How it affects me..is subtle...I dont' always realize it always.
For example: I am in a relationship.
If that b/f says something similar to my past...I freak out on him...He is NOT the person that hurt me...but he suffers my wrath.
When I hear a police car...I shake and think something has happened to one of my boys.
I really think it is MY HOUSE that I live in that causes me all the anxiety...If I could move...I think I could move further away from all the memories..all the walls I was hit into...the shower I had to think about who would bother me in.
The cellar...my boys lived in and destroyed.
Etc....I don't have alot of nightmares...but I have alot of familiar sounds, and situations that set me to the past and cause much anxiety.
I'm so sorry to hear that some people and events can be so cruel abd hard you don't even know until something triggers it even the least expected thing
My difficulties seem insignificant to yours. I have spoken to a fertility counsellor and she's only there helping women as she's been through assault herself, she said once you accept you aren't a victim then you'll cope better. It's easier said than done, but remember your boyfriend didn't do this, if you do you'll remember why you are with him. If he's as supportive as my husband then he'll understand unconditionally. My poor husband has everything thrown at him emotionally, but I eventually with his help spoke out. Ooh forgot to say it's Sam by the way.
No ones problems are ever more significant than your own.
Anything that disrupts YOUR life, causes YOU depression and anxiety is "significant". I have been upset over way less significant things...while my sponsor was dying....and I thought the same as you....that I shouldn't complain cause heck this woman is dying and she maintains an upbeat attitude.
All I can take from that is that we all have different personalities and different coping skills....but for example at the time I was struggling to pay my mortgage...and compared to dying...yea...not as BAD...but still a "significant" stressor for me...cause I as far as I knew wasn't going to die by the time my mortgage was due...therefore I was distraught.
She listened to me...and I listened to her. We have to all love each other the way we are...and again..no ones problems...are insiginficant...We can't compare...but only try to understand or relate to how a person is feeling and coping when they are struggling with ANY issue.
Hmm true, it's nice to find somewhere people listen though, that site does have people who do that which makes life easier to cope with rather than cope alone which makes life harder and though our problems are different we can see what different people are coping with and try to offer support. Some of what you read on here is so bad it just makes your own problems appear insignificant or small in comparison. Everyone has problems but it's nice to know this site helps you to cope somehow with your own problems.