It has been a while since I posted but it has been a really rough couple of days. I have been trying not to run screaming to the emergency room once again. I have been having chest and arm pains off and on for the last 3 or 4 days. As well as epigastric and stomach pains and alternating diarrhea and constipation. None of this is new, I have had all of these symptoms at least once in the past 20 years. I have been diagnosed with anxiety and panic attacks. I have been to the hospital more times than I want to admit and they never do anything while I'm there except tell me that I am not having a heart attack and it is probably just my anxiety again. I do NOT want to go back if I can help it, it is embarrassing and frustrating and I know just feeding my anxiety if that in fact is what is going on. BUT...how do I know it isn't a heart attack this time? I'm being 100% serious, everyone I have talked to, every doctor, everything I have found online says that what I describe to them is classic cardiac and NOT anxiety, that the two pains are actually very different. I don't know if this is true since to the best of my knowledge I have only had anxiety caused pain and not cardiac. All of my cardiac work-ups have come back just fine, even had a heart cath in 2012 and was given the all clear. I experience chest pains on a daily basis, some days I can ignore them and go about my day and others I am pretty much disabled by them, they are so intense. I honestly do not know what to do anymore. I do NOT have insurance, yay me, can't afford it. I "make too much money" and no longer qualify for medicaid so I go to a clinic that is on a sliding fee scale but there is only so much out of pocket I can afford. I have been off all anxiety meds for over 3 years now. I talked to the doctor at the clinic and he can't and/or won't prescribe anything that I have found that works because they are of course controlled substances. He tried to give me zoloft, which I will not take again, and I told him kindly to keep it. I tried it more than once in the last 20 years and it never helped my anxiety and I had some bad side effects from it so not something I am willing to try again. I guess I am writing this more for me just to get it off my chest than to get some actual help. I have tried everything you can think of, if it says it might help anxiety I've done it. Yoga, meditation, herbs, oils, grounding exercises, keeping journals, therapy, you name it I have tried it. And so far nothing has helped me get rid of my physical symptoms. I guess I should add that I have had all kinds of tests done to see if there is anything medical going on that might cause these symptoms. I have had 3 endoscopies and 3 colonoscopies as well as tons of xrays and ct scans and stress tests and ultrasounds, and blood work on top of blood work. Every doctor has said they cannot find anything they think is causing it. I was told I have a small sliding hiatal hernia but no way could it be causing any of these symptoms. I also have been told I have pernicious anemia and have been told it is not causing these symptoms either. I had my gallbladder removed because they thought it might have been causing some of the symptoms early on but that was over 15 years ago and if anything the symptoms have gotten worse not better. Anyway, I am trying anything I can right now to get the pain to let up and to get my mind off it but it isn't working. I just want to end this by saying that for as many times as I have ended up going to the hospital for this there are probably twice as many times that I just didn't go...that I just stayed home crying in pain praying it was only anxiety and not something worse. I'm just tired of those two options being my only options.
hey!! i just found your post. WE are alot alike. we have the same exact feelings and have also been to the er… literally if I count… alone just in the last 3 months… ive gone about 30 times. and thats not including urgent care and gp visits!! Im soo done with feeling this way. It’s a vicous cycle, when 1 fear ends. which can take months and months of obsessions and countless scans, another one will begin. That is the scary part, even though you have the tools to try and ease you and you’ve felt those pains before, no one knows, if THIS time is the ACTUAL time to seek care. It is the scariest feeling. us health anxiety sufferers try and solve the problem before it begins in fear of death. something Ive been trying the last couple days.. that kinda help, is the acceptance of death. I try to be soo much IN control… but realize some things you just can’t. I definitely can relate to you, I literally cryed myself to sleep last night, with the worst heartburn of my life. of course I thought it was a heart attack but at my cardiologist appointment today, he confirmed with a ekg.