Ok so here i am yet again up at 4am, shattered & just needing sleep, but can i sleep can i hell. This has been going on since Nov 2013.
This is just awful & don't know how much more i can take 
.
The doctor put me on sertraline Nov 2013 for depression & terrible anxiety, i was at max strenght 200mg with no feeling of being any better so came off them. Stupidly.
I have been off sertraline cold turkey for nearly 4 weeks now & feel terrible & now know they were actually doing some good( only a smidge, but still a little good). As now i feel so so low( depressed more than ever) no patience & just smashing my apartment up in rage as i just cant cope anymore, can't sleep or switch off, cannot stop crying & do not want to leave the house. Everything is just black & hate everything. I'm actually worried for myself as i have never felt this bad & not sure what i may be capible of.
I now know i need to be on some form of antidepressant, but have no idea which one will help me, as i have tried a few in the past. Sertraline, prozac, citalipram with no success.
Please can anyone help advise me on what meds they have tried with any sucess/ advice. I really would appreciate it. I just don't know what to do anymore, i feel like i am cracking up. I have pushed everyone away ( and i mean everyone & now nobody has any patience with me anymore)& i will not even answer the phone or door to anyone.
Please help if you can & thanks for you're time.
Butterfly
Hi butterfly,
From what you say it sounds like you have stopped taking your meds with no gradual reduce and this may be why you are feeling particularly desperate right now. Please please go and see your doctor ASAP
I have been on antidepressants for 16 years- SSRI'S , Trycyclics and MAOI's and it is frustrating but can take a long time to find the best one for you. I wish I could say the one I'm on now will work for you but with these meds you can't give recommendations, I do recommend a consultation with a mental health professional- they know they're stuff and will take your symptoms into their review of yourself and will give the prescription based on your needs.
There will be something that will help with the dark feelings- you have to put your trust in a professional YOU trust and give it a good trial period, don't do cold turkey/ it makes your desperate feelings intensify
I don't know if this had been any help but I hope so
Xxx
Sorry Butterfly I have just reread my reply and thought it was not very helpful at all,
What I meant was that out of all the different meds I've been on I couldn't recommend one to you because I have never known why some things have worked for me and some things haven't, it seems to be trial and error.
If the dark feelings are taking over get an emergency appointment with your GP/ emergency practitioner, don't wait, they can treat the short term situation to hopefully make you feel a little better, while reviewing what would help you in long term
Xxx
Butterfly, I have been through countless number of SSRi anti-depressants. None of them work. They just make me feel worse. I am now taking valium which is similar to zanax and kilonopin. I am feeling wonderful now. Doctors don't want to prescribe them probably because they're addictive. But I'd rather be addicted than to feel the way those SSRI make me feel. They are actually worse and you still have to wein yourself off of them just as you would with benzo's so what the hell is the difference except one makes you feel better. So good luck.
Apologies to but in/ have you tried any if the older AD's? Trycyclics or MAOI'S ? They may suit you better than SSRI's? X
Yes butter, I have tried them all (elevil) etc. no help. Have you tried them?
Yeh was on Moclobemide then amitryptolene then SSRI again. Wish you well x
Thanks, I wish you well too and good luck.
Hi
I'm not a professional but sounds like you need an emergency appointment to see someone.
I toolk Seroxate for 24 years, I tried coming off on my own it was like trying to come off crack cocaine, I lost a stone in a week, shook all over and looked and felt like crap. I finally managed to get off Seroxat and no longer have agorapobia or anxiety attacks so it is possible.
What meds suit one person don't suit another, it is a case of trying and persevering.
Take care. Jackie
I do not sleep well either. It makes me more depredded & just sick.
I went to a new doc. Working with me to find meds that help. So far no luck.
put on happy music... I play Coldplay the song when i was king.. Slowly get me out of that sinking feeling.. Also i plug in to talk radio... It makes me concentrate then i dont thinc myself into a tizzy. I fall asleep and the timer turs off the radio. It blocks the self talk . Sometimes it can get to mean.. Radio blocks it & so does happy music!
i hope u see ur doc soon for u sound like u can use a new rx for anti depressants. The hormones from them or lack of the hormone now can cause this to happen. Always slowly go off meds with a doc supervision. Reach out now dont let urself slip any deeper. U must take responsibility be ur own best advocate.
keep me posted. Hope u feel better soon.
Where there is breath there is LIFE,life is a GIFT.
Peace, Luv, & Laughter
Hello Everyone,
Can i just say thank you so much to everyone that replied & tried to help me this morning, i really do appreciate it.
I have an appointment on Tuesday, but with yet another different doctor & just that alone gets me worked up and stressed. It's like starting all over again everytime i go & each one says different. So god know's how it will go
Your welcome, people are here to help.
Thats great news, at least you've got the corage to go and get sorted. All the best.
We have all been there and understand all to well UR anxiety.
i started keeping a journal to document my pain what happens how I cope then just hand a copy over with copy of records from other docs. I always ask for copies of my records.
I will say that it took 10 years and 14 drs to figure out I had gallstones at 27 yrs old. Since then had a few others like that. I hope u have success with UR appoint. Drs work for u they must earn UR trust.
keep in touch & let us know how u r doing.
healing prayers sent UR way.
Peace, luv & Laughter.
Thanks very much for all you're support.
I will let you all know how i get on. x
Hi, you sound a lot like how I was a few months ago. I was so irritable, just the tapping of someone's heels walking around the house would do my head in! My sleep was awful too, on occasions I would still be awake at 7am having not slept at all. All this on top of already feeling desperately low and highly anxious, like that isn't enough to deal with already! I was prescribed citalopram first and it was doing nothing for me, so in January my doctor changed me to mirtazapine and I've been taking it about 5 months now, 30mg a night. It is supposed to be a particular good antidepressant for people with insomnia as it has a sedating effect and is taken before going to bed. It has helped me so much. Not all meds suit everyone though, but you should give something else another try and hopefully you will find something that works for you. Also, if you haven't already tried counselling see if your doctor will refer you for that too. Best wishes!
Hello Sunset,
Thanks you for your message. How are you getting on with Mirtazapine & do you have any side effects at all? Only reason i ask is last time i went to the docs they did mention this drug if sertraline had no effect on max strength.
I had some cbt & meant to be waiting on as more intense course, whatever this is.
I can totally relate to being so irratable & have no patience at all & jusrt seem to throw things & let them break. I feel absolutley crazy & it's just awful
Hi Butterfly, yeah I would say I am getting on really well with mirtazapine. I don't really have any side effects now. They did make me feel quite sleepy almost all of the time for quite a few weeks in the beginning, and they increased my appetite in the for the first few months, but this all seems to have settled now. I was happy to put up with all of that to get myself feeling well. The first few weeks I was quite up and down with anxiety and my moods, but I was like that anyway before starting the medication, so not certain it was a side effect of the medication. I'm so much calmer now, more relaxed about everything and settled.
That's good to hear i am glad they are working for you. It's nice to hear some positive on this site & hear someone is getting better.
I have just been to the doctors & he has started me on venlafaxine 75mg so i really have my fingers crossed that this will work as i cant take much more x
Ah that's good to hear you have seen your doctor, hope you start feeling better soon 
What u wrote sounds all to familiar. Very good description on how life can get with no sleep for long periods.
Congrats on staying with the dr and seach for what helps u.
Great job helping others too! I will ask my dr about mertzaprizine .
Thanks for sharing.
hope u r doing better