Hello everyone,
I am going to try and make this as short as possible. Basically I got diagnosed wirh GAD (general anxiety disorder) back in October 2016. I literally went through a few months of panic attacks and basically overthinking that I was crazy and I was going to go pyscho! I finally got over that fear and even went through dp/dr for a few months and thats over and done with too. Now I have a new obsession/fear which is The fear of harming/killing myself. Its listerally unbearable!!! I feel trapped, anxious whenever I think of it!
I basically cannot do anything! I know im NOT depressed. Im active, I eat healthy, i force myself everyday to go out and go to the gym, go shopping, anything that can make me feel active. I have such a great family and a twin sister who has to deal with my BS 24/7. Shes amazing! She has NO anxiety what so ever.
I would NEVER EVER harm myself in anyway but why do these rhoughts feel so real? Its making me feel like I am stuck in a hole and cant get out. I try and try to let the thoughts pass but I just cant seem to not fear it! Am I actually suicidal? Is this what going to happen to me? I dont wanna end my life im only 27! Just thinking of it scares the living s*** out of me!!! Has this happened to anyone!? Please help!! Thanks everyone! God bless xoxo
Hi mel403
You are not alone in this, and there are people out there that can help.
If you are having these suicidal thoughts we strongly recommend you to speak to someone. The Samaritan offer a safe space where you can talk openly about what your are going through.
They can help you explore your options, understand your problems better, or just be there to listen.
Their contact details are on our patient information leaflet > https://patient.info/health/dealing-with-suicidal-thoughts which also offers lots of other advice on how you can access the help you need.
Please do reach out - the team at the Samaritans, and the other people in our leaflet, will understand exactly what you're going through and will be able to help.
Kindest Regards
Patient
I have had health issues all year . I had prostatitis which knocked me for six over two months . Went to urology and had tests except for the camera into the bladder which was supposed to have been done but never materialised. Things have eased considerably on that front except for pain in pubic region. I have then dealt with back issues and had two mri scans which showed nothing serious except for arthritis and disc bulge. Then costochondritis which seems to affect my lower ribs and sternum . And now a throat problem has arisen . It feels like a lump in the throat with a cold sensation and slight horseNess. I've had scope and been told silent reflux . The thing is its been three weeks since then . I've changed my diet to where I hardly eat . I've mainly drank water . I don't drink alcohol and have give up smoking . Nothing has changed to the throat . Ive been on tramodol for a few years and am trying to stop that too . From six a day down to three then two and now one . I'm also taking omeprozole but nothing is helping . I'm at my wits end . I wake up every morning feeling scared that something is seriously wrong . I get burning pains in my arms and feel like I'm dying and curl up in a ball . I dread sleeping at night knowing I'm going to be the same next morning . I'm feeling like I want to hurt myself and feel like ending it all but am a coward to do that .
Mel,
You just said it. God bless, start reading the Bible, a paragraph every day. God has a purpose for you. Meditate on the reading daily. Read in the morning
Yes it happened to me but I do self harm I'm in my 40s used to self harm when I was a child. I have thought about suicide but that would just rip everyone apart positive thoughts are the key. I personally don't think you have a problem because you are in full control of you situation at least you don't need people to help you. You can think straight. The mind works overtime and you must keep this under control say to yourself your a good person. If anyone upsets you turn your head and put your hand up saying "talk to the hand and not the face, because I'm not listening".
Hi michelle40250,
We note from a recent post which you have made to our forum that you may be experiencing thoughts around self-harm. If we have misinterpreted your comments then we apologies for contacting you directly. But if you are having such thoughts then please note that you are not alone in this, and there are people out there that can help.
If you are having these suicidal thoughts then we strongly recommend you speak to someone who may be able to help. The Samaritans offer a safe space where you can talk openly about what you are going through. They can help you explore your options, understand your problems better, or just be there to listen.
Their contact details are on our patient information leaflet here: https://patient.info/health/dealing-with-suicidal-thoughts, which also offers lots of other advice on how you can access the help you may need.
If you are having such thoughts then please do reach out to the team at the Samaritans (or the other people detailed in our leaflet) who will understand what you're going through and will be able to help.
Kindest regards
Patient