It's a beautiful day in Perth isn't it Michael. Definitely nice day for a late breakfast. Sounds like you're doing well. Day 3 for me is when the worst of the physical symptoms stay happening and it's very tough physically. It's good that the loperimide is helping somewhat, because I think any help in the early days is worth looking at.
I think this is the furthest I've ever got, but I think that's because like you said, the choice has been taken away from us.
I've even had thoughts about continuing taking codeine, but at a much reduced rate to avoid restriction through chemists. So ridiculous, but my addict mind is still hard at work trying to get the drug.
you won't be able to take enough to get addicted again and tolerance will soon stop 4 panadeine extra a day being felt. Because they will quiz us to bits if we take 8 a day and buy a packet every 5 days. Imagine taking 4 a day now. Wouldn't feel it for longer than 20 mins. Was a time when 4 had me happy all day.
Under the new rules you will never get addicted.
Good luck. I know from reading I am a quick recoverer. I have bipolar and in my mid 50's after a train wreck 10 years starting at 35 I am on good meds that mean I stay pretty stable when I withdraw. With my illness there is no way I could cope with withdrawal depression otherwise.
Those of us who rely on codeine or whatever doc are fragile creatures (to an extent) and we need to look after ourselves.
By the way I lost one very good marriage to drugs and my bipolar symptoms so I have not told mysecond wife. In my view it is a personal fight she won't understand or tolerate and I am too old to introduce trust issues into the relationship but that's me at 54 and no longer a parent. I understand your desire to tell your husband.
Feeling very blah today, and I have found the cravings very tough. I'm hanging in there though...barely. Hope everyone is hanging in there.
Can't say I feel great this morning, actually pretty recording I would relapse now.. 3 months ago I'd have stopped at a chemist on the way to work. Price line was the last chemist to go real-time and I could buy real time today as it is 7 days since I did a recorded buy. But with every one recording now I'd do 40 tabs in 36 hours and be right back where I was om Monday feeling real sick. So we soldier on.
Hi Michael, thanks for sharing your personal story about your bipolar and previous marriage.
It's tough isn't it. Addiction permeates every part of your life, and withdrawing can be extremely hard.
Keep strong, you're doing an amazing job.
Hi Wilro,
Did you end up having a chat with the pharmacist? Hope you're going well.
Hi ellenbe,
I haven't spoken to him yet as he was extremely busy the other day. I did argue (nicely) with 4 pharmacies yesterday and eventually got something using my passport and a fake address. It's getting much harder though. I've been outright banned at one pharmacy (notes on my record not to supply) I was up all night thinking about the next steps. Today I'm going back to the pharmacies I went to yesterday to get the names of the pharmacists. Not sure what I'm going to do with the information yet but I'm thinking about it. The real time recording isn't law yet, it's a voluntary system recommend by the pharmacy guild. You can't just throw thousands of people into withdrawals without a support system in place. It's not right
Totally agree with your sentiments. Did they think people would just magically stop and all would be well if they just up and stopped supplying?
That's my biggest problem with these new changes. There was no support system in place.
Can you keep trying to find a doctor who has some knowledge on addiction and may be prepared to put you on codeine phosphate tablets and put you on a slow taper? I ended up going CT and it still continues to be awful, and I expect it to stay this way for a while yet.
You will get through this. Perhaps this was the catalyst we all needed to kick start us into reclaiming our lives.
Let me know how you get on. We're definitely in this together and I absolutely feel your pain.
So, day 17 today. Um, what can I say. Not great. I can say this though, if not for the new restrictions I would have relapsed so many times over. From a personal perspective I don't know if I love the restrictions or hate them. A bit of both probably. I have taken N+ twice over the weeks, but in much smaller doses.
I think there is something fundamentally wrong with me. Depression, anxiety...who knows. All I know is without the codeine, I'm just faking the day and finding no joy in anything. My logical side tells me that's normal and will gradually improve in time. My emotional side feels lost and alone and feels that there is no end in sight to this daily hell.
I'm hanging in there.
Ellenbe you are showing so much strength, much more than me at the moment. Even though I've gone cold turkey about 4 times over the years I'm struggling the most this time. I went to another pharmacy today who refused to supply me. I must have visited more than 30 pharmacies in the last month. I just hate my life when codeine isn't part of it. I take medication for depression and anxiety but that's not enough to keep me going.
I hate this life of codeine addiction, it started for legitimate reasons after teeth and back problems.
I called my trusted pharmacist 10 minutes ago to tell him I need to chat later today.
At the moment I'm adding up the numbers of people struggling with the new rules and will present them to the pharmacy guild supplying names of pharmacists refusing supply.
Ive seen 4 doctors now who have refused to help unless I enter an inpatient system which is not practical for everyone.
I'm recording names of doctors and pharmacists who refuse to help with the intention of making a claim against them. Including the pharmacy guild.
The whole situation is a mess and someone needs to be Accountable.
Right now I'm seriously considering heroin or meth which is far worse than codeine. The people who made these decisions are out of touch and ilinformed
So I've just sat down with a trusted pharmacist for the last hour talking about the new rules.
1. It is not illegal for a pharmacist to supply codeine products to anyone.
2. Supply must be limited to the daily dosage recommendations. For N+ 30 per 5 days
3. At this stage the real time monitoring is to gather data for the government who will decide whether to reschedule codeine products to prescription only.
4. The reason pharmacists are hesitant to supply now is due to their own personal integrity and fear of repercussions.
5. I did get a supply today after buying some yesterday and the day before (just part of the game)
6. Codeine will end up being prescription only.
7. My pharmacist is more supportive than the last 4 doctors I've seen.
Finally, I'm not advocating for continues use of N+ the fact I still take it after being rushed into emergency surgery for a perforated stomach and intestine (the most painful experience in my life) shows my stupidity.
I'm now booked in to see an addiction specialist (pharmacist made me do it today) so hopefully things will start to look up in the future
Oh and apparently there are a lot of pharmacies who are considered dodgy who are not implementing the real time monitoring. I was unable to get and names from the pharmacist though. Real time monitoring is not regulated by law at the moment. Pharmacies can choose whether to opt in.
I will link some documents later straight from the pharmacy guild website detailing the rules
Hi Wilro, thanks for keeping us informed and providing the information. Thank goodness a pharmacist was receptive to your situation. When are you booked in to see the addiction specialist? Hopefully soon, any help is welcomed at this point I'd imagine.
Please, please, please do not consider harder drugs as an alternative. I know it feels like you're being backed into a corner and have few options, but there just has to be a better way?
I know you said being an inpatient is impractical at the moment, but is it completely unworkable? A month or two seems workable if it helps to save your life. Easy for me to say not knowing your personal situation, but at the very least don't be completely closed to the idea. Let the ulcers, perforations, endless chemist trips be a thing of your past. You've been down this path before, and I have no doubt you're stronger than you give yourself credit for.
I took more last night. It's just a nightmare. The constant cravings are so hard to ignore and I ended up caving. However, today is another day and I will NOT take any pills.
Keep in touch, we are in this together.
Hi ellenbe,
The inpatient solution for me is based around shame and work requirements. Even though the inpatient process is for a week or two and my whole family except my day knows my issues I still have a lot of personal shame around it. My wife supports me doing it though.
I need to get a referral to the specialist from a doctor next week but I called them during my visit to the pharmacist yesterday to prove I was serious about the process.
Either way my codeine supply is limited. I didn't say yesterday but I made a deal with the pharmacist (I've been seeing this guy for ages and he picked up early on that I have a problem) that I would not go anywhere else to get codeine and for him to put a note in the new system for all pharmacies to see that says not to supply me any codeine products unless I have a prescription. Also, to contact this particular pharmacy for more information. They will supply me at the rate of 30 tablets every 5 days for legitimate pain (which is true in my case due to herniated disks and major tooth issues) only while I am under the supervision of the addiction specialist.
For me, this solution forces me into direct action for my addiction which I'm fine with because I'm over it. In saying that, as I travel around a bit for work the addict in me will probably try my luck to find a dodgy pharmacy who doesn't record during my travels across the city and suburbs.
This whole situation is ridiculous, I don't want this any more for me or my family. I was a much better, more productive and successful person before this addiction started.
I'll update here with the information I get from the addiction specialist. Not blowing my own horn but I've been told by a few doctors and pharmacies that I have a better understanding of certain drugs then they do to the point of me emailing doctors about treatment options for depression and anxiety which they have said ok to based on information I have provided them. Sometimes I think I'm their worst nightmare as I'll dedicate weeks to learning about individual drugs so I can challenge their diagnosis.
Anyway, I have to end here as my daughters birthday party is today and I will not miss that
As always good luck to everyone, keep up with challenge, we will get there eventually
Oh, and as of today I will have no supply for another 5 days so this is day 1 for me
When my package from India arrives this will be so much easier but at a cost of $90 AUD per month. Should be here sometime next week. If you want to know what I'm talking about I will PM you but not post it publicly. I fall back to codeine whenever I run out of this. It is not illegal to order online from Australia (yet) and many people use it without any negative side effects. The movie Limitless was based on it although massively exaggerated. Pretty sure someone here ordered it based on my recommending it. He should have it by now, I'm going to chase it up and get his experience. It's something I love the effects of, not addictive and my wife takes some too when I have it.
You just get stuff done when taking it without any other thoughts. There is one serious side effect but ibuprofen can cause the same thing, if you don't get SJS from ibuprofen you won't get it from this. Lookup SJS (Seven Johnson Syndrome) it's the worst case scenario.
Many, many successful people take this daily and have huge results. PM (Personal Message me if you want to know more)
Hi Everyone,
Sorry I have quite a few pdf files and links to various information regarding codeine. When I immerse myself in reading things like this it tends to give me more motivation to address my issues.
Would you all like me to start posting links to this type of information? It's things like codeine addiction research, pharmacist viewpoints on supply practices, doctor and nurses personal opinion both historical and current, codeine metabolisation in the liver, Create (cold water extraction), the law changes and amendments in Australia from current to about 2006, and a whole lot of other data regarding codeine use, actual documented pain relief comparisons etc.
It will take me a little while to put it all together in the correct categories so I don't want to waste time if no- ones interested but even if only one person is interested in reading it I'll do it.
I'm the type of person who can be immersed in study which takes my mind off my issues so I do tend to read a lot.
Also, has everyone who's commented here read my whole story of endless gastritis and eventual stomach perforation? Should I type up a full review of the damage I've done to myself physically, financially and emotionally, including years of anti depressant use (basically every product available) including combination use of pharmaceutical drugs and pushing the absolute limit of things like California Rocket Fuel (a combination of AD Meds, supported by a doctor).
Wow, this post is getting long but I'm not thinking about codeine while typing it. I guess I could set up a blog or something. I've probably got enough stories to keep me going for a while.
While all this crappy stuff (which also includes stories of suicide and murder within my life)
Not by me.
I've managed to hold down high profile senior technical roles in IT all over Australia and somehow keep limping along.
Wow, actually I'm bored, home alone, and obviously ranting. I'm half way through a bottle of red wine though which is probably to blame for this post.
Anyway, day 2 for me tomorrow with zero change of getting any more codeine since I asked my pharmacist to blacklist me complete in the real time recording system. I've got 200 Loperamide tablets and will start taking 20 tomorrow, 20 the next day, then 15 per day for a week while taking metamucil daily so my bowels don't shut down completely.
I'm going to stop here otherwise I'll e D up with a novel by bedtime.
Take care everyone
Sorry for the rant
Wilro, I'm on holidays with terrible reception. Will reply in full in a day or 2. I would definitely appreciate any links to the information you have.
I think you would be very brave to document and share your personal story. I would be honoured to read it, and it would also be a warning to others to address their addiction before any permanent physical damage occurs (if they can possibly help it).
Hope your daughter's birthday went well. Keep talking, keep writing, do anything to keep your mind distracted from the withdrawals.
Take care and we'll talk soon.
Oh, and no tablets for me today. Only thought about them around about 436 times today.
Hi ellenbe,
Thanks for your kind words. I will write something up. I think it will help me to actually take a step back and assess some of the decisions I've made over the years.
I sent an email to my good pharmacist a few hours ago asking if I can do some volunteer work there once a week for a few hours as I think it would be good for me to be in that environment and keep learning more. I really want to try and help people from making the mistakes I have over the last 6 years.
It's a sh*tty path that no-one should have to walk un-necessarily. Your posts have actually given me a lot of motivation ellenbe. You seem like a really good and genuine woman and I honestly wish the best for you and hope you end up having your husbands support. Until then you have e mine 100%.
My daughters birthday was great and I'm sitting in bed now with my wife and kids enjoying each others competition.
I hope you enjoy your holiday with your family and will talk more next week.
Take Care and look after yourself