Scared

Sexual health
1

Hi there,

I think I have herpes.  

11 years ago when I first met my husband, I had some strange bumps downstairs along with a ton of itching and pain, I was convinced they were herpes.  My doctor took swabs and ran a blood test.  Everything came back fine even though that following year I had a ton of discomfort and wanted nothing more than to sit on a belt sander because of the itching.

Fast forward to now.  I've been treated for cancer twice in the last 4 years.  After my last round of radiation I was trying out the keto diet and eating a ton of nuts.  I noticed another weird bump accompanied by lots of itching.  I spoke to a nurse practitioner after and she didn't seem overly concerned with what I described but she did run a blood test which came back positive.  But I also get oral cold sores.

I guess my problem is that if it is genital herpes, I don't know what to say to my husband.  He knew all about the strange bumps all those years ago and didn't seem phased then.  Could it have been herpes all this time? 

What do I say to him after all this time has passed?

2

If it hasn't come back as positive for herpes in the past, I think it is safe to assume it won't now. 

3

The blood test that was done a few months ago came back positive but she said it couldn't determine where I get the sores or which type it was.

4

If you have cold sores then it’s hsv1 and hsv1 can be oral and also be genitally as well.  

5

I just don't know what to tell my husband.  I don't want him to leave me.  He's been my support through all the cancer bull****

Moderator comment: I have edited this post due to the swearing. These are open forums so as per the T&Cs please do not use offensive language in posts otherwise they may be deleted.

6

Is it possible that it was dormant all these years and triggered by my cancer treatment?

7

Hi, thats very possible.  Herpes can come out at any time when your immune system is at its lowest. Radiation & chemo is known to cause damage internally including one's immune system. Im surprised at the fact that you had all the symptoms of herpes 11 years ago & results came back positive. The best thing is to just be honest & don't be afraid. With everything you just mentioned I don't see how he would be now all of the sudden now.

8

I mean to say * I'm surprised at the fact that you had all the symptoms of herpes 11 years ago & your results came back negative*

9

Ughh type 's . * I dont understand how he would be mad all of the sudden now*

10

Yes, you probably got hsv1 cold sore from when you were a kid and didn’t even know. 

11

You can get coldsore/hsv1 from sharing a drinks or kissing someone who is infected and the infection is present because that’s when it’s most contagious when symptoms are presents until it’s conpletely scab over and heal completely 

12

I'm just scared of being rejected or that he'll think I cheated or something.  He's been with me and continues to be with me through all the cancer crap and I can't bear the thought of having to do it alone.

Is it possible that it could have been dormant all this time?

In hind sight...I've always had what I thought was frequent yeast infections that actually felt worse after using the treatments.

13

Ive read discussion of other people on here that were in your same shoes that resulted fine & a lot of partners were understanding & still interested. Its better to be honest than have him find out your medicine.  A common symptom of herpes are yeast infections. Herpes can lay dormant for 20 years in an article i read,

14

20 years? That is freaky.

15

Thanks so much for the encouragement.

Do you have any recommendations about how I should tell him?  For sure he's going to need to get tested too...I bet he also has it after 10 years of marriage.