My brother is 13 years old and we live together with my parents and grandparents. Our family environment is pretty stable, no major fights or anything like that. I get along extremely well with my brother and am almost 7 years older than him.
Ever since I moved to University, I've started seeing behavioural changes in him. Be it that he's more shy around girls or that he very quiet and isolated in the house. Although I understand that puberty comes with all these changes, he does say a few things that get me worried.
Examples such as 'you're the favourite child, they don't like me as much' or 'You're the one who gets all the responsibility. All they do is nag me/shout at me' and even 'I don't have friends at school. They call me gay because I don't have a girlfriend'. Strange thing is, it seems that he's pretty popular at school! I'm becoming slightly worried, could these be signs of depression?
Please do help an extremely worried sister in need! Any help would be appreciated!
Hi D
From what you have mentioned i think he is a sensititve child, your parents and Grandparents should be very loving towards him and give him importance in little things in life and aporeciate him for little things.
You should stay in touch sith him on the phone etc.
Its a sensititve age, so just be careful.
In my opinion its not depression at all. But i am not a doctor!!
Hey pacehuman,
He's always been the more sensitive of the two of us and things have always got to him more than to me.. My mother was diagnosed with Kidney failure when I was 11 and my brother was 3/4 so I kinda matured must faster and seemed to have bypassed the puberty phase, hence this being far to overwhelming for me!
Thank you for the advice, and I will try and make sure that the adults of the family take a keen interest in his opinions and suggestions!
Pleasure, to help you anytime
I think this is largely puberty kicking in, you were and still are, someone he looks up to and you are not around. Maybe he doesn't want to admit that because of his peers at school? Maybe the Sudents advice service at Uni can offer you some advice on how to help him out?
I would not worry too much he is possibly a little jealous at your luck at being able to go to Uni. Why not invite him up to stay one weekend and introduce him to your new friends and show him around. Don't just concentrate on all the positive (nice) bits of uni life but tell him about the things that you don't like and also how you miss him. Is he likely to want to go to Uni? if so encourage him and offer a few guidelines. Also when you were at home I expect you had your share of nags and moans, tell him before you left you took your share of nags now the family only have your brother. He is the younger and I expect they feel over protective. Don't speak to your parents about your concerns yet but if it continues after a month or so tell them you are concerned that they may be upsetting him. Regarding his sex life (or lack of it) do not get involved listen if he speaks about it but tell him to take life day by day it will sort itself out he is still very young and I know of middle aged men who still don't 'understand' females and yet females think he is adorable. Remember we are all islands within ourselves we just have to learn how to build bridges from time to time. He is lucky to have YOU as a sibling.
Thank you everyone for all your helpful advice, he's been perking up a little which is always a good sign!
Thank you all once again!
Hi D30831,
The quotes do seem like normal teenage behaviour, and hopefully it's just a phase.
Still keep an eye on him, to see if you notice any other symptoms.
You seem like a caring big sister, and it's good he can come and talk to you. Keep it up!