Hi all, this is my first post so please be gentle.
I am due in for sigmoidoscopy.
On a previous attempt privately to have both ends done at once, I panicked to the point I could barely recite my own date of birth, rapid heart beat, tunnel vision, hearing going, the list goes on. And unfortunately I could not go through with it. This was with 20mg Temazepam.
I believe my fear dates back to when I was 6, I was due in for an op, and I flipped at the last minute and was pinned down by surgeons and my parents, the last thing I remember is the blurry plastic of the gas mask they gased me out with.
Now I'm looking for anyone that has such an intense fear of invasive procedures in clinical settings, people just look at me like I'm silly and say "oh it's nothing", but those very same people would present mania if they saw a spider in the bath... Get my drift ?!
My doctor said they will prescribe "something" for me to take pre procedure, and I called the endoscopy init I'm due in to, and they said they are happy with this.
Now what do you think is best to prescribe me?, seeing as 20mg temazepam didn't work last time?
DiAzepam looks likely to be prescribed, but I seem to have a somewhat naturally high tolerance to benzodiazepines, and I don't think they get it when I say "that dose won't touch me", and I will end up looking like a substance abuser if I start sharing the information I know about drugs, which honestly, I'm not.
Noting I don't want to adopt IV sedation as I just feel I will be completely out of control, I want it to be self administered, I know it's weird, but if I take pills before I go, and recognise their effect it will be less anxiety