I am usually a very outgoing person. Involved in my community. Great friends and family. I think I am beginning to see a little daylight but I seem to have no interest in seeing my friends which is quite confusing for me because I always enjoyed being with my girlfriends. I don't understand this. Can anyone relate?
lynda
Thats what depression does. It turns everything into a negative. I too don't want to see anyone or go out anywhere so I know how you feel.
I wonder sometimes if I should just push myself but I don't think I have that kind of energy.
I have to really push myself sometimes but I can't socialise while im like this.
I totally identify with this. My happiest days seem to be the ones where I have no obligations, nowhere to go and nobody to see. I was never like this until just lately. I dread being asked out to meet with friends etc., my husband can't understand and thinks I am being awkward. It's almost like a phobia.
So, yes, I do relate Lynda.
Hi Lynda
i thought it was important to tell you that there IS light at the end of the tunnel. I have been treated for depression since November last year with much changing and tweaking of antidepressants and I have just turned the corner! I feel great, like a new me, want to do things again and have no trouble in getting out of the house. I have been shut down for over seven months and although I've been there before, this time felt like it was going on forever. Like Patricia, I didn't want to go outside my four walls, my confidence was gone and suicide was a regular idea in my thoughts.
You didn't say if you are on any drugs to help you get better, if you aren't you need to get some, it won't cure itself. If you are on a particular drug and you aren't improving, go back to your doctor and tell him/her.
I'm always around if you feel like off-loading. Get better in your own time and at your own speed. It tends to work better if you don't rush it.
Hi Lynda, I know how you are feeling, depression does affect your social skills
Like the wording!
I made a comment recently that everything is too much effort. even dropping a cap off a drink bottle, picking it up and putting it back on becomes a burden as something else will go wrong at the same time.
Doing nothing = nothing going wrong.
Doing Something = the something could go wrong
Socially, the same. Used to talk about 'stuff', play computer games. Now I spend hours listening to how someone hates their work so much, or finding the the game needs a 4 hour patch upgrade so no one can play.
I have to mentally prepare for conflict or at least anguish every time I socialise now. yes and that feeling could be called phobia.
It is sooo soul draining!!!!
I like your wording too!
I totally identify with your feelings on socialising. I have to do the preparation for days ahead, but however much I prepare something seems to happen to confirm that I shouldn't have gone. I usually feel as though I am in a bubble or that I am an alien......it's such a struggle to act "normally". And when I DO join in, I seem to say the wrong thing or someone says something to me which I take badly.
Yes, it's sould draining.
Pat.
This is sign of stress and depression, i have this experience as well
Long comment - sorry
I'll quote something from terry Pratchett in one of his books.
"You cannot plan the future. Only presumptuous fools plan. The wise man steers."
I get caught too many times planning a social event and worrying about the reaction of people I know will cause issues.
(this is in a group of people whom I've known since the 80's and I'm not settled with them)
I say something to steer the conversation only to have someone talk straight over me and go in a different direction.
I plan a games session only to have people wanting a DVD but told everyone but me so I brought all the equipment for nothing, *and* then they complain why I didn't set the DVD up for them. All conflict.
Going back to my 'What happened in Tribal Days' mode, I think there are people types that are analysts ie on the fringes that look at the situation and try to improve it, or see that there is internal conflict in the tribe, and its time to split the tribe in two. etc etc
There's plenty of times, even at work where I've warned about something happening, been derided and it happens anyway, and I feel bad for not protecting 'my tribe' and they attack me cause they know I told them and they are not happy.. errrg
Since the world is taken over by the Warriors who only fight to stay on top or fight to put something in their resume at the cost of their workplace (my situation) and not the true Leaders who consider tribal stuff and people, there is only conflict. Warriors want strength so instead of splitting the tribe they keep it together and cause untold problems.
I get the feeling that like true Leaders those of us that do the noticing, do not have a job either and its frustrating and depressing.
I've tried steering. Its very difficult as you have to release control. Basically I say what a wise person calls a "helicopter view" instead of
I'm going to get attacked again, I need to setup X Y Z then go to H; pulling back and say instead, its OK there's a request for games session this weekend. I'll bring DVD's as well and tell XYZ they are to setup the DVD, ABC is to setup the Games.
I have to fight (become a Warrior) sometimes still, but since I've got SMS 'evidence' I can say "hey I told YOU to do it and you haven't - see? not MY problem" It hurts cause the tribe gets hurt, but at least I'm fighting a battle I can win. One of these days maybe my mates will learn to prepare themselves. *shock*
Lastly, sometimes its been a better experience that we all turned up, all didn't prepare and went off and did something like go for a group walk and its been a better time cause there was no conflict and we just did something different.