I could really use some advice today and help. I feel like I am alone and no one else is going through this. I was on 20mg of Citalopram for 8 years. 2 months ago I decided to stop taking it Cold Turkey. I know that is not smart and worst decision I could have made but I did it. Anyways I felt great for the first month and a half no anxiety or depression. Then after a night of drinking I started to get this weird feeling in my head and just a lot of anxiety and feeling spaced out. I rubbed it off and kept going. I think hit rock bottom one day while at work at havent been the same since. I am in a constant worry about my health and that I am dying. I have been feeling like this now for two weeks. It's hard to describe the feeling I have in my head but will give it a shot. It's a constant feeling of feeling very out of it and not in my body. Feeling like I am going crazy and just watching my body slowly die. I often feel very confused and my memory is bad. I try concentrate and just can't because I am always thinking something is wrong. I wake up sometimes in the morning just confused and freaking out thinking I finally lost it. I did see a doctor and she could tell I was very anxious and got me back on 20mg Citalopram for a week and a half and now 40mg for the last 5 days. I have seen some improvements where I am happy and feel myself but they are short lived and I am immediately back freaking out and wondering what is with me. I have this feeling in my head for almost the entire day so that is why I don't think it is anxiety. Can anyone please help or share their stories of a similar experience? I have done a lot of research on Depersonalization. Could it be that? Will the citalopram ever kick in or will this be forever? I am 27 and can't continue living like this. I have missed a lot of work and just want to lay in bed all day because I a freaking out.
Hi Yadeed
Poor you this sounds awful. We are all in the same boat please don't feel alone depression is more common than you think. I have a fear of having a heart attack and passing away from being so depressed i know this is so silly and worrying is making things worse lately I have tried to drink more eat better and be less stressed although my new job is pretty stressful as I am pretty much everywhere.
You think this is more than anxiety because your mind is playing tricks with you. Try to keep busy and talk as much as you can sometimes I am completely switched off to people and they must think i'm rude I hate that.
Try to go to work i know it is easier said than done I really struggle to complete each week at work I can drive home crying but i know this is better than sitting in all day. I find it hard to get out of bed too but push yourself. The medication may take another week to kick in mine took two
keep going
Lor xx
Thanks Lor. This is something I wish upon no one. I just want to go back to being my old self and happy. I am always worried and thinking something is not right. I sure hope the medication starts to kick in soon. I live in a state that is far away from my family and don't know anyone out here so I am usually in my house by myself just worried. I try to take my mind off it and just cant. It's a terrible cycle because I don't feel well enough to go out and do anything.
Hi Yadeed, I've sent a PM.
It's early days for being back on tabs so what your experiencing is likely to be side effects and anxiety symptoms. Unless your diagnosed with depersonalisation syndrome it's unlikely you are, anxiety and it's bedfellow depression can make you feel out of it.
The Cit will kick in just give it a bit more time.