Hi
NB: cross-posted on 'Mirtazapine' forum.
I've had clinical depression for 30 years. I have a severe depressive episode for about 6 months of every year, successfully treated with medication so far. The last few years the depression has escalated into psychotic depression. I am currently on the maximum dosage of 45mg Mirtazapine which seems to reduce the depression enough to prevent any major psychotic episodes until I get better.
During the current episode (2 months in), the medication is not holding back the psychosis and I am becoming very agitated and confused (got lost walking home today!) and hearing children singing "Stephen is ill again, Stephen is ill again,..." in my head all day. I am also getting paranoid. I took a chemical cosh (sedative) last night and slept a good 12 hours but still have the voices in my head all day.
Has anyone transitioned from the medication for depression to anti-psychotics and have any advice? I am seeing my doctor tomorrow (by the way has been the best GP I've ever had) and have my 'annual' psychiatric assessment next week.
I am just anxious on what the next stage of treatment may be...
Stephen
Is 'god' an anti-psychotic?
If you mean 'god' as in Jesus, Jehovah, Mohammed, etc; then my answer would be: should I follow a 'god' who would allow the murder of 140 innocent children in Pakistan, or a 'god' of which his 'agent', a man of the church, who sexually abused me as a child?
Have I tried 'god'? Erm...no...rather not.
I don't mean to interfere but saying to people have you tryed God is ok but it don't work for everyone. I have tryed God for the last 32 years and all that happened is I have got more ill over time. I'm not saying I don't believe in God because I do but my point is that God may help us through this but believing in God is not Cure. Please don't get me wrong because I have faith in God and pray every day and the way I see it is that I am alive because of my faith in God and if it wasn't for God I would maybe off committed suicide by now. God will help and guide us but the rest is up to us I think
Hey, your situation sounds tough, I've been rowing on my cousin's rowing machine and found it helps. I suppose it biochemically compliments the Sertraline and quetiapine. I've found the quetiapine helps with bad thoughts. It suppresses them, so helps with my OCD. I have a friend who has psychotic depression, she seems to balance it well with creative outlets like art, music (dancing/learning an instrument) Maybe just realising the thoughts are just over-vamped mental noise which your brain confuses with physical stimuli? (hence the auditory hallucinations) I know I don't have the same illness, but I thought this might help? CBT is meant to be good, meditation might help with dismissing the voices. I hope this is of some help. Sometimes the best answers are the simple ones eg being open to new drugs is the current cocktail isn't working (Obviously only prescription, cannabis etc is likely to worsen worse your symptoms) Going private is advisable if you can afford it, as NHS waiting times can be colossal, as I'm sure you're aware.
Thanks allycats,
Yes - I do quite a lot of exercise at the moment and you are right does help. I also do some art... again helps me relax. I am cr@p at CBT and end up arguing with the Psych. and 'bored' with the other patients if group-based! I know, sounds bad...
I have found NHS OK - I have a very good GP... I am classified as 'at risk' and can get an appointment within the hour and fast-tracked into the local Psych. dept within 24 hours.
I am quite experienced though (30 years of this...), and know the signs and when to 'knock' myself out (legally with prescribed drugs)... which probably prevents 99% of all emergencies... I think the doctors appreciate my insight and capability to act as nurse/patient.
Stephen
No I understand. You feel like you can't relate to anybody right? Like all you see is another professional. I think sometimes it's difficult to explain what goes on in your head to people. I know from experience that medication can be the way to go and that it's essential to both you and myself, but I don't really see it as any different from taking any other sort of pill. People stigmatise mental issues so much, buy 1 in 6 people are suffering from one at any given time and 1 in 4 will become mentally ill at least once in their lifetime. I can vouch for meditation, I'd really recommend it. I didn't initially really believe in it until I had an amazing feeling of calm during one session. MRI scans have found frequent meditators demonstrate physically altered brain structures than those of no meditators. It seems to me that a lot of therapies focus on aspects of meditation now-mindfulness especially
For those who believe, praying must bring some help but you're so right stephen, where or what is God in the scheme of things for such attrocities to be continuing. I don't have psychosis so I can't begin to understand how difficult it must be for you and I feel great sympathy for you having to contend with such trauma. I have however found meditation (non spiritual) to be of help to me with my severe anxiety and stress issues. Even small meditation exercises seem to bring my adrenalin down to more normal levels and my head clears so I can at least think things through without the nightmare storm that goes on in my mind. I really hope you find something to help you through this. Good luck my friend. xx
Hey Stephen why do u look at God in such a bad point of view....First of all you should see that you have been living for 30 years....if God was as such you said....he wouldn't have let you lived long....and for all the time you said you got lost....from what you said...I know after when you were well aware of what you were doing...you were safe....things happen in our life...which we think is because of God....but it's not...it's because of men....God does not want to control us but he wants to give us the choice...I was harassed when I was young...it's not something I wan to remember....but I know that God is a loving God and it's not because of him but because of the evil nature of men.... it was because of God I got pass that event....
He is always there.....the only one who we can count on....always....and he loves you so much....more than we will ever know...there is honestly nothing else which is greater than his love....and if you're wondering who I am talking about is Jesus Christ....he will help you only if you let him