Short Story / Long Story: I Know I Have HSV - Now What?

Sexual health
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Short-Story: I’m 99% certain I have HSV (with my luck it’ll be HSV2). Test comes back in two days. I can only be upset with myself. I’m really depressed and, surprise, feel like my life is over.

Long-Story: My ex abruptly broke up with me mid-April. I was a mess afterward because things were good / no closure and he wouldn’t speak to me at all. I went on a Tinder swiping binge to take my mind off it and rebounded wrecklessly. I had unprotected sex with three people (one I’m completely ashamed to have been with and now suspect I got something from him (he had a lot going on)… one that was a nice guy but wasn’t going anywhere… and one I was legitimately interested in before this whole mess). For as long as I’ve been sexually active, I’ve gotten a UTI or BV every time I have a new partner, and then Gina calms down. So this summer - with the binging - I kept getting BV, taking meds, that would then give me a yeast infection from killed bacteria. Then my ex and I started talking again (read: having sex again). Also, he had unprotected sex with 3-5 people between this time. Anyway, we had really rough sex five days in a row and Gina was so swollen and torn to pieces. So we took a break for a day (read: a ton of oral sex). My vagina started burning and got tons of discharge, and figured it was just Gina being Gina.

THEN… The next day (Monday - 5 days ago) I went into the emergency department with the worst pain in my swollen groin lymph node (and obviously torn up inside Gina). No fever or feeling ill. In the end, they told me UTI and yeast infection, and suspected PID. (P.S. They ran labs and I was neg for gonn/clam.) They sent me on my merry way with antibiotics and yeast infection pills (I felt dumb). Also, no itching or tingling. The next day I went to the doc (Gina not looked at) who said I had no UTI. Went to visit my family, felt a pinch on Gina when I stood up. (I have “fluffy” lady bits, so that’s not irregular for me. It gets caught in clothes sometimes.) When I got home I looked at it, and it was a sore that looked like a scab was ripped off, so I thought was an ingrown hair). I am a picker and tried to pop it (clear liquid) and really messed it up big time. (Did I mention I’m dumb?) Next morning, I had SIX more sores on outer labia / the moist part between outer labia and the fluffy inner labia. Go to the doc again, highly stressed, and she casually says, “I’ll take a look and should be able to tell if it’s herpes. If I can’t tell or they look suspicious, I’ll swab.” She takes a look and only says, “Okay… so I’m going to swab and we’ll do blood work.” She gives me antivirals and the orange-pee meds. (Those didn’t help the burning pee.)

Over the course of the week (it is now Saturday), I’ve been taking antibiotics two times per day, yeast infection pills (one every 3 days for a total of three pills), antivirals three times per day and the orange-pee stuff three times per day. I’m a walking pill container. All sores broke open, all with oozy, yellow scabs except the one I messed with being an unhealing ulcer of pain… I’ve called my doc every day waiting on results and am annoying to them, I’m sure. I’ve been crying nonstop and look at the sores every 15 minutes. I’ve taken tons of pictures just to keep checking them up close (all with angry red boarders). I talked to my mom about it all, and she reacted like I told her I have AIDs and said a bunch of shame-y stuff. I felt worse than ever.

My ex got blood tested (no symptoms) and came back negative. (P.S. He’s been mega supportive and great through all this. He still thinks I’m sexy and was being ultra horny with my today. Which is sweet, but no way I’d have sex without test results, with these awful sores present, and feeling like my self-confidence has plummeted.) No word on the one guy I was dating’s blood results. He is furious and won’t speak to me again, which hurts but I can’t fault him.

My results will come in two days, but I already know with this many of the telltale signs… I’m in pieces. I was careless; I feel disgusting; I feel like no one will be with me again and won’t risk getting this; I am terrified I’ll pass it on; I am devastated I likely won’t have a vaginal birth when I do have kids (something I always wanted). I feel like my - previously passionate/kinky - sex life is over. (I know I shouldn’t, but I put a lot of my self-worth in sex and it’s my main ‘love language.’) I was already a mess with the breakups, inpatient stay previously, unresolved rape issues, moving across the state…

I’m also angry and want to know where I got it. Honestly, it’s likely guy-I’m-ashamed-of or an EXTREMELY late expression of HSV1 from my other ex of 10-years (he got cold sores) or an extremely late expression after a rape years and years ago. If one of the latter, no clue why it’d just appear now, I’ve been way more stressed before (to trigger it, I mean). If what I read about symptoms appearing 2-14 days after exposure and ex’s negative results, it has to be nice-guy-going-nowhere or won’t-talk-to-me-again-guy, right? I also read blood tests without symptoms are unreliable. So I’m also a little worried my ex does have it and it isn’t detectable levels of antibodies if he also recently got it. Why does this worry me? Well, I hope he doesn’t have in general, but also - remember all that oral sex I mentioned - one spot on my lip has been super tingly all day today… and I will not cope with having oral and genital HSV.

I just don’t even know anymore. I’ve looked at too many genital herpes pictures and read too many stories… I can’t think about anything else. I feel so low. I just don’t have any will anymore.

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  • Also worried about oral because, before I was experiencing symptoms, I was picking my dry lips (recall: I'm a picker). So autoinoculation is possible.
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hey dear! I felt like replying cause I've experienced a quite similiar situation back in June. I had had unprotected sex with two guys, one was a friend of mine with whom we occasionally hook up, the other was a random cute guy from Tinder. I was home alone for the weekend cause my housemates werent there, so the tinder guy stayed over for two days straight. In these two days we CONSTANTLY had very rough unprotected sex. His dimensions were huge, much bigger than anything I've been used to. It was often quite painful, so we ended up using a lube, which I had never needed and used before. The evening he left I started feeling very painful down there and it was quite weird. When I looked with my phone I noticed some weird like open wounds in the area around the entrance of my vag. They did not look like blisters at all, they were just small open sores, extremely painful every time I peed. The morning after they seemed worse, so I urgently went to the hospital where the doctor that visited me said it looked like an “infection”. She suggested to go to my home doctor, which I did. Once she looked at it she said she was 90% sure it was herpes, but just to be sure she swabbed it and took a blood sample. I was devastated and incredibly terrified waiting for the results. She also prescribed me anti virals and a calming cream to be applied locally for the pain. The pain was terrible, I was taking ibuprofen 3 times a day but nothing seemed to work. My results were late to come, they were supposed to come in 2/3 days but they eventually took a week, in which I called the doctor office everyday and I felt like I was annoying everyone. That week has been the worst week of my life. I was laying in bed in pain and tears, thinking I was the dumbest girl on earth. I was obsessively researching about herpes and from what I read I felt like my sexual and romantic life would be over for good, and I’m only 21. I live and study abroad, so I didn’t have any family member near me to help. I cried on the phone to my mom, who was not supportive at all, on the contrary she almost insulted me and said it was my fault. I felt dirty, disgusting, like I could never be self confident ever again. A week passed and I was not healing at all, the wounds stayed kind of the same. Eventually my results came back: both blood test and swab were negative to herpes and any other STD. Only the vaginal tampon identified a bad yeast infection. I felt alive again. A yeast infection is easily treated. When I went back to the doctor she said that the yeast infection was probably caused by an allergic reaction. This is how I found out I am allergic to the lube. As I said before, it was the very first time I had used it. I remember feeling a weird itch when we applied it but we ignored it. The rough sex caused me these small wounds which got terribly infected with the yeast liquids coming out. The medications soon cleared the infection and I was well again. The wounds took around 2 weeks to heal completely. I will always remember all this and the lesson it thought me: NEVER, EVER not use protection. Even when the person is 100% sure they’re clean. They might not know. Herpes for example is most of the times asymptomatic. Also, doctors CAN be wrong. Stay strong and fingers crossed for your results! Keep up us updated and feel free to text me if you want to talk. I know exactly how you’re feeling. All the love and good luck!

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did your yeast infection sores look like canker sores?

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youre soooo lucky!

I got it from one time 2 minute horrible sex with a condom with a guy who passed all my bounderies after giving me GHB right after telling me how my ex whom I still loved cheated on me in his house, pretending to help me. I was a mess at the time. wrong moment to be weak and naive for a second.... 4 days later the pain, fever and headache started. I later reinfected myself orally and ever since I have severe health issues like tinnitus, face pimples all the time that leave scars, and irritated pussy each time I wear tight clothes or shave. My eyes got infected so I cant wear my contacts anymore after more than 12 years and always have to wear glasses. It triggered a neurological disease that only 0.0001 percent of people have. Tingling, muscle twitching, strange pimples, severe muscle weakness and tiredness all the time and insomnia. lottts of hair loss because of the valacyclovir and stress. It changed me forever. I used to be healthy, happy, energetic and shiny but I look and move as 10 years older ever since. in 2 minutes this has been taken away. Im devastated but can only think there are even worser things, at least Im alive still...

never even had unprotected sex (only with my boyfriend) Dont know why putting this here but apparently I felt like it.

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try not to panick before the results

theres a chance that its from ur ex and you both just got infected

my blood tests igm and igg were negative after 3 weeks after exposure

igm went positive after 2 months after exposure (igg still negative)

what I learned: maaaany ppl have it. for lotsss its not a big deal after the first break out. guys that are into you will still find you attractive.

what i hate (next to the severity for me) it having to tell new partners and the guilt-feeling of the always present infection risk ... but thats just how it is

it will get better with time I believe that

the guy youll end up with will likely get it anyway so once youve found the one you can eventually both decide how cautious you want to be

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As hard as it is, you will never be able to know where you got it from. with 80% of the population having herpes, and only 20% knowing they do, youve probably been exposed more than you know. Youll tear yourself apart trying to figure it out, amd in the end, even if you do, youll still have herpes.

Another point i wanted to touch on was the fact that you said "knowing my luck itll be HSV2". Herpes is herpes no matter what strand. Type 1 isnt any better than type 2. The stigma ends with us, and that's one that needs to end. The two strands are practically identical, no matter which type, its herpes.

Its normal to feel defeated, and dirty. But you shouldn't. I got it from being in a relationship with someone who was a silent carrier.

Herpes is so widespread, that if you hit 60 and don't have it, youre the odd ball.

The stigma is the worst part. All your future outbreaks, if any, won't be as bad as the first!

Educate yourself, watch TED talks. I found i accepted my diagnosis easier after diving into research. Its mindblowing the stuff you find out!

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yes they kind of did!

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First, I'm so glad it worked out well for you, and sorry that you had to go through all of that. Second, how many sores did you have? Do you have pictures? Were any on the inside of your vagina (for the burning pee)? We didn't use lube or anything new that I'd be allergic to... I don't know... The number of sores, how angry they look with the red boarders and yellow scabs, and - especially - the swollen lymph node in the groin has me majorly convinced its HSV.

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You're right... I know one isn't necessarily worse than the other. I did see that HSV2 statistically comes back more frequently and has more viral shedding periods than HSV1. Also, I know they both get triggered with stress and I can't begin to explain how stressed I am on a daily basis. I've never not been stressed. So, no matter which it ends up being - unless I have a major shift in personality - I'm sure I'll have tons of outbreaks. I know I sound like a Debby Downer.... I just feel hopeless right now.

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That's completely understandable! I was the same way before i knew what type, i hoped type 1, but then i informed myself.

I got the call saying it was type 2, and i kind of had to go through the process of reaccepting the diagnosis.

In theory, yes HSV1 tends to have less frequent outbreaks, but only marginally, many members of a group im in have genital HSV1 and get just as frequent, if not more frequent than HSV2. the virus has adapted to be able to live in that environment. It also has to do with the fact that many people already have HSV1 orally, so their body tends to already be able to fight off a genital HSV1 outbreak more successfully.

When it comes to shedding, because we dont know when its happens, with either type, theres practically the same risk of spreading via shedding.

Its a hard pill to swallow, but once you start putting the stigma aside, its honestly nothing comparatively! I like to say out of all the incurable things out there, herpes is the best to have!

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For this, "theres a chance that its from ur ex and you both just got infected. my blood tests igm and igg were negative after 3 weeks after exposure. igm went positive after 2 months after exposure (igg still negative)"

I suppose I don't know when I was exposed and am now worried it is too early?? Like everything will show false negatives. And if we both are too early to show results, then I'm probably going to get it orally as well...

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heyy I had these like small open wounds around the entrance of the vagina. Not inside it or on the labia or anus area. Just around the entrance. Cant really tell how many, probably around 7 or 8. Very small but very painful especially when I peed an urine git on them. Also that area is always humid because of fluids (my fluids was also yeast that infected them) so they took quite a while to heal. They didnt start as blisters that then break, which is how herpes usually start. They didn't have a yellow scab. They kind of looked like canker sores. Yes I can send you a picture I had taken.

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I'm not sure of your symptoms but if there is none I wouldn't trust the positive igM test as definitive. igG is all you want to pay attention to

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And after my vagina sores started healing finally, I'm pretty sure I'm getting new ones on the back of my thigh where it was itching earlier today. This is proving what I was worried about: the antivirals aren't going to help and/or I'm going to get back-to-back outbreaks. :'(

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I don't know if I'm going crazy or what. But the back of my thighs are itching everywhere. I'm terrified I'll wake up with bumps / sores all over.

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its possible. your immune system is probably low because of all stress around this + antibiotics!

im sure that i-f its herpes-, it will calm down once you accepted it more and when you are more healthy/less other medication.

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Just updating for anyone biting nails like I am... They said I'd have results last Friday (tested last Tuesday). Friday they told me to call back Monday. Monday they said they have the results, but the doctor has to go over with me. She never called. (I called last night before they closed as well as this morning). Honestly, kind of annoyed they aren't following up on something this important and causing me so much stress.

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keep us updated!!

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Blood test for HSV1 and HSV2 came back negative. Doctor is waiting on the culture.

I know the blood can be negative if it was a new exposure, but still have HSV. I don't want to get my hopes up yet, but if this isn't herpes I want to know what in the world these sores are from and, also, I'll upload pics because I found it really hard to find sores that looked like mine online and maybe it could help other people in the future.