Hello,
I'm an 18 year old girl with generalised anxiety disorder and OCD, which mostly manifests as a fear of dying or going 'crazy' - a lot of my obsessions recently have been to do with mental illness. After finishing my exams three weeks ago I began to experience feelings of very low mood and depressive symptoms, but this coincided exactly with being hormonal so at the time I put it down to that.
However, my OCD latched on to it of course and I became terrified that I was becoming clinically depressed (I've gone through periods of feeling depressed before but it has always passed with time, I think it was situational). The specific feeling I've been experiencing is heartache, like an emotional pain centred in the chest, and general low mood and bleak thoughts (although it is for the most part a physical sensation rather than a frame of mind if that makes sense).
Now I am no longer hormonal, the mood has persisted although I have had better days than others and haven't felt constantly awful. When I've been truly distracted I have felt better. It is really distressing me and something that I think about all day. The low feelings themselves are also anxious feelings; I will feel very low and very anxious at the same time. Depression is one of my worst, worst, worst fears!! In particular the prospect of not wanting to live anymore. For a time as a child I had intrusive thoughts about this and the same concern has now resurfaced.
What I'm wondering is if its possible that I'm simply perpetuating a normal period of lowness (bought by hormones/life/whatever) with anxious and obsessive thoughts. Has anyone experienced something similar, or can reassure me that what I'm experiencing is in fact anxiety and not depression? Is it possible to feel depressed without being clinically depressed? (By the way, the low feelings themselves have lasted for approximately two weeks, maybe a bit less - which adds to my fears!)
Thank you x