This condition is so complex and affects so many areas of our lives... Does anyone else find their relationships with their partners suffers because of this condition?
I find I have so little energy, and effort to give at the end of every day. Is it just me?
Hi Katharine
After suffering for over 20 yrs and only being diagnosed Aug 2014, I can say my relationship with my husband has not been easy sailing.
Along with family politics and my pains we drifted apart many times. It's only because my husband just didn't know how to help me and felt helpless. Even now since the diagnosis he is still trying to comes to terms with it but is more supportive than ever before.
You need to put yourself first and get your strength back up. Have you tried Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT) that really helped me with my mindfulness of my thought process and then talking over with my husband my needs. Its not easy for them either as they feel no matter how hard they try to understand they never will. It's not the sympathy we want but just the support.
I say one day at a time and be positive and get your partner to find out more about fibro in his own way. Also give him time to absorb the info.
Gentle hugs and hope you both can wotk things out. 
x
Definitely, I was once a fun loving person who loved to get out and socialise. Now I like to be at home and dread having to pull myself together in front of others on a regular basis.
I'm generally in a good made and can have a laugh and a joke but some days I'm very quiet from pain or in tears cos I can no longer take it or sometimes just downright angry at the situation.
I also feel to tired or in to much pain to want the intimate side of things which is very hard on my partner.
He has after 6-7 yrs just started to get it, he's quite understanding now but he doesn't REALLY get it. If he gets a sore back or pulls a muscle exercising he moans a lot like a man does and I do find myself thinking, now imagin having that everywhere everyday for no logical reason, I try not to say that but I have a few times. He does make allowances for me but he doesn't fully understand and never will. I wish he could live a month in my shoes just to see what it's like.
I feel the same about my relationship,it sounds harsh but sometimes I just can't be bothered to make an effort .i feel that sometimes he must think I am a real misery .i suppose for them it's hard because he always says how well I look.i don't know about you but I even put friends off its like too much trouble.its lovely to talk to other people who understand
Hi Kath, yes, and not only in domestic terms friends too seem to think we're not trying hard enough or are lazy. I agree with Bee... good therapy and reorganising priorities is key. If your partner is open to learn you can slowly teach him about this condition. take care. Teresa.
Hi Katherine 81627 Your not a lone where relationships are struggling, my husband has just this miniute informed me of having no idea of what Im going through he said he doesnt understand. Hes left me speechless and upset. all hes bothered about is us being invited to a flaming BQ on sat.Hes seen how ill Ive been and having to have carers in not being able to walk and talk. Hes read up on fibro he knows all the symptoms if he doesnt understand now after a year? just so upset at the miniute. the people you would think would understand dont. the way Im feeling at the min Id sonner be on my own. take care gentle hugs xx
Hi Kath, it came to mind that if people can. if you can mabe couples/family therapy would help navigate the storm. At least to mediate the communication. It's very hard on men.. . women are usually the carers not the other way around. Can't give up! Got to get suppot somewhere! T
Be firm girl: your wellbeing first. Remember the experts saying that people with fibro have a "no" problem. Sleep soundly with the angels. XX
Hi Katherine,
Well, I haven't got Fibromyalgia - but my disorders are very complex, and progressively become worse over the years.
We've just celebrated our Silver Wedding Anniversary 25 years!! Yeh, we reached that one!! 
We been together since 1989, I was diagnosed way before then. We went on and had 3 children, 2 boys and a daughter! Yes, I had energy back then.
We have many, how shall I put it disagreements over the years. We've never got to the point of splitting up, and we always make up anyway.
As you get older, I found things like standing impossible for just a few seconds, but I suppose it depends on you and your partner and understanding them, and what they can and cannot do. It is not like we want anymore kids at our age, well my age, 52 - my wife is 6 years younger than me.
Everyone we meet in hospitals for appointments say they never known such a couple that can have a laugh at their patners expense. To be honest, life is to short as they say, I might be disabled in many ways, but we still have a laugh.
Socializing is another matter, neither of us really do that now - even though, we are giving it another go, but this was because of my doctor's orders! lol
My brother and his wife and child is another case, they are going through a really messy divorce and both of them are supposed to be reborn again Christians, yet if you met them you wouldn't even think he is my brother!! Everyone is surprised, I don't have much to do with either of them, they are both as bad as one another, and tried to bring me into the divorce, which even includes blackmailing, embezzlement, abuse, etc the list just goes on and on. They been married 14 years just, and even that was a mess - personally, I don't think they were capatible in the first place.
My wife cares for me 24/7 - she keeps me in order and well looked after, I couldn't wish for anyone better. 
Regards,
Les.
Yes Katherine, me too.... my relationship is becoming more distant and fractured by the minute....I'm at my wits end and sooo depressed...I don't know what to do anymore. We've been together for 26yrs and I've been ill with FM for the last 3-4yrs (although this could be far longer in actuality). I was finally diagnosed Sept 2014. So I completely understand ...as I'm sure others on here will also.
Just wish I had some pearls of wisdom to impart... unfortunately I don't.
Well maybe this though.....and that's to keep the communication lines open as much as possible.... whenever possible.
Am thinking of you and hoping things get a little better, for you both.
Angie x
Hi Kaz 40,
We meet again, I'll keep it quiet..
Have I ever sent you the BMJ on Fibromyalgia (British Medical Journal) - it's 17 pages on the disorder and is very informative, probably the best edition regarding this disorder. Ask you husband to read it, he will see Fibromyalgia from a very new perspective, not like ones you normally see around the internet, this is written by doctors and professionals from around the world.
Regards,
Les.
Hi les no youve never sent me that but would be grateful if you would. hope are you? congratulations on being married 25 years. Ive been married 11 years but known dave 28 years . take care regards karen
Hi Katharine,
I'm 46 now found out 5/6 years ago I had fibromyalgia, but
took 10 year before they diagnose me,
no it not just you & yes it did take its toll on my relationship that's Definitely a fact why we split, because I went from a fun loving person who loved to get out and socialise, to someone who couldnt be bothered /plus in so much pain .... I didn't want him touching me & he took it that I was rejecting him ......but I found out after I split that I had fibromyalgia!! But to be honest , I wasn't nice to be around at the time....
I'm now with someone who understand to a certain degree but he thinks when I'm having really bad flare ups ( cos as we all know no 2 days are the same),
he doesn't always understand if I'm tears cos I can no longer take pain or sometimes just nasty/ angry cos I can't do things I could use to do( like housework~ could do whole house in a day, now got to do it over 3 days) also feel to tired or in to much pain to want the intimate side of things with him....which is very hard on him, but he say it's nice to cwtch( cuddle) but another time he may say ....
Pull yourself together there's a lot of people worse of than you ... Lol calls it tough love, stop feeling sorry for yourself, He read up about conditions which helped him understand a it more
Now IF I do go out I've got to make sure there's going to be seats Can not stand for long( rather be at home to be honest) he do huff & puff the. Lol, cos I work ( been off for 6 months, but just gone back having to pretend everything's ok & remind myself to pull myself together in front of people on a regular basis( I'm an hairdresser) is hard ... So when I get home really don't want to do anything
sending healing hugs your way xx
Hi Kaz, I didn't realise you were so low, but your not on your own. I think overall I have a really good relationship with my husband but it's definitely not the same as when we met. Gone is the fiercely independent woman who loved the outdoors and sports. Now it takes me all my time to get out of bed some days. Ours is very much a functional relationship rather than the intimate and carefree relationship of old. He is first and foremost my carer and I resent every single ounce of what my health has robbed us of. I know he doesn't understand it either but I'm thankful he doesn't hold it against me either. You know you can talk to me xx
Hi Les, maybe I'm being a little cheeky here but would you send me the BMJ article too please. There are a number of people that I know who really don't get what I'm going through, or others with fibromyalgia for that matter, including my husband. He tries really hard but by his own admission he doesn't understand what I'm going through.
Much appreciated, Lisa
Hi Charlotte; you have put "everything" down that I would have answered....especially re the "intimacy"......my husband says he knows "my body is f....," but still feels that his needs , and yes mine too, need meeting.....but when in pain/too tired (just want to go to sleep/rest), and this is not how our relationship was upto the time when I became inwell.....it only seems to apply to the children, for him...he says to tell them "that I can't do .....whatever they want", but then in next breath, needs me to do what I have always previously done for him.....he is good re the household duties, but there are other times, that I still feel "that he still Just doesn't get it".....and yes to the Point re if he has hurt himself/suffering from the "flu" (which we all put in our list of symptoms"......we certainly hear about the "aches etc"....I have achieved the little that I have, by giving my immediate family (can't be bothered with siblings as they have guilt issues re how I became this way) ...Printouts on any significant info; but, as we all know, that Unless they/anyone has this condition, cannot fully understand, as they do not feel the same....I guess it would be the same with any condition....unless we/they have experienced the condition, none of us would understand their feelings etc??? We have gained empathy for others, but not the Real pain/issues that come with a condition............
Bron
I'm going to tell you ALL, that yes we too have had our hard times...but heading for 40 years of marriage.....seems soooooo long ago that we walked "down the aisle", so I guess you can all understand That, yes, our relationship is certainly A LOT different to then....no too old, just so different.....Bron
Sorry to hear you are not well and problems with your partner think you need to sit down with him and clear the air let him know exactly what you aregoing through abd how its affecting you and ask him to tell youwhat he feels cards on the ground think thats what the saying is gosh sorry i sound like a therapist dont mean to ive seen it and itsclose to my heart women who are not well and tired and partners not understanding hugs to you xx
Hello Bronwyn
I can beat you there, we had our 40th wedding anniversary in March. Yes, then times were so different then. And at that time we only 18 getting married. Now, my eldest grndson is 18 and he would'nt dream of getting married so young. How times change.
Hi Les, hope you are ok. I can beat you there then, we had our 40th Wedding Anniversary in March. Seems so long ago now, our eldest grandson thinks we are very young grandparents.