For years i had heard that my 30s and 40s were supposed to be the best time of a womans life! She is supposed to be in her "prime" and enjoying the years (tears more like it) of her life when typically kids are supposed to be leaving home and what not, not to mention she is supposed to be feeling her sexiest....um i dont think so! My 20s i felt my absolute best! I had tons of energy, had a healthy appetite and I literally glowed without having to be pregnant (although i did have two of my kids during this time) and mt sex life was amazingly wonderful....had i known all if this i would have savored that decade for every second that i could but no i had to listen to some women i knew and movies stating "wait till you hit your 30s its a wonderful time!" So...i was excited....until i hit the age of 32 and something horrible began to happen...it began with one symptom, then 4, then 50....now im 41 and i dont recognize the woman staring back at me! I have no sex drive....hell i try to have sex to please my husband and oh my gosh is it so painful even with lubrication, i feel like puking 23.5 hours of every day, my hair is brittle & frizzy, im skin & bones, i feel like a furnace is inside me one minute then the next im chilled to the core, im anxious more times than not....and energy...what is that??? I havent had energy since flip phones were big! I feel screwed out of this "beautiful sexy" time of a womans life! What in the world did i do that was so horrible that im cursed with the worst side of perimenopause that i never ever heard about, i ask myself! Lets face it ladies, perimenopause is a crock and there is nothing beautiful or natural feeling about this time in a womans life..i want a damn do over.....whos with me!!
Yes Sister I am with you! I am 42 and feel much much older. My sex drive used to be out of this world now much like you its very uncomfortable. Mine started at 37 after the birth of my last child. I was hit with worst anxiety i had ever had. As well my late 20s were my best years. I had so much energy I was attractive my hair was shiney not greasy and brittle. I was always a very petite women I am 5ft exactly and weighed about 110lbs but now I've put on weight and gained about 15lbs which isn't much but for me its in my belly and butt and I'm not happy. So to answer your question yes i do and now I just try to do my best. xoxo big hugs to
OH i hear you...even tho i feel nauseous all the time i still have yucky flabby thighs, arms & lower belly....and dont even get me started in the cellulite lol!
Yup, mine started when I was about 34! I am speachless. I too hoped to still look and feel decent but... oh well! I am sorry you feel like that. :(
I am SOOOO with you! I've heard 40 is the new 30. NOPE. In my 30s I was a size 4/6, beautiful hair, could fall asleep no problem, do yoga etc. Then somewhere in my middish 40s it all went to hell. Started with terrible sleep anxiety and my PTSD which had been in remission returned with a vengeance. No help that I was single and at a terrible job. All the dumb docs I saw didn't help and one told me to switch from a normal BC to the mini pill which somewhat helped the sleep but then led to a host of other horrors. Even more out of whack, my hormones caused a ruptured ovarian cyst (excruciating pain for months, right when I had to leave my job), then a 4cm fibroid that wasn't bothering me ballooned to like 11cm or who knows what now (gives me terrible back pain). Looking into surgery. Anxiety still awful to the point of dissociative amnesia where I've fallen and hurt myself. Then a dumb naturopath gave me progesterone (and charged me 260 for the visit) which made the fibroid grow and me put on like 20 pounds in 2 weeks! Now I'm hugely fat esp around the middle, boobs and have been starving myself and working out to no avail. It's like I have no control over my body anymore and it's not mine. Tons of cellulite. And the latest, hair is shedding in clumps for months now! And so dry and brittle I'm afraid to wash or comb it and def terrified to go to a hairdresser. AND I don't even have a husband. Who wants this not-sexy, insane mess? And tho I have a new job, it's still stressful and not sure how stable (startup) and have no 401/retirement etc. And I do also know others my age that are obese, don't eat well or exercise like I do and are just dandy. So I hear you. I'm actually trying to pull together some research for an article on this perimenopause thing no one warned me about IF I have the energy as already working 2 jobs and trying to write fiction. I thought things weren't supposed to go to hell until I hit at least 50!!! My mom didn't go through menopause until her late 50s!!!! Tho my dad's family has crap genes all around. And the fact that doctors have no clue (women or men) is both hilarious and heartbreaking.
I would settle for being 33 again. That's the last age I can remember ever wanting sex more than 1x a month AND still having my hair lol. I was a few pounds heavier which I would take if it meant I enjoyed eating and socializing again! It all really went downhill within a month after turning 40, the digestive issues, lack of libido, hair loss all over my house and shower drain, new PMS, etc. It's unbelievable. And then add it the random weird stuff like ear ringing, constant left trap/neck pain, sore mouth/tongue...wtf?
Hell I would settle for 39 at this point. :)
Yes i get the ear ringing, the burning mouth even taste loss!! This is awful! Like you mine went full on intense after i hit the age of 40. I honestly thought i have cancer cause how can hormones cause so much hell!
Oh goodness, you are having a bad time!! Im sorry to hear it, im sorry any of us have to go through this! Its like only certain ladies are really having to pay for Eve eating that damn apple. I wish i had been born a man, which is sad cause i used to love being a woman...even with the periods and childbirth stuff but this crap....this us never ending! And the scary part is you never know when it will end, if it ever does. Ive seen some women write on here that even 6 years after menopause is over they are still sick and have other symptoms! I cant live like this forever! :(
Mam ur right me too never think in my dreams that peri will be that much horrible..My aunts and some elder friends donot have horrible symptoms...never heard they r not feel good..just few headaches ....i heard only when periods stops woman face some problems thats too in 50 ..never had idea Peri is like this ..who change my full life..left my Proff Job..home bound. ur right me too think my 20 best time completed studies joined job got married then i thought 30 will be relaxed and i will travel and explore word fulfill my dreams... but at my late 30 my peri start..and its still going.... Facing sooo many symptoms ..off balance and dizziness issues r scary ..i left my job..home bound . Hoping for better days Hugs
I know, sometimes I STILL think I have a major systemic issue despite so many Dr. visits the last few years. I don't know anyone else dealing with this in the early 40s and every Dr. acts like you are crazy lol. Unfortunately, I am now contemplating getting bangs, the thinning at the front of my head is bad now. My hair is very dark but getting gray, between the grays and the thinning there's too much white scalp to look at lol.
Im housebound too....i just feel so terrible every day all day....just like today my whole mid section feels jittery, im afraid to eat cause it feels queasy and just not right. There is no way i could ever work having this crap! I cant even go to get my groceries, eye exam....my drivers license needs to be updated but i live 30 mins from any town so just driving there sends me into a tailspin panic, i will feel even more nauseous and dizzy...this is awful! all of my aunts and my grandma, my mom and my sister are all chubby and dont know what im talking about when i say how sick and awful i feel!
amen sister. a do over. mine started at 43 and I am 47 now. i have experienced so many of the awful symptoms and each year brings new ones and brings the anxiety and worries along with them. i have the dreaded boob squish on monday. i prob wont eat for a few days bc i will be so stressed. it doesn't matter if its routine blood work, a blood pressure check or what...i always think I'm dying of something terrible. The mental/psychological part of all this is way worse than any physical symptoms for me.
yessss sakura. what you said about other ladies that don't have all this crazy stuff and they aren't doing anything special. or what works for them doesn't work for us. some days all i can do is breathe....just breathe
I hear you on the docs. I had a female OBGYN tell me my biggest prob was that I was just too anxious, all while my progesterone was crazy low, hair shedding, giant fibroid ... yeah it's all in my head lady. She also told me when she hits menopause she's just having a hysterectomy to avoid dealing with anything. WTF? Organs are not things you just toss out if you aren't having real issue. Way to value women and their bodies.
I actually thought about a hysterectomy to be honest. My cycle changed to 21 days almost 3 years ago and the up and down hormones each month are killing me. It's so hard to function and be around people most days, I feel so bad for my husband. We have no kids, are financially okay and should be enjoying life and each other. I wish I could pause our relationship for a few years, hole up with books and cats by myself while I deal with this then return to society later :)
What really scares me is the post women that are still having issues....
I feel so lonely too but then like you say, I don't even want to go out in public. Just want to hole up and sleep. And I need to meet someone. And now just found out I cracked a crown and may need an implant which are crazy ass expensive. And closest dental school is 3 hours away in LA. :(
Sorry to hear that, I had an implant several years ago and it is expensive. It sucks to spend so much on something you get no enjoyment out of.
Yes expensive and not sure I can afford it and it's a chewing tooth :( Not a tooth I can just pull. In horrible pain now. I have an appt with a surgeon next week but think it has gotten infected again.
Btw, I know a lot of you ladies mentioned hair shedding. Am I the only one where it's like my hair is sticking together in huge knots and it's the knots that end up coming out in clumps. It's not just lose hair shedding. It's the weird dryness and clumping and knotting that I've never had before. I haven't changed my hair style or products when it started. Tho now I'm trying a hair growth shampoo. Has been a month and still no change. :(
Yes!! I compare my hair to cotton candy on a stick!! its awful, its no longer shiny or healthy looking its become dry, frizzy and course...when i get out if the bath the hair leftover could make a cat! And i have to clean my brush daily now!