I started a part time job a few weeks ago (I've only done two days so far) it's my first ever proper job as I've suffered from problems with my mental health for a while so it took ages to work up the confidence and nerve to start applying and on my first day I told her about a weekend away I had planed she didn't seem pleased but let it slide but then I saw where she puts up our shifts she had me down on a day I was gone so o said to her about swapping to an earlier shift (but the same day) but she wasn't having it this made things difficult because I had a flight to catch but I didn't mention that because i was to scared and overwhelmed so i went home and told my parents but they refused to let me cancel my trip so my mum went in the next day and said I wouldn't be in because I had a flight and I had it booked before I got the job she was really cheeky to my mum and said she would be having a talk with me when I was next in so I have to go in in two days and I'm terrified I don't even really want the job I want to quit but my mum wants me to go in what should i do? I'm constantly on the verge of tears I know it's the cowards way out but I don't think I can go in.... please give me some advice
Hi Hannah
I suggest you take your mum to the meeting. At the end of the day she should honour your trip as you had this booked before you started this job. Did you mention this at the interview or did she even ask?
Look lovey, if you are not happy in this job there is no harm in looking for another one but if you can, try and stick it out as long as you can. Don't leave right away because you will be running away from your trigger and to fight through your anxiety you have to persevere.
Anxiety is triggered by fear and you being scared of your boss you're going to trigger that panic. Go in with a smile, hold your head up high and be proud that you have made another day through your Anxiety.
Anxiety is a hard one to control as it's your bodies defense shielding you from harm but try mindfullness on your lunch break - there are apps available to meditate to but make sure you have headphones!
Let me know if you need any more advice - I'm new to the anxiety scene so I'm battling it too
Keep smiling
Firstly thank you for replying it means a lot and secondly I sadly can't bring my mum to the meeting as it's going to be at the start of my shift, I've been thinking maybe I should go in and face her but I'm so scared about what people will be saying behind my back, like she's probably been telling some of the others about it, I know I shouldn't be such a coward but it almost feels impossible to face the problem I just feel like everyone is laughing at me behind my back
But anyways hope you're doing fine and thanks again x
Oh that's ok sweetie.
In that case, go in and face her. Once you have conquered that fear it will make you feel 10 times better and you can then give yourself a good old pat on the back. Remember - HR are there for you too so if she discrimates you in any way you call them and ask for advice.
For what it is worth, I have been in a worthless job where the people have been really cruel to me so much so that they got me redundant when the company were making people redundant - all because I didn't fit in! But do you know what I did everyday I went there, I put my head down and got on with the job no matter what the b*****es were saying behind my back and kept saying to myself, "it's paying the bills". It's tough but trust me you can do it until you find somewhere else.
Oh don't worry about me, I have my good days and my bad days like everyone. My therapist and me decided that this is the new normal and me rebooted 1.0 . It's taken me a while to get stronger and fight the anxiety but you'll be ok. x
I think I've made my mind up, I'm going to go in and face her like you said see what she has to say at least I may be scared but maybe you're right and I'll feel better having confronted the problem! Thanks for helping me see that wish me luck 😊
Good luck! Let me know how you get on x
Well I did it!! And you where right I feel so much better having gone in turns out she was pretty chill about the whole thing, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have gone in if I hadn't gotten your advice so thanks for helping me see that I almost feel silly having worried so much haha x
That is great news! Well done you!
Glad you managed to sort it all out with her and I'm happy my advice helped too 😁. Don't feel silly about it though, anxiety is nothing to feel silly about as it comes in many forms.
Keep at it girl and if you need to chat anytime then just get in touch x
I sure will and same goes to you I hope I'll be able to give you some helpful advice anytime you need it ! x