Quiet time

[nh_user_993748]

I love my daughter and I love spending time with her. We've been sitting here together watching tv, but right about now I could use some quiet time. She watches all those...like those shows on MTV or such (like those drama "shows" about dating, hooking up, etc). Maybe I'm just getting old, but these shows just show people who just met trying to have sex, or whatever. (I think it's called Real World or something or other.) Guess I'm showing my fuddy-duddy side.

Anyway... she's going out in a little bit and I'll finally have silence. I haven't even started any of my housework yet because I prefer to work in peace. 

Do you ever find yourself just wanting to be alone? Breathe a sigh of relief when you're alone? Seems I've been liking the silence way too much. But I feel my anxiety building. I've been sitting here playing solitaire on my computer while she's watching her shows. Maybe it's just the drama on her shows. Maybe it's just me. Argh. 

[nh_user_963132]

We have it all sorted here, my Wife has Her own computer and She does Her on thing while I am talking on here.

Mind like today, Black Friday, she has been buying Poeny plants for a new border she will be putting in. and I managed to get a new razor. 

We watch TV as well, when we have time

B.

[nh_user_993748]

Usually  my daughter stays in her room all the time, but when she's off, she'll say that we're gonna watch tv together. I do value my time with her, but today I just couldn't. 

Black Friday... my daughter was going to go out shopping last night, but her friends decided not to go. Don't know if she'll hit up the stores tonight. I'm too broke to buy presents. Lucky to have a roof over our heads! 

Peony's are delightful! Gardening is good for the soul. And glad you got a razor to boot!

[nh_user_963132]

Little pleasures mean more than big pleasures

Look after yourself, keep a hold

B.

[nh_user_975543]

Oh yes. I understand. It's actually been an issue in the past because I typically like to watch movies and TV alone. I feel safer that way, more comfortable. And after work I always spend an hour or more alone. Maybe all anxiety sufferers are introverts at heart? Haha. I do take several long walks throughout the day when the weather isn't too terrible, and when I'm back at my place I like to retreat to a room now and then just to read my news or browse the web. Self care is super important! 

Be well

[nh_user_993748]

Yes! You get it!! I went through something which I considered to be traumatic earlier this year. I couldn't even make it out to the living room because I didn't want to leave the safety of my bedroom. At that time, my mind viewed the living room as too open and scary. I needed the comfort of my bed. It was after that event that my anxiety became unmanageable. 

I read somewhere that being an introvert is not to be confused with social anxiety. But I've always been somewhat of an introvert. IMHO, I think the 2 go hand in hand. My bedroom used to be my retreat, but we have a terrible problem with bed bugs, so for now the bedroom is off limits. This has become somewhat of an issue with me because I NEED quiet. My brain needs a chance to escape from any kind of stimulus. But I've lost that since now I sleep on the sofa. My husband is a nightowl and is up and down all night with the tv on. I stick my ear buds in and listen to white noise to try to drown out the tv. When I was in my bedroom, I'd just connect speakers to my phone and keep the volume low with same white noise. It's a bit irritating, to me anyway, trying to get in a comfortable position. I think that's why I value my peace and quiet during the day. I used to have music playing as I cleaned the house, but now I much prefer the quiet. What I have been doing lately is putting on a "virtual fireplace" either with or without music. I've been listening to instrumental versions/orchestra/choir Christmas music with the fireplace (I get these from YouTube). 

Now it is nice and quiet. I just have a bit of Christmas music playing on Pandora, but kept low. My daughter is home today, so we will see how my day plays out.

I used to love going out for walks. But with my depression, I'm lucky to get my fat bum up off the sofa and get the housework done. And, for some reason, bright sunny days are annoying. i much prefer rainy, cloudy days.

I miss my tablet. I would sit and read or play games when I'd head to bed. It's only lately that I've been able to concentrate enough to read a book. I have a huge one that I'm half way through. "Call the Midwife" trilogy. Almost 800 pages! Bulky book to have around, but it's a good escape.

I'm trying to remember that it is very important that I take care of me the best I can. 

[nh_user_975543]

I'm sorry to hear that your bedroom is, for the time being, not an option for you. It's really upsetting when those little safe spaces are ripped out from under you. Some people might think that sounds silly, but you and I (and many others on this Forum) understand how important the little things can be.

I'm glad that you're able to use white noise when you're trying to sleep. I actually tend to listen to something relaxing at night, like an old Bob Ross episode or YouTube videos where people have nice, soft voices. I'm really not into music at all. Just like you, I like things to be quiet most of the time. Sunny days can be unpleasant for me, partly because the light bothers my eyes, but also because sunny days are usually much louder. People run around outside, play music, etc. It makes me sound like a miserable old man ("get off my lawn, kids!", but I really do like things to be more quiet and relaxed. And so rainy days are sometimes nice for me too. 

Tablets are very neat things to have. You can do a lot with them. I actually do have one, although right now it's dead. But at night it's a great way to read, watch videos, or play games. Is it possible you could get another one? I bought mine 4 years ago and needed to save for over 3 months to afford it...but it's served me well.  

As for self-care, it is critically important you do whatever you need to do to be healthy. If this means spending lots of time alone, do it. If it means sleeping a lot, do it. If it means taking walks, do it. If it means switching jobs or finding a new career, do it. It's never selfish to do these things. We all need time for ourselves. 

Best wishes to you, friend. I hope you're able to find some quiet time today.  

[nh_user_993748]

Hi! Nice to read your reply. You so get it!!!! The little things that help keep our sanity DO mean a lot. It's how we cope. My daughter is sitting here watching her show. I feel so stupid that some dumb show can sort of "trigger" me. And I may sound like a prude, but I don't think that shows that "permit" and encourage these young people to have random sex is just... i dunno. But, then again, I"m not 20! lol 

The stuff I listen to at night is similar to what you listen to. "Sound effects"... a crowded coffee shop, rain, thunderstorms and stuff. More or less background noise. There are some really good guided imagry meditations on YouTube as well. I can't concentrate long enough to actually meditate, but like you, I like the soft voices and the images that they are describing it. If you'd like, I can send you the links to check out. Also, I found an app on my laptop where it converts YouTube videos into just the audio. Since I don't have my paid Spotify anymore, that's a good way to get the things I like to listen to. 

You don't sound like a grumpy old guy! You sound like me! lol I don't so much mind the sounds outside (but, then again, I live on a quiet street). I dunno... I prefer evenings. Everything just seems to slow down and calm down. The only time I don't like it when it gets gray, is winter. Just too many cold, snowy days. My hardest months are January-March. The 2 times I was hospitalized for my depression were in January or around there. 

I have a curse when it comes to electronics!! lol Everything I touch breaks!! This is like the 4th tablet I've had! My son gave me one a couple of years ago, but then I couldn't get it to charge. So my husband got me another one. Something happened with it, so we returned it and I got the one I have now. I can't get it to charge now. I've tried different chargers, but nothing works.  I told my daughter I want a new one for Christmas, so we'll see. Last year I told her I wanted a bluetooth speaker, and she got me a real nice one (and it still works!!!). When I was working, I had to take the bus to work. My tablet actually became somewhat of a security blanket. Everywhere I went my tablet came with me. I'm lost without it!!! My daughter got me a nice purse a while back and it has this one compartment in the front that my tablet fit perfect! They're coming down in price, so that helps.

My daughter is off today. She's sitting here watching her show. I got up and did the dishes while she watched. I'll probably take a shower to break things up. She's going out with friends later and hubby doesn't get home till 7:30 at night. So it will be quiet. 

Do you like any kinds of tv shows? I have a few. My current obsession is anything British! I have a bunch of British tv shows I've watched. I like period dramas. My absolute fav was "Downton Abbey". "Call the Midwife" is a PBS british show as well, so I've picked up on that, as well. I can't put my finger on it, but there is just something different about British tv. I like cooking shows, too. I've been watching "The Great British Bake Off". Love that one! It's been picked up here, but they've made it a lot different than the British one. I could ramble on and on... lol

Are you on social media of any sort? I'm on Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, and Pinterest (among others). I've also restarted my blog. This time it's not really about anything in particular. Just a place for me to ramble on... 

I hope you have a peace filled day my friend. 

 

[anon87974465]

Do you think that your daughter may be trying to provoke a reaction from you?

[nh_user_993748]

No. She's the quite type and we have a very close relationship. She's just trying to enjoy her time off. not sure why these dumb shows bother me. Maybe I was just in a mood. She's been watching all day. I've tried to tune out. I mostly need quiet now. She's going out shortly, then tv is going off. 

[nh_user_975543]

I'm not very good with technology - which is my little curse. It's sometimes embarassing since people in my generation are typically expected to know how to use gadgets. I'm good with email and things like that, but anything else has me in 6s and 7s. But I'm getting better. 

Yes, I like TV shows. I don't own a television these days and so I rarely watch modern shows, but I do rewatch the shows I grew up with. I've seen every episode of Roseanne about a 100 times each (even the last season), but I also like Friends, Three's Company, The Andy Griffith Show, Matlock, and All in the Family. Plus several others. As for movies, I have tons of favorites. I really like The Edge with Anthony Hopkins and Dutch with Ed O'Neill. Again, I have about 1000 favorite movies, so those are just two that are in my mind right now. 

I don't do a lot in the way of social media, although I find lately that Facebook is one of the best sources of local news. Things spread quickly on the internet, as you know! But I do enjoy reading blogs. If I had any kind of work ethic I'd probably try to start a blog or internet diary. Maybe someday.  

Hope all is well with you. Have a good night! 

Best xxx