Joined this forum last night; stayed a little later at work because I didn't want to share a lift to the car park with the others who were leaving at the same time.
Read a few of the messages on here. Then sat in my car and cried before driving home.
Now, I've not done that [cried] for a good while. This morning, I have done the same [cried] three times.
I just forgot [stopped] taking my 60mgs of fluoxetine during the two weeks I had off work recently. I didn't need these any more did I? What do they do anyway? I've nothing to be 'depressed' about any more. Young family, good job. Why do I need them? Let's get off them after eight years [longer than this on and off] and perhaps go for some herbal remedies if needed and some exercise [As if! I have three kids!].
But it's not that easy is it. Anger crept back in and, when I started back to work - an environment outside of my home where I have to socially interact - I clam up. I cannot bring myself to make eye contact and can barely speak to people.
In short, I am rude, ill-mannered, uninterested, angry, miserable. I cannot operate 'normally'.
Is this the umbrella of 'depression' or am I simply arrogant, ignorant, poorly educated and, indeed, bloody rude?
When I increased from 40mg to 60mg a while ago, I never felt more confident in my own ability; belief I have never had or lacked for what feels like a lifetime and more.
So this morning I took three 20mg prozac pills. What does it matter if I continue to take them, if I can be 'normal', operate on a level playing field with 'the others' in the future...