Recovery stories to give others hope ;)

Mental health
1

Hello all.

I wanted to start a thread for people who are recovered or well on the way to recovery to share there stories.

I feel it's a great way of letting others know that you where once in a dark scary place,that depression and anxiety once ruled your life but you overcame it. 

Everybody gets a sense of reassurance and hope from others that have suffered and come out the other side. 

There are far too many stories on the Internet that just drag people further into despair because usually people only post on forums when they themselves are struggling and living the nightmare. When we read these stories we lose a little hope. It doesn't even enter our heads that the success stories are probably many but people once they come through depression/anxiety are to busy being happy,living life and wanting to forget about this horrible stage in there lives to take times out to write about the fact that they beat this.

I just want people to have a little hope that things can and do get better and I'm hoping you guys will help xxx

2

Hi Gillian,

I think its a great idea to talk about recoveries and the fact that there is light at the end of the tunnel we call depression.

I have have always battled anxiety and depression and been about as low as a person can get

I felt so disconnected with everyone and everything and wanted to be like everyone else "Normal".

Anyway to cut a long story short I was feeling extremely miserable and took myself a walk in the park.

On my way home I Saw my perfect neighbour I hoped she hadnt Seen me but she had and insisted on us walking home together.

She had a perfect husband, perfect kids. Immaculate home and the sort of looks and figure any woman would kill for.

I was feeling like I wanted the ground to open up and swallow me. I smiled and put on a face the sort you do when people ask how you are and you give the automated response Thats expected of you.

When I asked how she was she said her house was being repossesed in the New Year, her husband was having an affair and she had tried to kill herself three weeks ago. 

I couldnt believe my ears because she seemed to have everything anyone could want. I dont know what promted her to confide in me that day but knowing others were struggling with thier issues made me feel less alone and more willing to take on my own demons.

I am taking things one step and one day at a time. Its a bit like a baby Learning to walk.Some days I feel like I have landed on my backside but the next day I get up and start again. Its not easy but gradually my good days are beating my bad.

When you accept that no-one and nothing in life is perfect and everyone gets depressed or down at times it makes  you feel less alone.

Happy Christmas

Jo xx

3

I do agree that it's important to highlight the fact that people can - and do - 'recover' from the difficulties and problems of depresson / anxiety. And it would be great to read about people's experiences of this ... this can be inspiring.

As for me, I've found my problem to be rather cyclical. Every few years something will trigger a bout of severe depression. Then time passes, and I 'recover'. I feel much better about myself ... and then, a year or two later, it all happens again.

My anxiety problem is more 'fixed'. I try to manage it by living a life that avoids those situations which cause me anxiety. It's when I fail at this - and when others force me to interact with the wider world - that I get severely depressed.

But for most of the time I'm okay. When I'm down, I hope to become okay again. I think true 'recovery' is not something that can happen for me. But I do think my life can certainly improve - and I hope this happens.

I'd appreciate others - who've gone thru similat things - to contribute and say whether they have actually managed to recover. This would certainly give me hope!

4

Hi Gillian...That is so good to have brought this to our attention.Because we do very much need to have some hope that things can get better instead of simply focusing  the despair we all feel at times.A great way to bring on the new year.Thanks Gillian x  x  x

5

I think this applies to me.  After 20 years of being on lots of different anti depressants, and being really, really low, I think I may be improving.

I had a long fight with depression.  Overdose, psychiatric hospital, lost job, house, relationship.  Never thought I would be where I am today.

Whenever I stopped anti depressants before depression always returned within a few months.

Last year over 10 months I slowly withdrew from Effexor.  So far 16 months without medication - longest it has ever been.  I am doing pretty well.  I battled and fought for so many years.  I am a senior citizen, and am not a strong person.  I get stressed very easily.  I get mild anxiety now, but not depressed.  Yes have ups and downs, but not that deep dark pit any more.

I consider myself a success story.

Anne

6

Hi Gillian

I think your idea is awesome and I agree with your reasons.

I have suffered from severe depression, panic attacks, anxiety and I have had some serious life pressures. However I have been fortunate to have not only asked meekly for help in the beginning after trying in vain to manage alone, but have later demanded help whenever I have needed it, once I realised it was available. LOL!

As a result of my expectations that help is required for me, I have been to a psychiatrist and counselling and had two very empathetic, caring GPs who have really worked with me to get every available treatment. My advice is you do not have to live a horrible, dark, scary, isolated life just because of a mental illness. It is not shameful. It is an illness from which you will recover. But you will need support from people who are trained to treat depression and anxiety.

I have had to try a few antidepressants before I got the right one for me. I have been hospitalised and taken high doses of benzodiazapam while becoming stable. Within 3 weeks of getting help I began to think like a normal person again and within a year I was completely happy and stable, regardless of all my personal pressures.

I went on to get a university degree, had a great career then set up and ran what became a multi million dollar business. I am now retired and have had a rewarding and fulfilling and successful life. For 30 years I have been taking antidepressants. The medication and supervision and counselling have allowed me to live a normal and exciting life.

I am only now weaning off prescription medication and hoping to manage on natural supplements. My life circumstances now mean I have no responsibilities beyond myself and my capable husband, and a life of leisure, so I feel I just may be able to take this next step.

Never give up. Never stop hoping or fighting to be well again. If you could have seen how bad I was and where I have ended up, you would be absolutely amazed. If I can do it....Anyone can!

Thanks for reading my story.

7

Wow. Some amazing and inspiring stories. Mine goes back to being age 15 when I had what I considered to be my first episode which I overcame and lived a normal happy life.

My trouble is I don't ask for help and I'm very independent so when I was 21 and my son was born I was a single mum, running the home and working 2 jobs and studying. It all took its toll,I didn't see the signs....just one day as I went to set out of the door to pick him up from nursery, I was overwhelmed with fear,couldn't step out of the house. I rang my friend who collected him and by the time she reached my house I was a complete mess. I'd had a nervous breakdown. I tried to get by over the coming weeks but I wasn't coping. It was alien to me. I always coped. I rang the hospital and my parents to come and get my son and spent the next 6 weeks in a lodge for people with a variety of different mental illnesses. I remember the staff being amazing but it was the other patients that really got me through. They where suffering in a way I could never imagine with mental illnesses that where with them for life yet they helped me. 

When I got well I was stronger and better than ever but more aware of myself and how I knew I was vulnerable to these things so I became gentler with myself, asked for help more,tried not to overwhelm myself.

Over the next 14 years, I was great, positive that I would never suffer like they again. I had a few little blips but caught them in time before they became anything serious. I was proud at my ability to do this. I was more content than ever.

The last 3 years I kind of forgot and with forgetting also made me forget to watch myself so yet again, I was working 2 jobs, running the home, looking after family as well as not giving myself to overcome and heal from personal experiences . I was like a robot. In control. Strong.

Looking back over the last 6 months. All the signs where there to warn me of my latest breakdown. I was just to busy to notice and then it happened. 20 weeks ago it hit again....more frightened and out if control than I had ever felt in my life. 24 hour anxiety. Fear of everything.

Here I am now. 20 weeks on and finally seing my way out of this. I'm having moments of joy and laughter and its getting better and better each day. It's been a long,frightening road. I honestly never thought I'd get back from this one but I am. I'm doing it. I'm getting there .

I just want people to know that we all think that this wont ever go away... That we will be the one that won't recover..,,,but there is always hope.

Thankyou so much for sharing you stories. I love reading them. Please keep them coming. And for all you guys at the worst stage of this...please do t ever ever give up because recovery or changes in the wry you think can literally change from one day to the next. Tomorrow could be that day xxx

8

Hi

Gillian your story makes me think about all the people I have known who suffer from anxiety and depression, and we have had similar characteristics to you. We consider ourselves weak and pathetic compared to the rest of the world, when we are in the abyss that is mental illness. Yet we have strong, capable and driven personalities which makes us overly independant, overly responsible and have high expectations of ourselves. We also have a tendency to be highly critical of ourselves for not being able to cope, when we actually take on and do more than most others. I envy the cruisy laid back people who care less about being responsible and independant than we do. Perhaps we are too demanding of our emotions and try so hard we can never measure up, and thats why we crash over and over. In my case I just kept taking the meds and needing psychiatric support, but I still wouldnt stop driving myself as hard as ever to be as good at everything as I could be.

Can you see a pattern?

Maybe the answer is to trust your body and mind to tell you when to chillout and take a rest before we get sick and to forgive ourselves for not performing to our own standards. Change our standards, lower the bar and pace ourselves and stop being so hard on ourselves when we fail. Life should be as easy as we can make it, if we want to stay healthy in mind.

Worth thinking about. How do others feel?

9

I think more recovery stories are need. I think as people recovery they tend to move on with their lives and as such we never hear their successes

10

Although I don't think I'm ever recovered from depression, I have not had an episode in years. This is partly because I know I have depression and that it is not my fault as much as it is faulty wiring in the brain. Once I relinquished control over depression and gave it to a Dr. I trust and to medication that corrects the imbalance I'm fine. I do think talk therapy had it's place but what I got from that is to let the past go and live in today. Forgiving those that hurt me was a lot of work but no more dragging that heavy rock of resentment with me anymore.

Time is also a wonderful thing because as I get older I don't sweat the small stuff as much anymore and I have mellowed. I know that everything is going to be ok as long as I get up each day and put one foot in front of the other. I'm glad I didn't give up or commit suicide because I would have missed out on so much good stuff that makes life worth living.

Fear is no longer, "F Everything And Run". I can face fear today and accept things that might frighten me. I can walk away from people, places and things that are not good for me just because I think I'm worth more then that. This took time and a lot of work on myself to give up bad habits I used as crutches. I learned to like myself the way I am and accept life on life's terms, not mine. Self medicating and running away with alcohol, drugs or bad relationships is not the answer. It is in facing whatever the problem is and doing the next right thing. So very simple really but so hard to do until you just begin to do it and realize it is the easier, softer way.

If I want to do things my way instead of the right way I will end up depressed, unhappy and and miserable or I can take my antidepressant, listen to my shrink and feel better. A no brainer really. I have every reason to be depressed right now because of health issues but so far I am ok with it. Acceptance is the answer to all my problems today.

I hope this helps someone who is depressed and thinks it is impossible to fix. I am 51 and my depression is in remission for decades now because I take care of it. If you are losing the battle go to a good doctor and ask for help, take the help and do what he says. Give it some time and you will recover from your depression.

Best of Luck, Kelly

11

I certainly agree with you Abella.

I thought I had all bases covered,that I would spot the signs but I got complacent and let it slip.....

I won't make that mistake again.

When I am totally well my main priority will be my mental wellbeing for the sake of myself and my family. This hasn't been easy on them at all and I'm sure they would rather have a Gillian that doesn't do so much for them but is healthy.

I miss my family. This thing takes you away from them mentally. You can be in the same room yet feel a million miles away. They are my life and I will do all I can to get back to them,better than before.

We are all so strong. I don't know many people who could endure what us guys have and not only survived but where gracious enough to try and help others through the worst of this.

 

12

You go girl. Your children love you unconditionally, even when you are unwell, just as much as you love them. I know how hard it is to feel isolated

even when you are in the same room as your nearest and dearest. Thats why this forum helps so much because we understand and have been where you are now.

Youve done the recovery before. You know you can do this.

You are strong enough to get through this and wise enough to make sure you never go back!

13

I posted a success story here, but over Christmas had a set back, and so disappointed.  I honestly thought depression was leaving me alone.  sorry to post this, but does depression ever really go away? 

14

I think it does Anne. In fact I'm certain it does. I had 14 happy years without depression and anxiety hanging over me and although I am now in the grasp of a episode...I really do feel that I could of avoided it if I'd of only recognised the signs...which I should know by now.

Setbacks happen...People go months feeling great and then maybe have a couple of days,a few weeks maybe where they feel they have gone backwards. This isn't the case....All it means is that you are still recovering and for a while you have to accept that you may still on occasion have bad times. They are just blips. 

Even people without depression and anxiety have bad times,,,,but because we are still a little vulnerable and unsure,we tend to be a little more sensitive to the days and fear the worst. 

I would just accept that this is just how you feel for now. Try not to analyse it or try to put it right. Just go with it and keep telling yourself that it's just part of the ups and downs of recovery xxx

15

I think it is wonderful that you did not have depression for 14 years Gillian.  I am so sorry that after all this time you are feeling low again.  You were doing so very well. 

I can't even explain what happened to trigger this episode.  I was playing games on Boxing Day with a few people, most of whom I knew, and having a good laugh.  suddently from nowhere, as if someone pulled a switch, I felt myself withdrawing and getting tearful.  No reason to do that at all.  I would like to believe that this is just a setback, and I will get back to an even keel.

I still had anxiety after stoopoping santi depressants, which was my doctor's idea.  It had been 16 months of feeling I was recovering, and bam, here I am depressed again, and for no reason.  does not make any sense to me.  No warning signs, nothing. 

Dear Gillian I know you, yourself, are not well at the moment.  I know you are such a kind and understanding lady who always has such kind words for others here.  God Bless you and may you too feel better soon.

I do hope that you and I are able to write some words that show we are getting better and brighter. 

16

This is a great idea !

17

Anne. I'm doing just fine Hun.

There is another Gillian who you where all responding to on another post who is feeling very low right now...I think she's only been on the forums a few weeks. I responded to her to but I had a feeling that you where all thinking it was me the way you responded to her. It's not me...it's another Gillian  

I have spoken to you many times Anne....I've been on the forums quite a while now and always try to help.

Thats how I can assure you that what you experienced is just a little blip,not even a setback as such....just a few crappy days. Please be mindful that even people without depression and anxiety have crappy days but because we are still a little vulnerable,we tend to panic as soon as we feel that our boat is being rocked early in recovery.

If you just think calmly about it "ok today I don't feel to fantastic but that's ok,everybody has days where they don't feel fantastic"!!!! If you think that way instead of " oh no,it's happening again,I'm going to go right back there where I started"!!!

Its the feeling that accompanies them negative thoughts that make us feel so bad but if you just change that thought slightly to something more realistic,then your kind won't feel the need to panic. It will just accept that you are having a crapoy day but it's no big deal xxx

 

18

Sorry about all the typing errors.  My fingers go too fast!!  Are you sure you are fine? 

Starting the New Year in a positive frame of mind even though I am feeling low.  Yes you are right, everyone has bad days.  Life is a series of ups and downs.  You are such a positive person, well you sound positive, or is that a front? 

On the whole I am not a negative thinker, but I think we get like that when we have a set back.  So it is on with the positive thinking!!

Hope 2015 is a better year for you.  I feel you are like a friend now, and that is a nice feeling.  So many nice people here, which really does help.

Take care.

19

No Anne....I have days like everybody else where I'm scared and think that im doomed. The difference now is that I see a light at the end of the tunnel and I recognise bad days/weeks as just that. I can quickly go from feeling doom to changing my mind set to thinking,ok I feel horrendous but I'm in recovery and days like this will happen for a while. At one time I wouldn't of been able to change this thought process,I'd of been petrified.

I try to be positive for myself and everybody else but it's not a front,it's more from my past experience many years ago and knowing I got totally well and stayed well for many years.....so I can share that experience and give myself and others hope that even from rock bottom,there is a way out of this.

Even when I'm totally well from this episode,I will continue to try and help and reassure others because I know how scary it is,especially when all the stories you read sure negative.

In months to come,we will all be able to positivelycome here and tell others that we made it through. I can't wait for that day xxx

20

I like your thinking that you will be totally well after this episode, as you recovered before.  That has not happened to me.  Yes I have felt a lot better, but not what I would call recovered.  I have good and bad days.  sometimes for days or weeks I feel that depression/anxiety has gone, but then it returns. 

Like you I try to be really positive.  I have been so very ill in the past, that now, what I am feeling, is nothing compared to that.  Yes when we have been at rock bottom, the only way is up, I hope!!!

I do hope you will be totally well after you come through this episode.  Yes you and I hopefully can tell others that there is light at the end of the dark tunnel.  I have been very low, but know I will never be that bad again. 

Like you, roll on that day when you and I can honestly say we are feeling good.