I'm so sorry that you're this discouraged. HS has a way of just beating the crap out of you, especially when you're down. Half the battle with this disease is keeping a positive attitude and to keep pushing forward.
Part of the problem with HS is that everyone has a different trigger. I think that's why it's so hard for doctors to find an effective treatment for it. What works for one person, may not work for another. Some people respond well to surgery, others, like me, don't. Some people respond well to antibiotic therapy which is essentially just a powerful anti-inflammatory, and some people don't.
The best thing you can do is to try and identify if you have a trigger. Whether it's hormoal, dietary etc. For instance, like dita, mine is definitely my diet. Nightshades are a HUGE trigger for me. I've been off them for about two years now and I've been in remission since I cut them out. And I was stage 3 under my arms, in my groin and my anal region. Other common food triggers are gluten and nuts. Avoiding sugar is also a good idea, as it's a very inflammatory in general.
Hormones are another possibility. If you notice that your HS is affected by that time of the month, chances are you have a hormonal trigger and should be evaluated.
Another common trigger is stress. And actually I think that's the one trigger that everyone with HS has in common. HS is an autoimmune disease and stress has a huge impact on breakouts. Having a stress-management protocol like yoga or swimming is a great tool, and it'll also help stabilize your mood too.
A lot of people have had success with Turmeric. It's essentially a natural anti-inflammatory and acts the same way an antibiotic would in your system, just without killing all the good intestinal bacteria and you don't build up a tolerance to it. It seems like taking it in conjunction with Zinc to help support your immune system also helps a lot of people with HS. I personally had mixed results, but al of HSers swear by it. That said, it's worth trying as it definitely won't hurt you, but it can take up to 3-6 months to see results, especially if you're HS is more severe and it sounds like it is.
Make sure you have a healthcare professional you can talk to about this, one who listens more than they talk. I personally see a DO instead of an MD, just because they're more open to treatments outside of medication and surgery, like dieting for instace. Just make sure you have someone you're comfortable with, and if you're not, find another doctor. Seriously. Your doctor isn't the one who has to live with this condition, you are.
I would really recommend doing an elimination diet to determine if you have a food trigger. just as an FYI, tobacco is a nightshade so if your breakouts are affected, chances are you have issues with nightshades.
Also, do you have anyone, like a friend or family member you can talk to about this? HS is so isolating, it always amazes me how many people try to do this on their own.