In real life we have not told many people that my wife has to operate on both eyes but the few we have told, their initial and delayed reactions have been truly eye opening... People that we have gone out of our way to help in their times of need have shown 0 empathy. A simple "how are you feeling", "everything will be ok" would have been enough. Instead for some reason they think we are interested in their temporary sore muscle related moans while they completely ignore my wife's eye issue. I feel like saying something to them but my wife says forget it, learn and move on. There have been couple of kind exceptions from people who are mere acquaintances. Anyway just needed to vent!!!!
that might be because cataract is the most common condition. and they don't truly understand how unsettling it is for folks with early onset and no loss of accomodation.
One even said that if she goes blind they will buy a dog for her and then all will be ok!!!
Wow...hard to believe someone could be so insensitive. In the senior population, it seems so many have had the surgery and they regard it as no big deal. Even at 66, I felt I was young as many are in their 70s when they have cataract surgery. I can only imagine what it is like for your wife, having to make a decision that will impact her vision for the next half of her life. I love how you care so much to research on her behalf. Whatever route she chooses to take, I wish her a great outcome.
Thank you very much for your kind words.
She is my world so this is the least I can do. She is doing her research too.
I am just back home from a holiday in UK. Weeding through the threads to catch up and sent you a couple of messages without reading this one first. Perhaps those responses are timely.
It is lonely going through this. Even with friends and family there is only so much discussion they can entertain - why forums like these are important and fill a need as we all are in various stages of cataracts - the gift that keeps on giving as I like to say. Even with a good result there is PCO for many of us down the line or other complications.
Perhaps to be kind your close friends may not know what to say. As you said - even I am sorry would suffice but perhaps they think it may be too trite. If your wife can also come on forums she'll find sympathetic ears here.
Very true soks till they experience it themselves. Also world we live in with a la k if conversation skills with everyone on their phones nowadays.
My wife is here reading all posts :-)
I know what you mean about people not knowing what to say but I am not talking about such stuff.
One message would be enough. Instead we have people who are writing about their temporary muscle aches etc.
Why do they think we care about that when they don't care about our much bigger life changing issues?
Plus these are people who we have gone out of our way to be supportive in their time of need. Their issues were not even big!
It is time for spring clean and to wash our hands of such people. It is better to have no friends than lot of fake ones. That is my way of living and thinking anyway :-)
It feels like a lonely journey at times, people don't really understand the emotional strain unexpected health issues create. We are fortunate to have this forum where we can share our journey with people going through similar things.When I had my vitrectomy I was an emotional basket case. I had always thought of myself as a badass, but heck no that was not me, not when my vision was in danger. Just know that we here support you. Your wife is going to be ok...
And remember, faults and all, you and especially your wife need friends and family who most likely care more than they can express.
PCO sucks and noone has really done any long term studies on the incidence of PCO after 10-20-30 years. Young people getting PCO treated are at risk of retina detachment. I wonder if it stops though. My mother did not get her other eye even looked at after she lost her one eye after YAG (surgery at 41, YAG at 48, RD at 48). I tested her good eye yesterday and her correct visual acuity is 20/40 (surgery at 48). so it may have stopped at some point, it has been 25 years since surgery on the second eye.
I admit to being frightened of YAG and will likely hold off. The studies are very skewed as it appears mostly done on older people for whom PCO never really experienced. I read one study that if one lives 10 20 30 years (in other words long enough) everyone gets PCO not the 15% mentioned to you at time of surgery. A lot to be concerned about when you are a young cataract patient.
I learned a long time ago to chose friends wisely and I'd rather have fewer true ones than 5 times in fake ones. Most today are so isl media friends who really couldn't be bothered to go out of their way for anyone. Just a system of likes that seem to hold value to those who bother to count them.
I believe it is 40% at 7 years. The longer the wait the more the vitreous has drained so lesser is the pressure on the retina after YAG.
I know you mean well but reality is not always so.
I think the same way.
So you are saying it's better to wait before doing anything about PCO? Longer the better? At the moment not inclined to do anything.
it is a double edged sword. if you wait too long and the PCO increases significantly then you risk floaters after the YaG. but in general if PcO is mild then one should wait.
Jeez this is all such a mind breaker!!!
Interesting, I am almost certain to have pco, it is high risk when you are born with cataracts like me, so I would say I expect pco.
But the pressure - does it hold the retina in place, or does it push the retina off?
I have had laser surgery done about ten years ago, where the doctor made a simpel pressure relief hole in both eyes because she was affraid I could develop too high pressure. I have never had problems of this kind, but it was just to be on the safe side she wanted to do this, the cataract often tend to make less room around the lens, and it is normal that it can cause high pressure, that reduce again with the lens exchange.