Ever since I've been diagnosed with hsv2, I've been really depressed and stressing out about it. Is anyone else experiencing the same thing? This is really tearing me down mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Like how could God allow something like this to happen to someone especially in a depressed state when your judgement is impaired. This disease is wreaking havoc on my confidence, self esteem, and self worth. Veterans or people that endures this disease and has conquered it psychologically on a daily basis, can you please give me a new patient some insight on some good coping mechanisms I could use to better cope and adjust to this illness? Please, thanks in advance!
Hi im in a similar position , my partner of 4 years caught hsv2 while we was on a break, we got back together and he kept it from me for a year !! All the time we was having unprotected sex, he only told me about this 4 weeks ago and im struggling to come to terms with all this , not only did he lie to me for a whole year he took my right away from me !
I have shown no symptoms of hsv2 at all so i paid for a private blood test to be done and i still cant have a 100% answer as to wether he has passed it on to me
Im stuck in utter limbo i feel so alone and dont know where to turn, i love my partner dearly but i have to decide if i can forgive him fo lying to me and putting me and my health at risk
It helps to talk to people who will not judge unor make u feel dirty or ashamed
Sorry i cant be much more of a help to you i just wanted u tonknow ur not alone
Aaawww man, thanks for trying to comfort me honey. I appreciate that. Your situation on the other hand is horrible and deceitful. He's wrong for not telling you, and he could have at least been honest and candid to you about his situation, you probably would have understood instead of putting you at risk! If people would just be candid about diseases that they have, the world would be in a much better place. If I were you, I would dump his ass because that's just wrong on so many levels. His actions were deceitful and depraved and unworthy of forgiveness. I know how you feel about loving your partner, but honey don't let your heart which is wicked and deceitful overshadow your better judgement!
Youre not the 1st person to tell me to dump his ass ! I have spoken to a few people on here about my situation and everyone has said the same, if he would of told me in the beginning we could ov worked through it and delt with it together as a couple
the fact that he tought he was safe to have unprotected sex with me while he had no visible symptoms put me at risk if i knew about it i could ov protected myself or told him to get lost ! Its the fact he took my choice to sleep with him away from me that im finding unforgivable
Im sorry i couldnt be much help to you but you have been a great help to me and for that i thank you dearly
I feel so lost right now as even after paying private for a blood test im still none the wiser about my situation 😞
Its the not knowing that is playing on my mind
If i have a future partner then my ex has but me in a difficult position but i myslef am i openly honest person and would never decive a person or take away their righjt as a human being to chose for themselfs
Thnak you so much for taking the time to listen and help me
You're welcome
I'd say to forgive or depends on his age and where you want your relationship to go. Do you want kids? With him? Might he otherwise be the guy you want to spend your life with? Either way, his inability to face his fear of losing you by telling you, protecting you and giving you the choice is unacceptable and I'd tell him so. Unacceptable enough to leave depends on you, his response to your concerns and where you two want your relationship to go. If you want a family together and face the fears of life together, he's going to need to be stronger and more mature. To think things through more and realize youd find out and it may be worse than telling you before.
Just remember if you do forgive, truely do. Don't harbor resentment and bury your feelings. HE NEEDS TO REASSURE YIU he understands his shortcoming, that he needs to grow up and not allow his fears to control him and hurt those he loves. If you try to forgive without that confidence, it will eat at you and you'll always be resentful. I've been there. There's a good saying applies to keeping a clean house and also a 'clean' marriage... Clean as you go.
Im 38 and hes 36 i have 2 children from a prevoius marriage and he has a daugther we have no plans for any more children weve neen together 4 years now
And he says he didnt tell me when we got back together bcs it took him ages to win menbk and he didnt wnt to risk me leaving him which i understand and totally het his reason i dont agree with them and i wud o been honest straight away,
I know have to forgive him fully and if i decide i can fogube him i have to let it go and move on but im struggling to forgive i no early days still (4wks) but im not sure if i can trust him again ive told him already i dont wnt to end up resenting him
He has been truly trying to put this right and I have been quite harsh in him partly bcs i wnt him to hurt like i am i also feel sorry for him bcs he has no one to talk to bcs he hasnt told a sole about him having hsv2 so hes goin through a lot himself
Thank tou for advice and taking ur time to read and respond to me
Its nice to be able to unload as i myself havent told anyone except on here as i feel ashamed and embarrassed
Not having someone to talk to can really make these things difficult. He needs to focus on not allowing his fears control him. I've been there recently myself and it is immature and will hurt my life and those I care about. Sounds to me IF you are otherwise happy, enjoy each others company and DONT have other unresolved issues (like why you originally broke up), this is worth working through. Also yes... Time. This is new news. I was diagnosed oct8. Was devestated too and sometimes still pretty crappy. At least you have eachother. and I have mine too :-)
I have a very different opinion. Most people don't know they have it because doctors do not routinely screen for it. Then they give it to people not knowing they have it. The medical community including CDC have no issue with this...they do not believe everyone needs to know their partner'a herpes status before having sex, otherwise they'd screen everyone. So why is it such a big deal to not disclose?
Hmmm. Interesting point. I'm going to have to think on that. People don't disclose they get cold sores before they share beverages with others....
I've heard the reasonings behind not automatically testing and it's an interesting atance
The big deal Is that he lied to me and kept this from me, putting me at risk, so its about trust and my choice as a human being
He knew he had it ! It would be different if he didnt know, its the fact he knew all along and could potentionaly pass it on to me
I believe he should of given me the choice as to weather i wanted to slep with him or not, he knowingly slept with me unprotected for a year to me that is imorral (just my personal opinion which i acknowledge everyone will have a different one)
Thats just wrong in my eyes and toatlly deceitful
It seems to me, the emotional devastation is so universal among those newly diagnosed that I almost wonder if it's a chemical thing. An immune depression response thjng or something. I too was devestated and combined with relationship status not directly related to it, I was semi suicidal for 2 days. But even then I knew it would pass. There are so many who live happy lives and loving relationships with herpes. My ob wasn't even really bad, compared to some here. Seriously. Just believe me. It's universal. And we all universally feel better too. 😀 Seems to take around a month, or to the end of the ob.
... I missed the 4 yr. was comparing your situation to my 18 yr relationship (he 39, me 34) and all the history we have. It's all I know. Maybe you guys have in 4 yrs what we do or better than what we do in 18. Wish you and him the best either way. Unforgivable or not, im sure in the end you both deserve to be happy.
Psychological distress is a given. Coping with it comes with experience. It is only after grieving and coming to terms with it does the pain go away. One thing that really helped me was to dig up as much information on living with it as I could. This place is a good repositiory of personal experiences and following them is not particuarly comforting but in hind sight, it helped a lot.
I am going through 2nd outbreak and I can say from my experience it is nowhere near as bad as the first. Far less than half as painful and debilitating. (I'm a dude so YMMV but it's still traumatizing nevertheless)
Another thing to take away from research is the wealth of information to combat it. Top of my list... Lysine supplements and avoiding too much arginine has made this outbreak completely bearable. Sure some pain and ache but no giant excruciating blisters that took a month to clear up.
And finally. In a lot of ways I am healthier than I was previous to this vile infection. Eating right is key to minimizing the symptoms. Hell I've lost weight and rid or minimized a whole host of vices that I no longer really even think about. (besides smoking.. that one is tough as nails.)
So on the bright side, it will change your life and if you really loathe dick pain as much as I do, it'll change you for the better.
Cheers and good luck. All is not lost. Just another chip on the shoulder is all.
The issue for me is that i dont know if i acutally have hsv2 🤔
My parnter has it but i have shown no symptoms and blod tests have come back inconclusive for me i am waiting for swab results so im stuck in limbo waiting
My other issue is that my patner failed to tell me he has hsv2 which he caught whole we were separated then had un protected sex with me
Thank toy ao much for fantastic advice and support it really helps to be able to talk and not b judged as i have told no one yet
😊 Thank you so much everyone
Talking and gathering knowledge is such a help and brings a slight relief to me
😊thank you again for ur support
It really is good to talk
The fact im unsure if i have hsv2 is my biggest issue but im hoping for swab results back tomorrow so at least i should know one way or other 😐And it will be a massive weight off my shoulders and i can then move on and if i have to deal with having hsv2 then so be it , ive never had any symptoms at all and inconclusive blood results is hopefuly a good sign for me and i might actualy be lucky and he hasnt passed it on to me.
Ur support and help has really been a comfort and massive help to me
Girl realy? Now if you don't know, then that's one thing, but if you do know disclose to the person so that they can make a conscious decision on whether or they want to be with you. Who wants to live with an incurable disease for the rest of their life if they can help it! Herpes is in fact a disease that can go bad if your immune system is not strong or healthy enough to keep it at bay. That's why it's important to disclose these kinds of things because you're putting people at risk regardless of how you look at it. If you don't disclose it you're a low down trifling person who disregards people's health period! Who wants to deal with outbreaks if they don't have to, that could easily be avoided!
Oh thank you so much for responding to the subject matter at hand! This help a lot!
Thank you