Severely depressed after discontinuing Effexor

Mental health
1

I've never written on a forum such as this before, but I figured I'd give it a shot.

I've been on antidepressants for a couple years now and I am 21 years old.  I was on Lexapro, Zoloft, Welbutrin, and finally Effexor 75mg.  I tapered from 75mg-37.5mg every other day, then just 37.5mg, then 35.7-none every other day.  After tapering off the Effexor for a couple of months, I've finally hit the point where I could completely stop taking the medication last Saturday.  I wasn't nautious at all with the withdrawal, neither did I have "brain zaps".  I've mostly had a lot of irritability and headaches (I never have headaches before).

I don't know if this is normal, but I feel severely depressed.  One minute I'm alright, and the next moment I feel like I'm carrying a ton of bricks.  I can't stop crying; I feel like I'm on an emotional rollercoaster with a ton of rough turns and hills. I've constantly got a voice in my head putting me down or telling me that I'm not doing anything right.  Unfortunately, that voice is starting to burrow its way in further.

I'm in the process of finding a new doctor; the one I had when I was discontinuing my medication wasn't very helpful.  I've called their office three times checking in and letting him know how I've been feeling, and all three times I haven't heard back from him.  I'm completely frustrated and feel as though nothing's going to change even if I tell them what's happening.

I really really REALLY don't want to go back on antidepressants; I felt cloudly and slow-minded ever since I've taken them, sort of like I was in a dream state. I just don't want to go back on them and be an absolute zombie who has to constantly clench her head together to remember a simple conversation.

I also struggle with an eating disorder and have gained almost 30 pounds from these medications.  It really has a toll on my self-worth.

I know it's a lot, but I just don't know where else to turn to anymore.

Thank you.

2

Unfortunately maybe you need to be on these meds to maintain chemical imbalance,  thus being off them is causing your depression again.  Need decide if the feelings that come with being on them are worth not having those that come when not on them.  

No shame in having to take medication to keep your life on an even keel

3

I'm so sorry you are feeling so bad. I, too, have found that doctors are not always as helpful and compassionate as we would expect. Starting with a new MD and a new medication will help. It does sound as if you haven't found the right antidepressant. Perhaps your new doctor will prescribe something that you can tolerate better. As you sound very depressed I think you need something. I have tried two which made me feel terrible. I now am on a low dose of mirtazapine. Good luck Katie.

4

You've come to the right place. I only joined this site today and the support is wonderful. I've been suffering from a similar experience and I completely understand how hard it is for you. Finding a good doctor is unfortunately difficult but don't give up. There are people out there who really will listen and help and you always have this place for support in the meantme. You can do it.