled with anxiety for years. He has GAD and been diagnosed for 10+ years.
I wanted to ask about some of his behavioral patterns and If these are something other GAD/Anxiety sufferers also suffer from.
His pattern over the years has been as follows; he gets anxious about problem a, stresses about problem a for days/weeks/months to a point where problem a takes over everything. He can’t think of anything else than problem a.
However when problem a is solved somehow, he starts stressing about problem b, and problem b then takes over his mind/life/everything.
Is this something anyone can relate to?
When he has a problem in his life, he’s FULLY occupied by it. He can’t sleep, he can’t focus, he can’t think, he can’t relax, he’s stressed and anxious about it ALL day and EVERY day. Is that something anyone can relate to?
He is never completely content with life. There is always some kind of problem or issue that causes his unhappiness.
Certain issues that may not affect other would affect him very much. For example: In his job at the moment he sits near people who he does not get along with and has been quite bitchy with him (he sits in an office). Also he needs a work environment to be fun and with people he can CONNECT with. If he can’t connect with people around him at work, it becomes a huge problem and he gets very unhappy. Some people wouldn’t be too bothered about this but he really is, to the point that it’s all he ever talks about and thinks about.
Can anyone else relate to this?
I would really appreciate any replies. I want to be a good supporter and I’d really like to educate myself as much as I can about this.
Thank you!
Hey there,yes I can totally relate to your boyfriend behavior. He is displaying all the classic symptoms of Gad. I think sufferers can easily worry excessively. Someone who didn't suffer from this, if they had a problem they may get a bit stressed trying to work it out or sort it out but once they had, they feel content and just carry on enjoying their lives. Their anxiety is proportionate. Someone with GAD is already anxious and therfore unintentionally blow it up in their own mind. I bet you anything, that your boyfriend hates the way he feels. Have you thought about suggesting that he cha nge his meds? Seriously, I do think the excessive worry and stress can be managed with the right meds.
. Because although being a sufferer of Gad myself I was exactly the same before meds. Now I deal with better but only for the aid of medication
The way your boyfriend is right now is impacting on everything aspect of his life and very being. What a loving caring girlfriend you are! This is tough for you right? You just want a normal relationship. I think I messaged you before. As for the girls at work, they obviousky think they back and school! Immature! Tell him to rise above it. But if it continued to get nasty. He should speak to a supervisor. My advice would be to talk to him and listen to his problems, then you and he find a distraction. Go for the a walk away from anything. He may not feel like and may still be stressed but finding a distraction might take him out of himself, if only for a while. Good luck honey. I'm here so message me anytime. Donna xxx
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Hi donna23316
Thank you for your response.
We have actually communicated before and you’ve always been very helpful, thank you ♥️
Unfortunately my partner has never been on ‘proper’ medication. He was taking propranolol when he was first diagnosed. And then he was told to take it when needed. He has been to therapy for anxiety but only for specified issues such as getting over fear of flying.
He isn’t very willing to get help by medication unfortunately. I feel like he may not completely be aware that his GAD is so detrimental but it does affect him every single day. It even affects our relationship where there’s been so many times where he has had doubts about him and I. Ever since I have known him, there’s always been something he has been worried about, and when that worry is solved his brain finds something else to worry about. I feel so sad for him and I am trying my best to be a good supporter and I will continue to work at it. I love him more than anything so I am willing to do what it takes to educate myself.
It does get hard times and I do get upset. His anxiety affects him and I at times and I feel like he is being really distant. For example, when he is stressed and anxious he won’t ever ask about me/my day/my life. He will talk about himself and his worries, but it’s like he forgets that I get stressed too, or maybe I’ve had a stressful day and need to vent. Is this something that is common too? I know he doesn’t do it purposely at all, but I’m only human and sometimes it does hurt.
I am the only person he trusts to speak about his fears to that extent and I will always be there for him regardless of what.
Thank you again for your reply, it really gives me comfort that kind people like yourself can relate and silence my worries xx
Hey honey, you're welcome. I really feel you you because it's almost as though you are the only one in this relationship. And of course it's upsetting. I've actually been in your shoes whereby my husband, going back 9 year was clinically depressed, emotionally distance, acting angry and not the man I married. We went to the doctor many times but the gp was more concerned about some physical problems, high blood pressure and other stuff. So it was never. It was a horrendous time and totally unbearable for me and my kids. We split up for a year and a half but he eventually got help and your right meds. When he was unwell, I would tell him his behavior was totally out of order and he'd say"i not me, it's you! He would not accept he was unwell. I can honestly say it was the worst, loneliest time in my entire life. So hard to cope with, with no support from anyone! This is the first time I've ever written this and believe me I've only skimmed the surface. It whether you can cope with it honey x Donna xxx