(sorry this'll probably be long)
ive always had problems w anxiety and depression but for the past 2 months it's been incredibly overwhelming. at first it started off w shortness of breathe and lower back/leg pain. my doctor just decided it was anxiety and gave me ibuprofen 1000 mg.
2 weeks later i was having trouble breathing and chest pain and my heart rate was so fast so my family called 911 and they took me to hospital. the doctor told me that i had anemia and that the chest pain was on the surface bc when she would apply pressure on my side it would hurt. she didn't prescribe me iron supplements tho but she told me to just get some iron supplements or to tell my doctor. so i took 65 mg iron for about 2 weeks and saw no results. i was tired all day, feeling fatigue, little exertion would exauhst me, and all i did was lay down in bed watching tv. i would also have trouble sleeping and wake up in the middle of the night shaking and just feeling super anxious. i wouldn't be able to sleep after that. so i was depressed, anxious, sleep deprived and just felt weak.
i was having trouble breathing again (no chest pain) and i felt so irritable so my mom took me to a different hospital to hopefully get different results. this time the hospital let me stay and they suspected i had an autoimmune disease called myasthenia gravis. basically your voluntary muscles are affected and you just feel weak all over your body and it can affect your breathing as well if left untreated. i had a bunch of tests done on me the first night and i stayed the night. i actually stayed for about 3 days.
the first night i wasnt able to sleep so the nurses asked me why and i told them that when i would try to sleep my heartbeat would feel weird and that i feel like i have to wake up. they automatically knew it was anxiety so they gave me 0.5 mg ativan. i knocked out in a few minutes. the next morning i would wake up shaking but well rested. i didn't suspect it was the anixety pills bc i would sometimes wake up shaking in the middle of the night before taking those pills. so later that night my mom came to visit me and i told her that i started feeling weird, my body felt fuzzy and i felt extremely anxious again. i have never felt this feeling before. i started crying uncontrollably in my hospital room bc i had no idea what was going on and my nurse wouldn't come in after calling them 20 mins ago. my heart started beating really fast so the nurse came running in and tried to calm me down and reassured me that i was in a safe place. he gave me 0.5 mg ativan once again but he put it in my iv this time so that the medicine would work faster. my mom told me i fell asleep in a few minutes. the next day a psychiatrist came in and asked me what i have been feeling and she asked me a few questions as well. she decided i would need anixety pills and depression pills. i stayed the night again and left the next day but unfortunately i wouldn't be able to get the pills i needed bc the pharmacy was closed. i was already mentally preparing myself for a sleepless night.
that night i tried to sleep but i would feel like i would stop breathing and i would have to try really hard to breathe in. i started shaking for about 20 minutes and stayed up the whole night. i was counting down to 8 am so that i could go to the pharmacy, pick up my pills and go to sleep. i finally got my pills and took half of 0.5 mg but 20 minutes after taking ativan my throat started to feel really tight and i had shortness of breathe. i went to the same hospital and they gave me ativan again in my arm and within 20 minutes i started to be able to breathe properly again and my throat didn't feel tight anymore. they let me go home the same night. so i assumed i took too little of a dose and i just needed to take the whole pill.
2 days went by i would get pain in my throat causing me not to be able to eat. if i burped or swallowed it hurt so much i would be in tears from the pain. the next day it went away but i started to get heartburn and difficulty swallowing my food. and by this time i didn't realize how skinny i have gotten, i lost about 15 pounds in less than 2 weeks. but my doctor weren't concerned bc i am still a healthy weight. (19 yrs old/ 5'5/ 135) i was still having trouble sleeping and i still felt super depressed. my mom would have to come and give me food and all i did was lay down all day bc i had no energy to do anything and doing little tasks would make me really tired. on days i felt happier i would go out w my mom and grandmother to distract myself and just pushed through how tired i would feel from walking around. so i was making an effort to feel mentally better it was just hard. i would cry everyday from being so stressed out and sleep deprived my mom didn't know what to do anymore.
the ativan pills eventually caused me to hallucinate and just made my anxiety worse. my doctor told me to stop taking them so i did: i never took the depression pills bc i was too scared to start that medication bc of how i reacted to ativan. i felt completely helpless. i always knew that if i were to get help i wouldn't resort to medicine but i didn't know what else to do. so i spent another 2 weeks feeling depressed, feeling extremely weak, sleep deprived, anxious and my mom would come w me to doctors appointments to tell them what i have been feeling but all the doctors would say is just that i have anxiety. they asked if i wanted to see a psychiatrist but i didn't want to be prescribed anymore medication after ativan i was too scared to start anything else. my doctor didn't know what to do and assured me all my blood tests were fine and that i most likely had nothing to worry about.
another week went by and the pain in my lower back and legs came back but this time i started getting numbness down my back and my head too. i would also get tension headaches followed by hearing popping sounds in the back of my head and liquid would come out my nose. and of course my anixety is bad and i google this now thinking i had a csf leak. i got extremely anxious so i started having trouble concentrating, i was irritable and i had a headache. i told my mom that i didn't feel okay mentally and started crying in front of her for the 5th time that month. she took me to the hospital again and i told them my symptoms, they ran some blood tests and ruled out menigitis. the doctor told me i was fine and he examed me. he prescribe me medication for headaches but i never picked it up bc the headaches were the least of my worries.
my dad called a neurologists he knew from mexico, and he told him that i needed an mri scan of my whole body to find out what the problem was. my mom already has been wanting to take me to mexico bc you get results faster there once you pay cash upfront. my mom decided it was time to go to mexico bc we were tired of waiting for appoitments to see what was wrong w me. i couldn't deal another day of feeling like this.
i had a consultation w the doctor and he told me that my anxiety is causing me to have IBS, acid reflux and he told me that my intestines were inflamed bc when he would apply pressure there would be pain in certain areas. i told him how i was taking ativan and he was shocked they would give that to me considering how young i was and that the medicine was very strong. instead he prescribed me rhodiola rosea pills 200 mg along w other pills to help w my other symptoms. he believed i didn't require any further tests. after the 2nd day of taking rhodiola rosea i felt so much better, my anxiety was almost completely gone, i had energy all day and would feel no pain. but i still had trouble sleeping. i would wake up multiple times a night and i would wake up so early. i would sleep 12 pm and wake up at 6 am. when i'd wake up id feel tired but after half an hour of taking rhodiola rosea i would feel energized and good.
a week had gone by and i was still having trouble sleeping. so i called the doctor from mexico and he told me to stop taking them and to only take them once a day if i felt like i needed it. so now ive completely stopped taking it. it's now my second day of not taking it and i feel like my anxiety is slowly returning. at first i was tired all day but unable to sleep. now i'm having trouble breathing again. the numbness and tingling has now completely come back. yesterday i was still having trouble sleeping but now ima try and see if i can sleep tonight. if not ima schedule an appointment to see my doctor and tell them i feel like i possibly have insomnia and that i need some sort of treatment. i was kinda hoping for therapy and maybe acupuncture bc ive heard that can help a lot.
i would just appreciate some advice on what i should do next right now so that's why i felt it was necessary to share what has happened to me the past 2 months. i know it was long and thank you if you have read this far. i just don't want to wait until my anxiety and depression gets really bad again. i was supposed to start college already but couldn't because all of this started happening. i just want my life back i feel like i can't do anything the way i am right now. please give me advice on what i should do, i would really appreciate it!!