please help

Mental health
1

hi every1

just been reading some of the posts on here and i know im not alone,ive suffered from depression 4 many years,about 2 weeks ago i felt really suicidal and the only thing that stopped me was thinking of my kids,i wanna tell my doctor how i feel but i feel embarrassed about it and im also scared in case she thinks im loopy,i never want 2 go out i have no friends due 2 the way i am,i also hate being around people and i find it really hard 2 cope with everyday life,has anyone got any advice please?

thanks

2

Hi sad girl

I'm so sorry that you are suffering so much, but I can assure you that many people who contact this forum will understand exactly how you feel and I promise you, that you will soon be receiving advice and support from fellow sufferers. It is very brave of you to make contact - you must feel so alone and isolated at the moment so by joining this forum you really have taken a big step forward.

Don't be afraid to seek help from your GP - that is exactly what they are there for - people have a far greater understanding of depression these days and it is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. For some reason chemical imbalances in the brain can cause these awful feelings, over which none of us have any control and there are many ways in which you can receive help. Your GP will certainly not think you are 'loopy' - far from it. But for the sake of yourself and your children, whom you love dearly, you must seek some sort of help very soon. Don't be afraid. Maybe pick up the phone and talk to The Samaritans - they will listen and give you helpful advice. It will be completely confidential and may just help you make the first step to find help for something which is not your fault, but beyond your control.

Take care and I promise you, others on this forum will help and talk you through this. Katie x

3

Hi sad girl, what ages are your children?

love my gals to bits..but, yes selfishly Ive wished to throw myself in front off a fast moving vehicle, or put my head in a pollt bag. Its not a good way too feel. Sometimes they drive me mental, but when they are not around, so low/ Listen , to me, your GP , gets paid a fortune for what they do, and you should not feel like, you will be judged. You are doing the right thing. hey hun, think of it this way, its hapenned as you are a clever and intelligent human being. The fact that you think you are mad, is not, if you were mad you would not think that at all, you would not recognise your symtoms, so therefore, yes, you may have a problem , with kiving, but you aint mad, You are you , and you are you , doing the righ tttthing, Dont know if i make snse, bt I know what I am trying to say. You are and will be okay someday, dont giv eup, Katy

4

Hi Sad Girl, Katie & Katy lol

First off - Sad girl - speak with your GP! End of - no questions about it! I too have suffered depression on and off since my teens and I am now 45!

I can go from isolating myself completely to wanting to be out in the big bad world letting everyone know I exist.

I have never hidden or been ashamed of my illness as like all illnesses it happens!

In fact the more open you are about it the better it is as people (friends, true friends) will see beyond the illness and be very supportive of you.

It isn't people noty wanting to be friends with you - it is you being too scared to make friends and be open with them.

There isn;t a day that goes by that I don't think about how I will end it all - I know at the end of the day I wouldn't even tempt it :oops: but I do think about it never the less.

Depression is a mixture of feelings and emotions - people who say they feel depressed one day because something went wrong haven't got a clue about true depression and need educatiing - we are the best people to educate them!

Take a hold of this terrible illness by the horns Sad Girl and turn it around into something positive. Show people what depression is! Scream and shout about it! Don't sit back and ever ever think people will see you as mad!

To suffer depression you need to be a caring and loving person - someone who cares so much about things that feelings can be taken over by this demon.

Be proud of the fact that you are who you are.

Never ever let the demon destroy you to thepoint of ending it all - be strong - fight the damn illness but be proud that you care enough about the people and things around you - be proud that yoiur emotions are so real and so close to your heart that they can become over whelming and almost destructive towards yourself.

Then stop - go beyond the illness and see you for who you really are and be proud of yourself. Look at those around you and have pity on them. Yes, pity! How can anyone ever get through life unaffected by daily circumstances?

If they do, are they human? Are they normal?

You have so much to offer not only your family and friends but many other people too. You have already started helpingpeople by posting here of your feelings.

Please keep posting - as it will help you and help others understand they are not alone with this demon.

Sad Girl, as Katie said - you have made the biggest step by posting here - don't stop now - pour it all out here - trust me - you are amongst people who suffer as you suffer. Let it all out. We don't have a cure but by sharing our feelings here and posting our most inner fears and feelings we are releasing them and escaping them.

Go and see your GP - he/she willnot see you as mad. They might see you as mad if you dn't go and get help - that happened to me onceand I ended up being sectioned. This time I went straight to my GP - okay,I ended up on the sick for 3months but now I'm back at work (being phased back) and everone is being so supportive. Why? Because I was big enough to stand up and say 'hey, I'm not feeling too good and need some help here'.

I get so angry when I read of people still having these huge hiccups about suffering depression ------- It's a bloomin' illness like any other illness and has been proved to be so.

Stand tall Sad Girl - you are not mad - ill but not mad!

Finally, GP';s do not get paid half as much as they should! They chose the profession because they care about others and most defintely didn't see any £ signs flashing before their eyes. Trust your GP and you will get the best help there is.

Come Monday evening I would love to see a post from you Sad Girl stating that you have been to see your GP and are finally get the help you so much deserve.

God bless you

love 'n' hugs

Melbi xxx

5

Melbi, call me over sensitive, if you please, but were/was you getting at me about my comment 'that GPs get paid a fortune\".???? I was not trying to get at them or even degrade waht they do for a living, i was merely trying to persuade Sad girl to see her Doc without feelining guilty about it. Okay , not getting at you either, just wanting to raise the point..

sad Girl, melbis message is spot on, and you should just be brutally honest WITH YOURSELF TO YOUR DOCTORotherwise you dont know where this illness could take you. take care, hugs to you all, Katy.

6

Personally , I think that GPs are paid far too much! I have great difficulty getting an appointment with the GP of my choice, and it is often a case of having to ring at 8am in the morning to 'see' if there happens to be an appointment - as you can imagine there are many others trying to do the same and getting nowhere.

I used to work with the elderly and many times have been met with tears from my residents because yes, maybe they have managed to get an appointment for that day, but how on earth are the able to get to the surgery at such short notice. It adds unnecessary stress to their lives and makes me see RED!!!!

Meanwhile our GPs are earning in excess of £100 k a year and no longer have to work evenings, nights or weekends unless they are happy to - for an extra fee of course.

I recently was called for jury service (have already done it once and actually really enjoyed it) but with ME no way was I able to agree to doing it again. A letter was required from my GP - at a cost of £20 to enable me to 'be excused' from doing it

As I type this, I can feel my blood pressure rising higher and higher. Even this Government has admitted that they made a grave error with the latest GP contracts and are trying to find a way of changing things - far too late now.

In fact I think my BP has now risen so high I shall have to TRY and get an appointment with my GP tomorrow morning - with little success and a lot of hanging on the phone in the mean time, I am quite sure. :steam:

Katie

(Hi there Tiny Tears x)

7

PS - My brother works for a major drug company and some of the 'perks' GPs receive to promote their drugs have to be seen to be believed!!

Phew, I need to have a lie down now! :zzz: I think I have finally blown a fuse!

8

:lol: You cheered me up.

I am feeling spaced, dizzy and have no appetite, actually trying to burm sausages in kitchen to get myself eating agin.

Your GPS surgery sounds like my mothers. Its madness is it not to think that they can mark a paitient as a time waister, pain in the nech or a \"frequent flyer\"as my mum has been called in her GP notes. It makes my blood boil. Sorry, but she did write her car off, was unconscious and step broke her sternem, and her mother died in a very simialiar way. aLSO LIVES IN THE COUNTRY, SO HOW DARE THEY, AND :lol: bp SHOT THROUGHT THE ROOF NOW.....POSSIBLY BURNING A HOLE IN IT WITH THE ENERGY. Anyway, Ill go calm myself, buy Katie K, your comments made me laugh!!!

9

Sorry, meant to write \"frequent flyer\" :lol: :oops:

10

Hi there Tiny Tears

Pleased I cheered you up!! Sorry to hear your mum has had such problems though.

There are some really very good GPs around (especially some of the younger ones, I find) but several of my friends are GPs and they were all totally amazed when their new contracts were drawn up several years ago and couldn't believe their luck. They were laughing all the way to the bank!!

I know what I am going to be in my next life .... :doctor:

Hope you managed to eat your sausages, even if they were a bit on the crispy side. Do look after yourself.

Katie xx

Katie xx

11

:shock: Sorry Katie k, could only manage 1 sausage after reading that blurb written by Donna, and her little experience, or sorry magnified pleasure, only if anally gratified :lol: :lol: :lol: Made me feel really queasy. It was a bit shocking :shock: :shock: to say the least, worried about my ....you know what, oh its enough to make you sick....sorry I know you read it, Donna I hope you get beeter soon. This is what i cant stand about medicine, butchers are just another type of surgeon. :oops: :oops: :cry: :shock:

12

hi everyone

thanks very much 4 your concern and advice,can i just say that my depression all boils down 2 my childhood i went through a hell of a time and no matter how hard i try i just cant snap out of it,i have 4 children they are 16,14,12 and 10 and if it wasnt 4 them i know 4 a fact i wouldnt be here,when im around people i try 2 put a brave face on but i know 4 a fact they all think im miserable so it makes the situation worse and then i try 2 avoid people the best i can,i cry myself 2 sleep every night and i feel like im going mad,i might go docs this week if i find the courage but 2 be honest i wouldnt know where 2 start in telling her how i feel,anyway thanks again 4 the advice.

13

Hi there sad girl

Depression is not something that anyone can just 'snap out of' and no one here would expect you to do that, and no GP would either. It is nothing to be ashamed of - thousands and thousands of people suffer from varying degrees of it, and it is not something that can be sorted out without help from others.

Please, please do take our advice and make an appointment to see your GP - she really would be able to help you enormously. From what you say, it sounds as if issues from childhood need to be addressed and maybe just talking to someone, other than your family may be of tremendous help and relief to you.

Maybe if you write down how you feel - in fact exactly what you have told us, you could hand the note to your GP and she would very quickly establish that you have severe depression and need help. Please be very brave and take the steps to do this - we will all be behind you and will be here for you. One of the joys of this forum is that you can say exactly how you feel and we all understand and do not judge.

Do keep in touch and let us know how you go on. Please do make that appointment.

Katie xx

14

Note to Tiny Tears

Hi there. Can't believe you were eating a sausage of all things whilst reading that! :lol: :lol: No wonder you could only manage one.

Do look after yourself though - hopefully your medication side effects will soon sort themselves out.

Katie x

15

hi all again

yesterday i felt good but 2day i feel like crap again why is that?i mean how can 1 day u feel ok the next your down in the dumps again i just dont understand it but 2day i really feel like i wanna end it all,i really hate my kids seeing me like this and i feel that they would be better off without me then i think 2 myself im just being selfish but i cant help the way im feeling,i was thinking of going docs next week cos i have 2 go about something else so i might tell her if i find the courage,sorry if i sound like im moaning just needed 2 get it of my chest.

thanks