Rock bottom.... Help

General health and lifestyle
1

I managed to cut down from three bottles of wine a day to two over a couple of weeks.

Friday, I drank two bottles and it hit me like a smack in the face. I dislocated my finger after dancing. I have an unknown bruise on my head. My legs wouldnt work the next day.

Saturday I had to go on a family weekend away with my other half. I decided that I wasn't going to drink wine as I didn't want to embarrass myself. I drank a few bottles of beer and was the only one not drunk.

Sunday I came home and didn't drink until the evening, then I had a bottle of wine.

Monday I didn't feel like drinking until about 7pm (unusual for me) and then I drank a bottle of wine in the evening.

Tuesday I felt rough so drank two bottles of wine. Not good. I ended up going food shopping (I felt hungry for the first time in weeks). I spent way to much money and then didn't eat when I got home. I argued with my husband, something I never do. I was screaming, swearing and shouting at him for no reason. I never swear in front of my daughter. I didn't realise she was in the house as she had been out playing. She came into the kitchen and said, "Mommy. Are you okay? You said a naughy word." I was mortified. This made me even more angry with my other half, that he had made me swear. He hadn't said anything or done anything. I don't know why I was so angry.

I woke up early hours this morning and had that 'oh god, what have I done?' feeling.

It's time to stop drinking. I am going to lose my family if I don't.

My GPs are rubbish. I don't want to go to AA. I'm wondering if anyone knows how easy it is to find a private doctor?  I still work hard so I can pay to go private. I just don't trust the NHS. My dad died because he was at a well known hospital and they gave him too much radiation treatment. He died a day later. My mum was misdiagnosed with depression when she actually had Alzheimer's. My uncle had lung cancer and was told he had a chest infection. We didn't find out he had lung cancer until the autopsy. I don't trust the NHS.

As I said, I'm at rock bottom and need help. I've looked at the online chemists to buy Nalmefene and am happy to pay the price but you need to wait a month before they will prescribe it. Does anyone know where you can get them (other than an NHS GP)?

Sorry for the long post. I was hunting round the house for pills to take my own life last night. Luckily I didn't find enough.

2

Hi

It's easier and cheaper to get naltrexone online.

Quite a few online pharmacys sell it,if you would like some names message me as I think it might get moderated

3

Thanks Nicole. I'll PM you x

4

Just to say, I feel for you.  Not much good, I know, but I can appreciate how you feel.  Please stay strong, and let's hope someone can help <3

5

Thanks Sue. That made me cry. It's nice to know that even though we don't know each other on here, everyone tries to help x

6

I have just PM'd you too, jgbf.

7

Sad to read your post.  But the good thing is you realise you could be destroying your family if you don't stop.  You're determination comes across and I hope you see it through. You have to.  Best wishes to you.  

8

Thanks Joanna x

9

I'm sorry for the loss of your family and all the pain you've had to endure, it's clear that you've been pushed to the edge. I'm thankful that you didn't jump off. 

I think your decision to pursue TSM is a wise one that will serve you well and Joanna is a powerful ally towards this end. It might be helpful to look into some counseling too, not so much for the AUD, but to help deal with your loss and pain. We stand ready to help you with whatever is up, even if it's only moral support, so lean on us too!

10

Thanks ADE. I've had counselling but it didn't work for me. I found it difficult to speak to someone I didn't know about how bad I felt. I've had PTSD for a long time now, since finding my friend after they committed suicide. I'm on medication for that and that stops the night terrors. Unfortunately, one trauma after another, I'm compensating with alcohol. I know this is wrong and I'm fighting to find a way out. Thanks for caring x

11

And you will find a way out. Perhaps take a look at EDMR, I have no experience with it myself, but I understand that VA Medical is using this for PTSD. I hear that it's important to find someone who's properly trained by the institute behind it. Like I say, I don't have any experience with it myself, so treat it as a possible lead and do your research on it if you think it might be for you. That aside, I do believe that getting the alcohol under control will go a long way towards being able to sort the rest of it out, if for no other reason than you're going to feel tons better about yourself.

12

I searched in Google for:

Therapy PTSD 

The top search result was "Treatment of PTSD - PTSD: National Center for PTSD" 

You'll see some info options there that might be helpful.

13

Hello JB,

First off, thanks for your compliment in the other thread.

Secondly, I know that taking your life was probably only a fleeting thought, but please do me a favour and read this short article (and anyone else who flirts with ending their life)

Google 'max pemberton suicide' and read the top result. Max is a doctor and he didn't attempt suicide, but he briefly talks about it. You only need to read down to the first photo and the one paragraph after it. It will take you a minute tops.

When you say it's time to stop drinking, you really mean, you'd still like to drink, but just at a slightly lower level, without it wrecking family life?

I've yet to meet someone on here who says, my GP was great, he knew all about it, all the meds, was really up to date on it and was happing to take on the prescribing himself.

The NHS can be a bit hit and miss, and my advice is to avoid overnight stays because the quality of the nightshift is usually well below the day shift. And I talk from personal experience.

Online chemists are also a bit of a pain in the a*rse, they make you go through the questionnaire, a two week drinking diary and then tell you you should go back and see your GP.

Foreign IOPs are the easiest way to get medication, all though it is more pricey than the UK. I know Nicole has PM'd you details and although it was different medications, we have both used one of the same pharmacies. Hopefully Nicole has let you know costing, mine as I said was for a different medication, and although the pills are cheaper, you have to take six a day, every day. Where as the medications you are looking at, it is only one per each day you drink ( dare I say seven a week) but they are more expensive per pill.

Technically nalmefene and naltrexone are different, but in reality they are the same for all intents and purposes. What some people have had luck with, is getting themselves on naltrexone and then going to one of the alcohol recovery centres and telling them you're on it and it works for you and that is what you want to keep taking, but from a proper UK source. That seems to get round the 'computer says no' answer.

It does as one member so eloquently put it, mean leaving your pride and dignity at the door. But it is a damn site easier and cheaper to get UK prescriptions. And at least two of us on this thread, have had to and are currently having to visit an alcohol recovery centre.

14

I got selincro after alot of time thinking about it-my gp didn't take me seriously (I am a middle class wine drinker). Before a big family dinner I took half a pill which I enclosed inside an empty capsule to ensure correct absorption.Apparently a whole pill makes you feel really sick until you get used to it.

Results:I felt a bit disconnected but I didn't want to drink my wine or smoke.To get you through these family or public social dos selincro will really help but you'll have to accept feeling a bit wierd.If you are saving your reputation to yourself and family that be worth it.I stopped drinking for 10 days after 2 pills, now I am drinking again but half of what I did before.

I see others here are sending the links for buying selincro.

IMPORTANT:Now, you don't have to wait you just have to fill in the consultation correctly.It has been licensed for moderate abusers only!!!

Units per week put only between 30-35 any more and they'll say you have to have different/more intensive care (???)Then fill in a 2 week diary.5-6 units every night.Got mine in 3 days.

You can do it.x

15

Hi Deborah and jbgf and anyone else thinking of using Selincro....

PLEASE read the patient information leaflet that comes with the Selincro before you start taking the medication as it will help you understand how this medication is intended to work.  To answer the points Deborah made.

1.  It is not advisable to break the tablet as this may cause skin irritation to some people.  The dose is 1 tablet, 2 hours prior to drinking.  If you take less than this, then it is possible that the 'door' to closing the endorphin rush is not fully shut and locked.  You need to be sure that the coverage is full or the medication will not work so well.

Yes, there might be some side effects which is the case with a lot of medications.  These pass over the first few tablets.  In the meantime, have a meal before taking the tablet and drink lots of water.  Once your body has adjusted to the tablets, then you will not need to eat anymore.

Until you get used to the medication, take it whilst you are at home.  It isn't nice to be out and about if you do get side effects.

2.  Do not stop taking the medication.  The process to full extinction of your cravings can take some months.  Deborah, you may be in the 'honeymoon' period of the medication where it feels like it has worked because you can stop drinking.  This happens to some people on Selincro.

As a result, you may well find that your drinking begins to return to how it was prior to Selincro.  You must NOT drink alcohol without the endorphins blocked.  This is going to confuse your brain - sometimes it gets the endorphins blocked, sometimes it doesn't.  Extinction of your cravings will not be total and you may make it harder to stop and start the Selincro.

A little like anti-biotics, you need to continue taking the medication even if it appears on the surface that you have control again.

3.  Deborah is absolutely correct about needing to meet the requirments for Selincro.  biggrin

Before asking for it, it is worth reading the NICE guidance TA325 (google it!) and on the very first page it confirms what the criteria is.

16

Hi just like to say hallo, sorry to hear about your family and all the problems with the NHS but unless you can afford to go private 100% is there really any other way ?  Taking tablets just because you have heard the name is maybe not the road to take!

l also don't think cutting down from 3 to 2 bottles of wine was the best idea.

maybe you could try 2.9 and slowly bring it down 2.8 and so on.

Wine from my experience is very easy to drink and could get through it before l knew l was gone in the head.

Tablets are not the answer only WILL POWER and count to ten before you shout at your family.

Good luck