Hi a bit strange I know but I am 55 with a 16 year old son, having him late in life means that we can give him a good start, but also means I will not be around for his later life. I am not usually anxious but have been since the menopause started and now have a couple of age related health issues. I am so panicked about dying before he at least sets himself up in life where he is settled and can get on without help. He typically say's we all die it's life and stop going on about it he will manage as he has his dad, but it is spoiling my enjoyment of life as I feel that it could also come crashing down any minute. I hate the thought of getting old and try to keep my outlook young. Does anyone know who I could talk to about this, my GP's are a no no as they are too busy to have the time. I have sort of tried, apart from this I am happy and not depressed, but I constantly think about how much longer I will be around, I wish there was some way of knowing. Please do not reply if you are going to tell me I am being stupid because I know how it sounds, I cannot help it.
Hey...you are not being stupid and anybody who says otherwise is not very nice. We all have our own thoughts and feeling. You can to the right place to try and get reassurance. Instead of focusing on the end, focus on the present, as we all can go any second now. My mom had me at 39 as well and she is still here working and very healthy, I'm 37 now. Keep yourself busy and just enjoy your son. Do the things you like and flat out enjoy your life. If you feel it beneficial, speak with a therapist. Other than that have fun, be happy, and don't worry about things you have no control over. God Bless...
I do undertand where you are coming from on this one.
I'm a good bit older than you but I've been worrying since my mid fifties about what will happen to my wife, children and grandchildren when I am no longer around.
I suppose that it has something to do with the fact that everyone has appeared to be so reliant on me over the years that it has now become a bit of a habit.
The only consolation that I get is when I think back to the time that my own parents died and how I had to deal with and come to terms with that.
Did I manage? Well in a word yes I did, but of course they were very sad periods in my life.
In the case of our own dependants, I suppose if the truth be known they will cope, not because they will want to but because they will have to, as we cannot be here forever for them.
That was lovely....
Thanks for that, you are very kind. I know I will be ok, it just sucks being an older mum. Did you find it hard having an older mum? I was 39 when I had mine, perhaps if he had a sibling things would be less of a worry. My husband is great with him and I know they will manage, I just want to be around to see what he turns out like. I just wish he was a few years older and through univ or whatever.
Hi Archemedes, are you my friend from GERD, if so I went to GP today with my concerns, did not even really listen, laughed when I said I was worried about cancer like my mum, but I did get a chest x ray, so that is one step further. Back to my son, my husband works long hours and as I am only part time I suppose apart from the finance side of things I do spoil them and they do get well looked after, but again my husband is able to do things if he is forced to and my son is due to start GCSE's then in 2 years he will be off the uni. I just want to be around to see him through this and see what becomes of him. I was never quite so anxious before I had him, I suppose that is what being a parent is all about. Glad I posted as feel a bit better already.
Exactly my dear, that is what being a parent is all about.
PS. You will be around, so stop worrying about it.
As to whether I am your friend, of course I am, but isn't having a non de plume exciting? - total anonymity - GREAT.
My mom is a great woman as you are. I had no problems, as I was loved unconditionally from her, as you do for your son. What you are experiencing is only natural as you care so much about his well being. Don't be embarrassed or ashamed about your feelings. Like I said earlier let God worry about those things and you, you enjoy your life with your family.
Hi Archemedes yes being anonymous is great you can share your real feelings that family members can sometimes not understand. Hope I did not freak you in saying friend, just meant you have answered another of my posts and been very helpful and that all of us on here are cyber friends.
Good morning Youngatheart.
Of course you didn't freak me out - if I ever want to do that I would just look in a mirror. lol
Like you I try to help others and also be helped by them, and I have to say that I take great comfort in the fact that it works, and long may it continue to do so.
If you ever need to talk privately, just drop me a pm.
Take care.
R x
Your GP is there to have the time to see you if you need to see them. Your problems are just as valid as anyone else's sweetie.x