I was prescribed Sertraline for anxiety in 2018, starting on 50mg and increasing to 100.
I was on it for 2 years during which time my Mum passed away and also my two elderly cats within 6 months of one another yet I dealt with everything life threw at me surprisingly well. In fact I wondered if I had handled things a little TOO well, I was worried I hadn’t grieved properly.
I gradually weaned off it with my doctor’s agreement, was off it for 7 months but after a couple of months I felt my low mood returning. I put it down to the winter and the lockdown at first and then in March a cat I had rescued and had had for just 5 months became ill and had to be put to sleep. This totally sent me into a spiral of depression and grief, it was as if it opened the floodgates of unresolved grief from my other losses.
At first I thought I maybe needed to grieve to get it all out of my system but things became too much for me to bear and I rang my GP and am now back on Sertraline 50mg.
I have been on it for 7 days now and though I recall feeling a bit strange first time around, this time of taking it my side effects are feeling shaky at times, nausea (not so much now), headache (first couple of days), loss of appetite and fatigue (ongoing) which I didn’t have before.
I do have flashes already of feeling brighter, usually in the evenings, then I start thinking it can’t possibly be the meds working already as it is too soon. But at those moments I can think of my triggering thoughts and remain on an even keel.
But then next morning I wake and feel so depressed and anxious again and I don’t even want to get out of bed.
When I feel like this I can’t bear to be in my own skin, I hate my life even though I know things aren’t bad, I hate my home and I just can’t bear things I used to enjoy. I just feel desperate to change something and I’m so restless.
It’s giving me hope that I am starting to feel better as the days go on-although is it too soon for that to be happening?- and also that Sertraline worked so well for me before. I only stopped taking it as I’d gained weight, other than that I liked myself much better while I was on it. But then I worry that because the side effects are different this time it won’t work this time.
Can any “second timers” offer any reassurance that this is normal?
Right now I just constantly read forums to see how others are doing so any stories you might be able to share would really help.