Like Don I don't seem to be getting much better. Everyday I wake up hoping to be better but I am not. I know that the meds are working to a certain degree. There are times I feel ok. Mostly in the evenings. Insomnia. Perhaps I get 3 or 4 hours sleep. No motivation. Have to push myself to do anything. Yesterday I was a couch potato just watched House on Netflicks all day. Sweating was at its worst yesterday. I know that there isn't much to respond to. Perhaps I should change medication but having invested so much time since April 11th. 25mg for three weeks 50 the same 75 same now 100 2 and half weeks I am hesitant to do so. My dr suggested upping to 125 mg. I think she wants me on 150 mg. I don't know what to do? I find I am still withdrawing a bit I think I am a tiny bit jealous of my friends who seem to be happy and enjoying life so it is hard to be around them. The happiness doesn't spread just feel envious. sounds awful I know.
Ilynda
Llynda. I have ALL the symptoms you have just described there. I make a great mental effort, that tomorrow I am going to make myself go out & do something. A terribly disrupted nights sleep later, waking at 4 or 5am, joints screaming with arthritic pain, my head a foggy blurr. No way am I going to do anything today, i'm just SO tired, i'll try again tomorrow. Cue Groundhog Day. It goes on & on, always with good intensions. I am over the moon if I get myself to take a shower! Getting up off my chair to make a cup of tea or go to the toilet is such a mental struggle. I need shopping for food, I will do without today & go tomorrow, there's that word again, TOMORROW. I have occasional good days, which makes it worse in some ways, as it makes me see how much I can do if my mind is right. Doesn't last long though. I shut my eyes & go to sleep.
So you can see, you are not on your own here Llynda. I too am jealous of people of my age who seem to have a normal life, why can't I just wake up in the morning & feel "normal"? I take Citilopram & Propanalol. I think they help.
I also feel much the same as you. Ihave been on sertaline since feb. the first 2 months 50mg which did nothing. 2 months at 100mg. I've suffered with depression before but, nothing like this. I have been signed off work now for 4 weeks and am not due back for another 2 weeks. I have absolutly no motivation at all , I feel tired all the time , spaced out and spend most of my time thinking is this normal! If I make the effort to go shopping I need to get home as soon as possible because I feel anxious. If I manage to online shop I forget 1/2 of what I need. I actually wonder if I am going to feel normal again?
I watch people and feel sad and disgusted at myself. No motivation to do anything for myself. I push myself because I have children and I want them to grow up as normal as possible. Inside, I feel numb and just go through the motions. They have no idea how I feel but it is so hard to pretend. I go to the doctor Tuesday and I'm worried I won't get medication or the medication will have bad side effects. I am really trying to think positive...it's just so hard. I want to genuinely be happy like the people I see laughing and content. Know how you feel.