I need help, this is the first time I've ever written this out.
I am addicted to codeine. My secret, the one I've kept for nearly ten years. I've had a repeat prescription of co-codamol £224 which I get every 3 weeks and then I buy the otc codeine if and when I run out.
On Wednesday I went to my doctors and for the first time he asked me about my prescription and why was I taking it (initially for my arm a long long time ago) he said that I should go on tramadol instead and I insisted that I had to stay on co-codamol. He didn't push it even tho inside I wanted him to push it
.. When is it going to end? I've even tried cutting it down by purchasing those weekly pill tubs and putting them in there so I can see how many I have left. Without them I am anxious and stressed and I can't fuction in my life. But they are the evil in my life and I don't know how to go about stopping it.
What is easiest? Going cold Turkey? Cutting them down? I really need advice.
I know people will say go back to the doctors but I really don't want too, I'm too ashamed I just want to sort this out on my own. Thank you for anyone who reads this
Firstly you know yourself you have a serious dependance on codeine. You need to stop these but it's extremely difficult so you need to really commit for example go to doctor tell him your addicted and need this is be noted so you cannot get anymore and ask about tapering your dose over time or maybe go onto a drug therpy programme which im on at the moment which is subutex but this isn't for everyone I had several attempts at getting off codeine eventually an staggered overdose stopped me half assing my problem. So please seek help !!!! Your not alone here everyone tries to help anyone who asks for it but all roads will be a long difficult one so vent as much as possible ! You can do this !!!!
Thank you for your reply, I'm so scared to tell my doctor and the reason is I work in the NHS and I will almost certainly lose my job if I tell them I have an addiction and this will be on my record I don't know if I can tell my doctor can I do it on my own cold Turkey? I know it will be hard but If I don't die from it then maybe it will be the best way to do it?
But thank you for reading I know it is a serious dependance I have just looked at how many pills I have left and trying to count how many I am allowed to take in one day and thinking Omg!
I know exactly how you feel. I have been to my Dr and received help and I was put on codeine phosphate instead of the cocodomo 30/500 and the dose cut safely. However my back pain came back even worse so he put me on Cocodomol 30/500 so I could take no more than 8 tablets a day due to the paracetomol component. However I'm taking 2 30/500s with 3 Nurofen plus at a time (12.8mg) so that's 98.4mg of codeine per dose. I was recently given codeine linctus by a pharmacist for a dry cough (who asked no questions as to what medication I was on and I never realised until I got home that that had 15mg codeine per 5ml dose.) I'm taking that as well inbetween doses of cocodomol and Nurofen plus. So Ive posted in this forum in the hope of advice as well. But I know what everyone will probably point me back to the Drs but do not want to go through that experience again. I would rather go into a rehab centre for 3 months to be detoxed completely and put on something effective but not as addictive type pain killer for my back disabling back pain.
Ps I am to working in a hospital as a registered health professional and feel in the same situation as you. I feel like I will be struck off the register as not suitable to practise as my GP has to update them about any medical issues
Latchy thank you for your reply it really is a vicious circle, my doctor did the same thing, he gave me 224 codeine and 224 paracetamol split up and said to take it like that if I need it and all I've done is take it like that instead of reducing the paracetamol as it doesn't work without it! I want to detox from it all together and never take it ever again. I'm too scared to go to the doctors, this has been going on for nearly ten years and I've made sure not one person knows my secret, I have about 20 pharmacies I go to If I run out and they never question me as I only see them once a month I've never ran out but this month I don't think my doctor is going to give me any before the month is up so I have to be more careful when I take them which means I feel like I need to take them even more!
Gosh yes I know they have too even when they are the ones that have put us in this situation in the first place, I can't go through losing my job to this addiction which is why there must be a way to do it without the doctors help, I have read lots of people who have done it cold Turkey and I am willing to do it as long as I don't die I will go through it, have you ever tried to go cold Turkey? X
I tried going cold turkey and due to the amount of codeine I was taking I started having terrible withdrawal effects, Sickness, stomach cramps awful night sweats, headaches, hurting limbs well it was pure hell for two days! By the time the end of day 2 I had a fit and an ambulance was called and I was rushed to hospital where I admitted to them I was having codeine withdrawal and told them I was taking nearly 100mg every three hours and chewing them for high impact. They promptly gave me high doses of sedatives (chlordiazepoxide or Librium as it's widely known as) to stop me fitting and 90 mg codeine phosphate. I told them I was still with my old GP and they handed me a letter on discharge to give my old Dr which of course I never did, so my Dr was none the wiser. So if you are taking really high doses like me then I wouldn't recommend going cold turkey. Have you thought about rehab like me? I went privately in the past for an alcohol addiction when I was much younger but it cost £48,000. I think the codeine addiction has replaced my alcohol as I haven't touched a drop for years. Rehab centres don't say exactly what you are in for to any health bodies except your own GP to say you are undergoing medical treatment and therapy for addiction.
its not as if we are taking illicit drugs really is it Hopefirst? I wouldn't mind my GP knowing but not the Health Professions Council. For me an NHS rehab clinic I think is the only hope to come off this poison they call a painkiller, but how do I get referred quickly without my Dr knowing (I'd rather him being told by the clinic) I can't afford another £48,000 going privately again as I had to sell my house. And now live in rented. I'd go tonight if I could get in! I'm like you I am desperate. I use about 20 pharmacys as well. Online ones and stores and get people to even go for me like the neighbours. It really is beyond a gps help I think. What sort of doses do you take? Don't tell me if you don't want to or makes you feel uncomfortable putting it on here.
i am just desperate to go into rehab and be free of codeine, it's pure Poison. I've been taking it everyday since 2005! Hope I'm helping you I don't want to frighten you through my experience of cold turkey. It just depends on the dose you are taking.
Thank you so much for telling me your story no it doesn't scare me I actually feel much calmer to know that there is someone in this world that goes to bed worrying about where to get this poison when we both desperately want to never take it again. I will be honest with you, when I sat with my doctor I waited for him to say the words "addiction" but nothing! He was nothing more than the front line of the prescribers who don't think twice about the addiction.
I've never actually written it down how much I take in one go but I will now, those strips have ten co-codamol pills in them? I will take six of them in the morning, then four at lunch, another four mid afternoon, then four when I get home and either four to six before bed.
So that is about 24 to 25 a day which is why a box of 100 is only lasting just under a week, I get 224 a month so by the third week I put in my repeat and go and buy the 8mg.
Wow, is that a lot? 24 to 26 a day of 30/500....
I've never tried rehab but I would try it in a heartbeat if I could, I think my addiction came almost silently, initially it was for a break but when that was over with I would take it to feel calm, then I had a bereavement and now I just can't stop it. It makes me so so so anxious, the more I have the more anxious I am, I almost want to take all of them to get it over and done with (I won't as I always feel like that) I'm sorry you have not found a good support in your own doctor either, I have even thought about leaving my job and doing something else.... How many do you take in one go? X
I take 2 cocodomol 30/500 with three Nurofen plus every 3 hours upto 10-12 a day. With codeine cough syrup inbetween (2-3 spoons so that's an extra 30-45mg codeine). I have thought about quitting my job and going for something less and that is not governed by a professional body. I even take 2 lanzoprazole tablets to protect the lining of my stomach from the ibuprofen. But now have bleeding gums when I brush. I'm dreading the dentist next month. I am just desperate to go into rehab. At my wits end x
I finally managed to get myself off co-codamol at the end of December 2014.
I'd tried cold turkeying it in the past, but withdrawal symptoms were pretty bad and I'd always go back to it. This time though, I gradually tapered the dose down over several weeks (it really doesn't matter how long you take, you should make your own reduction plan) until I got down to one 30/500mg tablet every other day, then every 2 days and so on until I got to 3 days and felt able to cope. I still had some withdrawal symptoms when I went from one level to the next and, although they weren't insurmountable, I actually think if I'd taken slightly longer to taper down, they would have been easier to deal with.
I can't tell you how much better I feel for being off this horrendous medication in all sorts of ways.
Do you think you could try coming off it the same way I did?
I'm pretty sure if in UK anyway that you can self refer to drug treatment programmes on nhs so no need to involve gp but in being honest with yourself your better speaking to doctor so they can stop your supply as in desperate times its an easy thing to go back too. I know you say it's not a good idea as you work in health profession but I'm sure you wouldn't be punished for your addiction. There are laws and guidelines around these things where if you are seeking help then no displinary action can be take unless you have broken the law with you addiction. I see all the talking about tapering and cold turkey but be honest with yourself can you trust yourself if doctor gave you a prescription with 100 codeine on it for a complaint you had as he wouldn't know you have an issue if you havent been honest With them. Also after taking such large amounts of paracetamol you really should have liver function tests to rule out long term damage. Everyone has their own route but your profession shouldn't dictate your health options and your in the profession that would understand the most.
Hi Hope, I feel for you I realy do. My advice to you is in my very humble opinion, and it all depends on wether you have the will power and inner strenght is to go cold turkey. Its will be very very hard for you but for gods sake and yours do not take the next step up and go onto Tramadol you will end up in a worse situation than now.
Please please look to what is in your head its all there your will power etc, you can beat anything and I do mean anything with inner strenght, I have proved it can be done.
Cold turkey is tremendously hard and traumatic but each day gets a little better, I hope this helps, I will look out for your replys and wish you all the luck in the world.
Hi Hope, I have just read through quite a few of the blogs, all of them right depending on who wrote them, but a realy important point for you which was the same for me and why I did it cold turkey was, I have a drug test evry year.
If I had tried to come off CC with my GPs help it would have been on my medicle record that I had a drug dependancy and would have definatly lost my job.
I have a medicle every year with a test even if the test was clear my medicle record would have been enough to loose my job so you can see why I say cold turkey if it saves your career, once again good luck.
I was addicted to the 30/500 co-codamol and finally got admitted to a&e for an overdose. They did all the liver function tests etc and I was lucky in that there was no organ damage but I would definitely re-emphasise another poster's comment that you should get these tests done for your liver, kidneys etc
Going cold turkey for me was a trauamatic experience, it lasted 4 weeks and I had flu like aches and pains, a terrible headache, nausea, diarhea, shivers etc etc. However, it WAS worth it. That was in Novemeber of last year and I am now totally free of codeine and feel like a new woman, both menatlly and physically. I know its different for everyone, but if you've got the courage and will power, I'd definitley recomend cold turkey.
Unlike you. I'm retired so have no employer concerns about it appearing on my records, but again, as soemone else said, you have done nothing illegal and this shouldn't lead to dismissal, if it did I'd reckon you'd have a very strong case at an industrial tribunal.
I hope things are working out for you and know that I'm following your thread and thinking of you in your struggle
xxxxx
p.s., I wouldn't touch the tramadol as I've heard withdrawal from that is even worse than codeine.