Hi again
Can medication really make you feel up beat and be able to face the future whatever you may throw at yourself? I'm becoming less convinced as time goes by.
My depression has revealed something which will upset my family and now I can't live with myself as I will always feel very guilty, as there is no-one else to blame other than myself. Leaving this world is a very cowardly thing for me to do as I will only be thinking of myself, but staying means constant persecution. I have told some people in the family including my husband whom it directly involves, which is very hard for him. Everyone says that no-one will think any worse of me- I feel not true, and that they will still love me, but I feel that I don't deserve anyones love. My husband says, together with the Dr's that I need to be feeling more 'normal' before I can make any decisions and confront the issue. Am now on 60mg of citalopram. Don't know how I wil get through tomorrow.
Arial asks: Can medication really make you feel up beat and be able to face the future whatever you may throw at yourself?
Unfortunately the answer to that is NO! It can help but we have to be prepared to put in the effort too. Sorry effort probably the wrong word there! We have to work at it too by finding what things can best help us.
You say you can't live with it ~ your family do and will love you no matter what. Anger is a possibility for a while ~ afterall how many times has someone in your family made you feel angry and hurt? Did it stop you loving them?
There is only one person sweetheart that is judging you and that is yourself.
Don't be so hard on yourself. We have all made some dreadful mistakes in our lives. Don't allow your mistakes to destroy you and your family. Instead learn from your mistakes and become a better person, a person you like.
If it feels too painful to discuss your feelings with someone else then please try writing it down to yourself - read it the day after and the day after every day until one day you feel you can rip it up and throw it away.
Your husband is right - give yourself the time to heal first - time really isa great healer.
Try to stay strong
Love
Melbi x
Melbi
thanks for you response. I feel calmer at the moment, but don't know how I will get through tomorrow or the next day. Please keep in touch though. You talk about chat rooms Where will I find these? thanks again
There's a link on this thread>>>>>
http://experience.patient.co.uk/viewtopic.php?t=19996
Don't worry about tomorrow until it comes then just take one step at a time. Try not to think of a whole day. If you need to lie down then lie down, just do what is easiest for you at the time.
Remember you got through today - you can get through tomorrow - one step at a time.
And please dont be too hard on yourself.
We are all here for you.
Love
Melbi xxx