Hi.
I am very new to this.
Me and my partner went abroad just over two weeks ago. Since being there and coming back my body has suffered severe physical and mental stress.
Since the minute we got back into England I could not calm down it's almost like i was still in Italy terrified to get on the plane. When I got home it just didn't seem real. My legs were shaking i was having panic attacks. So the doctor prescribed me diazepam. This calmed me down for a couple of days but it was still there in the back of mind. Since then i went to the doctors and they have prescribed me citalopram today will be the 9th day. And yesterday I went for a stress managment/ hypnotherapy session And will continue to do this. The thing I am concerned about is that everyday I am waking up and I can't remember what it's like to feel 'normal' and I don't feel like me at all. It's as if the world is passing me by and I'm just getting through each day. When I'm talking to people or interacting with my two young children it all seems pretend! Because it's just constantly there, this feeling of dread and numbness! I feel like I've lost myself. What was i like before all of this?! I woke up and went about my day without all this negativity.
Basically I just want reassurance that by taking anti depressants and going for therapy is going to get me back to my old normal self?!
Has anyone experienced this?!
Yes, medication should help.
Meanwhile have you had any blood tests before starting medication (FBC, thyroid function and iron +iron stores and liver function would have been pertinent).
Do you have prior history of anxiety/depression or were there any signs before your trip or did this all start just after you returned?
Thank you for replying I thought I sounded weird!
I have suffered in the past with depression when I was 15 to 17 and the doctor told me I was on citalopram then but I don't remember it so much and seemed to bounce back a lot quicker.
Although I did suffer with insomnia but more because I was scared to sleep.
Since then I have been ok despite a lot of things happeneimg these past two years. and able to manage my feelings.
I am actually going for blood tests this morning. I guess they've done it backwards but I think the doctor thought I was so anxious so he prescribed me with anti depressants.
Like I said since being in and back from Italy I haven't been the same 😭
Not weird at all. Classic anxiety but extremely rapid escalation - this is why I asked about prior history.
Just noticed something in the original post: ""it's almost like i was still in Italy terrified to get on the plane"
The plane - was it a trigger?
Yes it must of been because I was fine before we went. Everything seems so different now and I know it could be the effects of the citalopram but I just don't see a way out right now. I know it's early days yet but it's so over whelming and trying to muster up the energy or desire to do anything is difficult. I'm worried that my children are gonna start to notice.
I just don't feel like myself anymore and that's the hardest thing to deal with.
Your brain is in overdrive so you can't connect. It adds to the sensation of floating away/losing touch. It is a protective mechanism adopted by the brain to help distance you when you have taxed it with too much information/emotion or general daily overload. However, the anxious brain also blows things out of proportion so while it is numbed in some areas, the ego fights the process it finds threatening. You are not becoming 'someone else'. You are temporarily out of balance. You are not going crazy. You subjected yourself to some subtle trauma and triggered something that was already unstable in the past. It helps if you understand that it is similar to being ill. I always use the flu example. And treat yourself as such. Rest, liquids, sleep and gentle activities. 2 weeks or so should do the trick. Medication will take some adjustment so you have to make some allowance for that as well. Rapid escalation usually means easy recovery - unless you were unwell for a while without admitting it to yourself. But still. It all sounds very regular. Other than the rapid escalation into notable anxiety response. And whatever the kids notice is not the end of the world - act as if you have the flu. Please avoid guilting yourself now and adding unnecessary pressure. Give yourself a couple of weeks to regroup.
Take it easy. It feels worse than it is. On some level it is a shift that was likely necessary for better functioning. Think of it as your mind upgrading itself - not destroying itself 
Because it is true. x
Please make sure they test thyroid and iron levels and stores especially. These can trigger anxiety symptoms. Liver function test is advisable because of medication - please do not discontinue medication the moment you feel better. Cooperate with your doctor and follow guidance. A proper course of therapy will reduce the likelihood of future relapse. x
Thank you so much. This reply has helped a lot. I have spoken
To another doctor today and she was lovely. She says that the medication will start to kick in and that I'm getting over the worst of it. She has also advised me to set a goal everyday because at the moment I have zero motivation. I can't even bring my self to listen to music and I loved music 😩 I know I have to help myself to do I am going to try but also be kind to myself.