So my gf and I broke up about 2 weeks ago. She has anxiety and out of nowhere says she doesn't love me anymore afte saying 2 days and treating me as such prior. I have no doubts she didn't love me. She says she has done this with people before with punching them away. She says she needs help, she says she want to be happy but right now says she "isn't relationship material" our relationship was getting more serious having kids/future plans etc. but it all started (her pulling away) with work stress and because we work together i reminded her of stressors even ones I had nothing to do with. I was giving her space and on Monday (9 days after break up) she text me just to "say hello and hope you are well" And we talked via text the rest of the day. We both said we care about each other and that we had missed talking to each other. We talked and she says again she needs help but hasn't got it yet. But then yesterday she asks me if I am going to the company picnic this Saturday. Should I go? The picnic is three hours away and is closer for her to go. Normally, I would go. I told her I didn't want to cause her stress, she said it wouldn't. I said if we say each other and she acted like I was nothing it would hurt and she said that it isn't like she doesn't care about me.
I want to get back together with her, I want her to get help. But should I go? Will it make it worse, will she miss me seeing me? I ask because this break up has given me a lot of anxiety because it was completely out of no where. So I don't trust me own judgement. I've sought help and for some anti anxiety meds but I still don't know what to do. Please help
Hi,
If it's gonna just make u on edge being there when she is then is that what u want. Is missing this event going to change anything relationship wise.
I know u want to get back with her but is it going to work long-term? She hasn't started therapy yet.
It's a tough one I'll be honest. Ur torn either way. Does she want u to go?
Phil
She has to go. We are bosses in 2 different parts of the state. We want everyone to attend to increase the dealing of a team. Normally I would go to show the team spirt as a boss. Until this situation.
Workwise would it be frowned upon by anyone higher in ur organisation if u don't go? Like do u feel u have to go cos it's important for work?
Is it just a picnic or is there other stuff going on too?
I don't know it would be frowned upon by the owner. Honestly, he doesn't care about much. I would normally go just to show support and encourage the team atmosphere. It don't know what is pur isn't important. I have always just went previously. Picnic, potluck, drinking
If you want to go then go. Just leave her be. You wont cause her stress if you dont bother her. Let her be okay. The relationship is done. She is not for you. This isnt what you chase after. You want a mutual love in a relatiinship. She is saving you the hardships. She doesnt want it. So you can go and enjoy yourself as ling as you dont bother her.
Hi there,
I think you shoukd go.. but first i think yoi should having a frank and open conversation with her and lay your cards on the table.Face it head on gently and with no expectations.
I honestly believe that if you do this, on the day you will be able to face her without anxiety because you have cleared your own head.
My manager taught me this, if there's tension face it head on, that way you have taken responsibility and have been completely honest.
I would just tell her how much you care about her, your right here if she needs you, and ask if there's anything that you can do. I really believe whatever the outcome you've been the bigger person.
The reason I say confront is because when we dont. .. negative thoughts and assumptions start to kick in. If you face it and be honest.. a weight will be lifted and you will know where you stand.
Thank you I really appreciate your advice.