Pressure headaches. Stomach pains/ nausea/ no appetite. I'm 5'6 and 110 pounds, I can't get myself to eat enough. Chewed up cheeks and lips. Tight chest, feel like I can't get enough oxygen. Sore EVERYTHING from being tense all day. I think I've lost the ability to relax my shoulders. Clammy feet and hands, sometimes my whole body. Insomnia. Dizziness. Shaky hands. Restlessness across my whole body.
Racing thoughts. Inability to concentrate; can't even read a book. Constant sense of being overwhelmed. This feeling of impending doom. Constant feeling like I just don't know what to do with myself. Strange mind games, like counting syllables in everything I come across; altering it when necessary to make sure there is an even number. I can't accomplish anything that involves mental focus. Now terrified for my grades, too. Is college even right for me? It wouldn't be so hard of my brain would work. Why can't I cope?
I was always an A student. It is 2 in the morning, and I have a project due in the morning that I started yesterday; been assigned a week. Another project due the following day. Assigned FIVE weeks ago, haven't started because I'm struggling reading the material for it.
I'm constantly thinking "I don't feel sober right now." Like there are all kinds of strange chemicals flowing through my brain.
There is nothing actually wrong in my life. Some stressful things happened a few months ago, but I generally don't think about them too much. I eat about the best diet possible. Good friends, good family, although I do miss my family a lot being away for school.
I've had bad anxiety for 6 years, although I had it as a child too, just not bad enough that it was even recognized as anxiety at the time. Some times are worse than others. But this past month has been horrible, and getting progressively worse. I don't know why, I don't know what to do. I have Xanax, but I hate taking that crap every day. I refuse to get back on a daily anxiety med, haven't been on one in a couple years. Weed will help for a little bit, but it comes right back. And weed doesn't help me with the school work...
Even the format of this is strange, it's like my brain is backwards.
I want to SCREAM and run as fast as I can.
What do I do? How do I cope? Similar experiences?