Real health problems increasing anxiety

It's been a difficult year for health problems, and thus my health (and general) anxiety. 

After a really intense period of anxiety last year where I had to take two months off work, a doctor finally decided to rule out any physical cause. After various tests they found out I had lumps on my thyroid and an autoimmune syndrome which was causing my thyroid to not work properly. During the space of about six months, they did various tests because they couldn't tell if one of the lumps on my thyroid was benign. Thankfully I got the all clear, but I had to live for six months not knowing whether I had cancer or not.

While that was a stressful situation (especially because I live abroad and it's a different language with different procedures), I think I coped pretty well. I guess it was because I had a good support network at the time, especially because they came to my many scans and the biopsy with me. Apart from all the tests and waiting, that period of my life was fairly good. Then when I got the all clear things started to look even better - I felt better, I was moving house, and had a potential new job.

Then a couple of months later I started having problems with my ears. I won't go into the long story, but a failed ear cleaning was what kicked my anxiety off in the first place. This has been going on for almost five months, with the doctors not really taking it seriously and thinking that it's just some wax and no big deal. Well it is to me and it's making me incredibly anxious. I can't sleep properly because if I lie on my side my ears clog up. I have been to see doctors, nurses, specialists and, like I said, they just clean them a bit or say to put drops in and that's it.

Things have also been going down hill since the ear problem started. I hate my job, my support network has mostly moved away, meaning that not only have I had to make new friends even when I'm feeling low, I also haven't had anyone to talk to about this. Plus two major friendships have pretty much ended. One of them just suddenly stopped answering messages or calls and started ignoring me. The other went really cold on me too - we work together and used to eat lunch together every day, and then suddenly she just stopped and started eating lunch with other people. I tried to talk to her but she just said nothing was wrong. Then, when she started to feel anxious and upset about stuff, she suddenly started wanting to see me again and talk. It made me realise that she's just using me when she needs someone to lean on. You might say that I'm better off without these two people, but it hurts so much and reinforces my view that nobody really likes me or cares. Actually, in the same period, another friend was really nasty to me and then just completely ignored me as well. It's really hard not to feel like there is something wrong with me when that happens.

Since I hardly ever have proper conversations with people - often it's just small talk with people I've recently met - I don't ever talk about this. And now I've started preferring my own company, choosing to spend time on my own in my flat instead of going out.

Sorry for the long message, it's just today I got so angry and upset because I just thought that I can't take this anymore. I'm so tired of this situation. I'm unhappier than I have ever been in my whole life. I'm not asking for a lot - just normal health, some good friends,and  a job I think is ok  (I don't even need to love it), with nice colleagues. 

I've had plenty of therapy, and tried so many techniques to try to improve my mental health, and I'm in this situation. If I ever have to make another gratitude list, I think I'll scream. And I feel like while I still have these health problems, I'll never be able to feel ok. I feel like I am failing completely at life, and I just want to be content. I'm not asking for anything special, just that. 

Sorry to hear all this. I went through a similar process . In fact still going through it. This ear problem is a real downer. Things that helped me was to rule out any infection and blocking of ear due to build up of wax.

​I took antibiotics which helped but the nerve was irritated so still had some pain which was driving me mad!

​Anyway my GP said it was a Eustachian Tube dysfunction. This did clear up of its own accord. Now I am very careful NOT to clean my ear out. I avoid using cotton buds etc just leave the ears alone.

I also avoid these ear thermometers that nurses, drs and paramedics are fond of just sticking in ones ear. These mechanisms have helped to stave off any problems but it does take time and the fear of it returning can be overwhelming at times.

All in all I just leave my ears alone and avoid getting water in them as well.

Take care you will get there.

xxx

It’s a weird mechanism but I truly recommend using dating apps to make friends! I’ve used it and although my anxiety prevents me from going forward with any relationships it truly helps get me out of the house! Try and find events around you going on, and encourage yourself to strike up conversations with people. Things like local fresh markets, concerts (I prefer small ones to limit sensory overload), and fun local events (grand openings, etc) help. You’ll see results of varying success, but in time I promise! As always, I’m sure people on this forum would love to talk to you (: keep your head high, and maybe even going to like a group therapy would be helpful! I just thought of that, and I think it would be so helpful in every way shape and form for you!!! (: