My first outbreak just ended 2 days ago, we are trying to have a baby. When is it safe for unprotected sex?
Which type do you have? Does your partner have it, too? Fyi, the only way to know is via testing, as herpes can be asymptomatic. That should be the first step. If he also has it, then it's always "safe", since you are both infected, although you may wish to wait a bit longer, as sex too soon might be painful. Up to you.
If your partner has recently tested negative for herpes IgG antibodies, then it is impossible to know when it is safe for unprotected sex, especially if you have HSV2 (HSV1 is less of an issue). Viral shedding can and does occur without symptoms. Of course, shedding is worse during an outbreak and prodrome, so you can only say when it is unsafe (outbreaks and prodrome) and "less unsafe" (all other times). Daily suppressive therapy greatly reduces transmission risk, however.
I think you first need to establish your HSV type and your partner's herpes status. If you had a first outbreak, there's a strong chance he also has it and was the one to give it to you.
Hi I tested positive for hsv2 my partner most likely gave it to me if not he definitely has it cause we had sex when my first outbreak started (obviously didn't get to far cause it hurt like all hell) that's when I found out. I'm on valacyclovir.
Okay, so HSV2 is unfortunately the type that recurs more often (in those who are symptomatic) and is more infectious. Although your partner is likely positive (how has he reacted to your diagnosis, incidentally?), it is worth establishing his status officially. If you are both positive, then you do not need to take any special precautions, but avoiding sex during or soon after an outbreak is always good to avoid pain/irritation and support healing.
Regarding trying for a baby, be sure to inform your ob/gyn of your HSV2 status, as you will likely need antivirals in the third trimester and careful monitoring at birth to avoid transmission to the baby.