Sick of peri

I'm over it.  I've tried everything - take or don't take this supplement, eat or don't eat this food, get off sugar or have a little chocolate every day because life is short, get lots of exercise to lose weight or only a little so fatigue doesn't get worse, go to this or that doctor with a symptom, read this book, that website, etc.  It just goes on and on.

I've decided that my gyn office is unreliable.  It's a big practice and they're always grouchy and overbooked when I go there.  The latest is that two different nurses gave me two different versions of lab results.  When I went in with dry mouth a couple of months ago, the gyn ordered lab work on A1C, TSH, FSH, LH, and Vitamin B12.  The web portal results were posted incorrectly, so I had to call to ask for the correct information.  The nurse told me that everything looked normal.  A few weeks went by and a different nurse called back out of the blue to say that the doctor had just looked at the report - yes, weeks later - and said my B12 was too high.  They told me to stop taking my vitamin supplements - I'd also been on Vitamin D because my GI doctor said my level was too low on that.  I have to go back to the gyn in a few weeks to get the B12 rechecked.

Now that I'm off the supplements, the symptoms that they were suppressing are back with a vengeance.  I'm back to sleeping poorly, having that weird one-sided breast soreness that was gone, feeling sad and down all the time, and having severe bouts of fatigue.  I have a full-time job.  I am my sole support.  In my mind, I picture myself being able to wash the dishes and do the laundry and manage my life, but in reality it happens only sporadically because I am too lethargic to do more than what I absolutely have to do.   So everything gets done at the last minute, if it gets done at all, and sometimes I'm late to work and I have become unreliable in my own life.  Everything is more than I can manage.  I give up all my energy for the 40 hours a week when I'm working because I can't afford to lose my job.  Everything else comes a distant second.

I know this is a rant.  I just had to get it all out somewhere where people will understand.  I try to talk to people close to me who might understand, but it doesn't help much.  Every now and then, I have a few minutes of clarity when I feel hopeful, but it never lasts.  I keep being told that peri is not a disease, too, and not to treat it like one, that it's just a phase that will come and go over time.  I want some way to feel better that doesn't involve another supplement, prescription, doctor visit, lab test, any or all of the above, and still be able to enjoy life, because it IS short.

I do understand . I started going through it 9 years ago . Apart from my monthly cycle being all over the place I was fine . I have not seen for 6 months and the past 3 months have been hell on earth . My body doesn't feel my own . I'm scared A lot of the time . Every single ache ,pain, burning sensation and sniffle fills me with dread as I convince myself I'm dying .I can sleep most of the day as no energy at all. I'm 49 . I've been told these symptoms may never go away completely . I'm getting hot flushes every half hour , these are can cope with . The negative thoughts and just generally feeling poorly I am struggling with . I'm on HRT and anti depressants. So your really not alone . I wish I could find something positive to share . And yes life is too short . Sending hugs

Hi Liz, 

    While I am nearly 61 and am in menopause, I certainly remember that peri phase and completely understand everything you are saying.  I had a horrid two years of peri symptoms. I saw 6 different doctors, and I tried everything from birth control pills, bio identical hormones, herbs, and supplements. Doing the hormones actually made things worse. It seemed that the only thing I ever thought about was hormones and how bad I felt.   I finally went off it all.  And then it took quite a while for my body to come back to "normal".  I did take an anti depressant for a couple years, which I do think helped.  

   Here's the very best I can offer with this peri experience.  Do absolutely everything you can to help your body.  And I mean that.  Get in bed by 10pm, drink plenty of water, take a good multi vitamin, eat a really healthy diet, a little amount of exercise (don't over due as that uses up your hormones faster), do somethings just for you, try to destress your life as much as possible.  Do somethings that are really fun for YOU.  All of this should help your body and mind make this adjustment a little easier.  Expect some odd period cycles, shorter cycles often happen.  

After I got off all meds, and my body had time to adjust, I really felt pretty normal.  Over the years, my periods slowly tapered to every couple months, then three, then six before they stopped.  And honestly, I didn't even notice.  It took 5 years before vaginal atrophy and dryness set in.  So this whole thing is a marathon, not a sprint.  

You are not alone, crazy, or falling apart. And you have every right to rant. None of this is easy, and it sure makes life difficult.    

Liz, I am in postmenopause and 58. I know exactly how you feel. Alot of us do. You rant and vent to us. Ask, we might not have the answer, but we can talk about it. Honey life is too short. I have learned more on this site than in a doctor's office. Sending you a big Mommy's hug!

Hi Liz I’m completely with you on this I’ve read self help books been to my gp numerous times , which hasn’t really helped gp wants to put me on antidepressants now as my symptoms has caused me to have health anxiety which with the perimenopause is a living nightmare , I have a professional job which I have to be up beat to work colleagues and patients which believe me isn’t easy some days which are few and far between I can feel great could take on the world but then it likes someone’s flicks a switch and bang back to feeling tearful dizzy moody very tired etc etc .... which then subsequently brings on my health anxieties too ... in the last 4 years I’ve lost my mum my dad my marriage my house .. just can’t see a end to all this .... Liz I just hope things will get better soon for us... and as I’ve just read it does get better over time ... can’t wait 😊 x

Hey Liz. Take it easy. Look after yourself. Do what you feel is right for your body. By our age no one knows our bodies better than we do. It is just you at home? So, what does it matter if the dishes get left or the house isn't vacuumed? Leave it until you feel like doing it. That's what I'd do. Unfortunately, I don't have the luxury with 2 school children at home - something I neglected to think about when I decided to have kids late in life (that I would be having menopause while they were still at school). But I console myself with the face that I know 3 other mums who have had breast cancer. I count my blessings.

hi Liz,

i understand completely, that happened to me, when they said i had fibroids, and when i go through menapause they will shrink, but they didnt , they got massive, and i had to have a hysterectomy, i wish i had gone down the route i usually go down, which is holistic, it takes time, but it can work..

i feel what ever you get in life, it has taken years to come to the surface. ie health problems.. but as you say life is short,but its worth a try.

no one wants to spend life, what ever age feeling rubbish..

maybe go see a natrapath, then take from that, and do what ever suits you in the end.

j x

Sweetheart, be easy on yourself.  Last year I was that same mess.  It does end, I PROMISE!!  I was ALL you are saying.  i just wanted to end my life...and at the very same time I was so afraid that I would, and I would hurt the ones I love, the ones that love me.

But I felt so tired and so worthless, so fuzzy brained and anxious.  My peri had been showing various symptoms for quite a few years but that crash was the worst!  That is where you are right now, in that rabbit hole.  It will end.  I swear to you it will.

My light at the end of my tunnel has been shining brighter and brighter for the past few months now.  Three months ago i finally started leaving the house and running errands by myself!  Without having my husband with me as a leaning post.  I hadn't been able to do that for a very long time!

A few weeks ago I went to a wedding (with my husband)...and had so much fun!  I forgot everything for those few hours and just danced so much I ended up in bed for two days after in pain from my head to my toe...but it was another step out of the anxiety that has riddled me for years.

Last week i went to church...(with my husband) that was my biggest test...and I actually enjoyed it!!

This morning I went to a ladies group...I drove there alone, walked in the door alone.  Someone said something really nice to me and I had to run to the bathroom and cry...but i dragged myself back to the social and I didn't have a panic attack!!

It does end, I promise.  I need thought it would end for me either.  I felt so hopeless, so alone, and so desperate.  i went through a huge hate state.  I hated everyone.  I hated my husband.  I wanted to leave him.

Today I am just very happy I am out the other end of that particular dark place.

I love my husband, I am learning to love people again.  I am learning not to hide in the house.  It isn't easy...

But please keep these words in mind "This too shall pass"

And be easy on yourself.  Pamper yourself...do what you need to do for YOU, and don't worry so much about what you can't do.

Before all this I was jill of all trades...for a while i couldn't even use my power tools...couldn't sew anymore...and nope, couldn't do dishes either.  i couldn't think enough to get anything accomplished.  So i took lots of bubble baths and read lots of enjoyable books and told everyone in my life to deal with the new me.  LOL!  You know what, they surprised me and became much more supportive.  And that was what i needed most to get out of the hole i think.

I tired different things, got great results from a few of the things I tried.  They managed some of the symptoms.  

But you know, maybe in the end i just needed to accept where I was and be easier on myself.

I don't have any answers, but what i do know for sure is that it DOES NOT last forever.  Hang tight lady!

everything is fine now thankyou, i sat tight, and went the holistic way.

and with patience and my lovely husband, im now tip top health..

Hi Liz, I completely understand where you are coming from. There is so much information out there. Some good and a lot of bad. I had all the typical physical stuff like fatigue, nausea, weird itching, hot flashes, migraines etc all of which were horrible but it wasn't until the mood swings took hold that my life started to disintegrate. Had terrible depression, anger, obsessive negative thinking that made me crazy etc.

I didnt do much in the way of supps and my diet was already excellent plus I do a lot of weight training so for me the only thing I figured would ultimately help was to get my hormones balanced. I knew they were completely out of wack so I found a doctor who specializes in hormones and started bio identicals. He used my symptoms plus my blood work to figure out what to give me. It also didnt fix me instantly, its taken quite a few months with close monitoring through regular visits and blood work and making adjustments to my troche but I'm now feeling normal again. I do have a few off days every now and then but its very maneagable and it passes quickly.

The main thing with bios is finding a doctor who specializes and understands hormones as most don't.

Hope this helps a little. I think its important to share the success stories too.

Rosemary😃

Hi LIz. When you said that your doctor said your B12 levels were too high I got a bit worried because I take that suppliment along with several others. So I did a bit of research and found that you cannot overdose on B12. Look at this:

Out of fear of overdosing vitamin B12, treatment is often reduced to below the frequency that is needed by the patient, or, even worse, treatment is stopped completely.

As a result, symptoms can reoccur again and again and even become irreversible.

It is very clear this fear of overdosing is based on a misunderstanding. For over 60 years high dose vitamin B12 treatment has been used without any signs of the danger of an overdose.

The Dutch National Health Counsel and the Regional Disciplinary Medical Board of Eindhoven have stated clearly that vitamin B12 is non-toxic.

Clinical research and the treatment for cyanide poisoning have shown that even extremely high doses of vitamin B12 and the serum values that go with it are harmless.

Now, I'm not a medical doctor but it seems that high levels of B12 is harmless.

Hi Samantha.  I feel the same was the health anxiety is much worse than any physical symptoms.  

Hi Jan.  Like you I will have a good day or two and then BAM. I can't get off the couch!  I'm so sorry for all that you have been through these past four years.  Peri is bad enough without all that other stuff.  Geez girl.  Hang in there ((hugs))

Thankyou so much for replying can’t stand the feelings or the sadness anymore it’s got all too much x

Just hop on here anytime you are feeling low.  We are all in this together🙂

Thanks to everyone.  I'm having a really rough time.  Tonight I'm having UTI symptoms and my mother is having surgery in the morning.  I'll have to go to a clinic about the UTI instead of being at the hospital to see her when she's done because it's in early morning.  I am beside myself, crying and shaky and sad.  It's going to be a long night.

hi liz,

sorry to hear you are having all these problems, when you are in this world of

do this, take this, it gets so confusing, and gets frustrating.

i can say you do come out of it all in the end, what ever route you take.

seeing a good natrapath, and good Doctor, and reserching good information

is good, everyones differeant, so you have to find whats good for you, and that may

take time...

Tested negative for infection and feeling better today.  Being cautious!

That's good news Liz!  Amazing how bad these hormones make us feel!  ((Hugs))

Thanks for the encouragement Janice.  Have you come out on the other end yet?  How old are you?  I'm struggling so much right now