Hi littleannie,
I'm Jinny 🐭
I just wanted to share a few things with you ; I hope you are open to suggestions... ???
It's amazing how quickly things can escalate in one's life without you even noticing, especially when you are not busy or, should I say not focused. The older you get, the more that impacts on your life !
You have not said what your situation is at present or your condition/illness so I may be barking up the wrong tree.
However, if you made the decision to go to CBT then you deserve to pat yourself on the back as it was YOUR decision. Some people don't even get that far because it may be too daunting with a stranger. So, well done.
Somehow Mum's have this need to worry about their children but don't quite know how to handle it always especially if they don't understand. Knowledge is an amazing help in beginning to come to grips with illnesses. Although some would argue 'little knowledge' is dangerous !!
Try to look for a way to arm your Mum with knowledge so she can begin to understand maybe.
I am sure, right now, you are feeling pretty wretched; feelings most of us experience to one degree or another at some time in life when the odds are against us.. 💞... all I can say to you is look for the positives . They are there but sometimes we can't spot them in amongst the rubbish that continues to harass us....you can find them just keep trying.
I don't want to sound patronising in any way but when you are in a thunder storm it's hard to step outside of it to see the beautiful clouds that form. 🐭
You are not a burden...those are your thoughts passing through your head like clouds through the sky. They will pass and you must not invite them back...think little, think simple and be kind to yourself. I practice it every day and eventually you rewire your brain; change a habit, I guess.
I think we all fear death so you are normal !!!
We just have so many other things to engage in, it doesn't enter our thoughts too often...thank goodness.
You sound like one very normal, thoughtful person who is sensitive, caring and looking for solutions to the challenges in your life. My two children are exactly that too....it's a huge learning curve that you can embrace and eventually seek happiness if you want to.
If you are already seeking help and support through your Doctor or support group, you have taken the hardest step.
Try to put yourself in your Mum's shoes. She us worried, she may not be in control and so will feel anxious just as you are!! Arm yourself with skills to help your Mum understand. CBT will assist you with that, I am certain.
As for me;
do I have unsympathetic people in my life ?
No but only because my close and extended family are aware of my condition and have seen others go through the same things/experiences, and watched the success and steep curve I have had to climb.
Some people in my life still don't understand my condition partly because you have to experience
it and partly because I don't want to share too much.
The one important decision I have made is look into myself and my beliefs, my opinions and repetitive thoughts and try to be objective about them.
I do not criticise myself but instead keep life simple, look for the positives constantly and it has taught me to find peace from within.
I wish you well Littleannie and hope you can find a way to move forward in your life. If I could reach out and hold your hand or give you a hug ....I would....❤️
Help Mum to understand. She loves you. x