Sorry for the rant

Bones, joints and muscles
1

Hi guys,

I am 4 weeks post op and doing ok. Still on two crutches for another two weeks, doctors orders as operation was a little complex. Recovery has been slow and rocky to say the least.

I have suffered with pain as long as i can remember. I was born with dysplacia, had the usual treatments of traction, spica cast and pins in the joint. None of the above helped so i continued to have operations e.g derotation of the hip, shelf procedures and was in a spica cast again for 3 months when i was 9. At this point i was being passed from pillar to post to see various doctors at hospitals in the north west of england. It was at Alder Hey Hospital i was told i suffered from something called idiopathic chondrlysis (exuse the spelling). My hip joint would malform and turn into a honey comb, wear away and try and rebuild itself, which again would malform.

This cotinued into my teens and i had a few more ops to strengthen the joint to keep it going. I was asked to have a hip replacement or bone fusion when i was 18 and again at 21, which i declined as i wanted to have children and over ten years ago they didnt know how i would cope through pregnancy.

Anyway i got on with it and the pain and managed to have two children, which i think was the straw that broke the camels back. Both pregnancies were not great, but i got through them and managed to hold down work too. Looking back i really dont know how! My youngest is nearly 1 years old now and my oldest is nearly 3.

After my youngest i went back to work after 6 months to find any quality of life had gone out the window. Iv never been able to walk far, run or sit for long with the pain, but the pain and lack of movement this time started to consume me. Simple tasks of walking into work or walking round the house became almost impossible. Never mind caring for two children, one of whom was starting to crawl. I work in education, which is stressful and i never really talked to my manager about my problems and tried to just get on with it. Taking silly amounts of pain relief to get through the day. I got a letter to go and see my consultant to check my hip after pregnancy and was told i couldnt really wait any longer, the hip was callasping and my pelvis and spine were getting worse. I didnt have any fight left in me and immediately said yes please. A month later i was booked in for the op.

I really thought that this would cure everything and i could finally get some quality back to my life. Its early days and i sure i will. I am determind to walk to the park and go on holiday with the kids and not have to worry how far i got to walk to the nearest seat!

Well early days and i can feel my hip moving more freely already. I even pushed myself yesterday to put my own socks on, which i havent been able to do for years. All this is great and slowly the operation pain is getting better. Bad news is alot of the pain i suffered before well it hasnt gone! Went to my physio yesterday and had a good chat. It has dawned on me that not all the pain i had before was the hip itself, but because of so much trauma over the years i have severe nerve damage. She is going to work with me over a 12 month period to try and repair muscles, tendons ect surrounding my hip and spine and hopefully we will get somewhere. She asked me to speak to my consultant about my nerve pain and spine as she thinks i should be referred in 6 months after i heal from the THR and have this looked at. Thinking back i have been to the Walton Centre about ten years ago and was treated for nerve damage there. It didnt really work and ended up on a pain managment program, to help me deal with pain. So im not holding my hopes up to get this sorted.

Since the op i have been suffering with pain in my right thigh. Well i get a burning feeling and start to loose feeling in it, then the pain comes. Physio said its compressed nerves. Anyone had this?

It prob is just the way im feeling at the moment as maybe i dont like to admit it, but over the last few months with everything going on im thinking i feel slightly depressed. I wont go on at my husband about how i feel as i can see on his face the worries he has for me, so here i am telling you lot my story and the way i feel.

Work are pushing for me to get back as soon as. Obviously they dont worry about your health or seem to care. They just need me back as we got figures to hit.

I just feel like crap. Think in my head i thought the THR would solve everything and i would have a new life. Maybe i will, just not as soon as i anticipated! I am really grateful for what i have and for our NHS who do a amazing job and have looked after me over the years.

Sorry for the rant. I know there are so many people worse off than me and i dont usually go on about it. Just needed a place to off load and carry on. Well im done, thanks for the read. Onwards and upwards! X

2

Colleen....Thank you for your post and this is just the place to air your feelings and to feel stronger.

We have similar conditions I suspect, although I have arthritis, do you have this in your spine? Your situation sounds identical to mine. I too still have back pain and other aches and pains, it is still such early days for you to be completely pain free. It really is. The back pain I think is made worse by lying on your back at night and the crutches, mine has eased considerably since I came off the crutches. 

I am a little way on from you and things really have improved no end, there is hope. You are just at the point that you just feel exasperated by the whole thing, the pain before the operation, the stress of the operation and then post op, the recovery takes a LONG time, and time is not something you have in large amounts. There is pressure with children and babies to be better, and fast. All these things are combining I am sure to make you feel this way.

From six weeks you really will be feeling so much stronger, happier and more comfortable. We all hit these hippie blues at some point when it just feels endless, but then you do something incredible like getting to the park and you feel great.

The recovery time was one thing I had not factored in, and I too felt desperate to get on and enjoy my life and children, but it is just a few more weeks and those things will happen...

Your new hip will give you a much better quality of life, think back to the struggles and pain pre op, at least now you are getting better, abeit much slower than you would like. Your back will either resolve itself or it won't,  there are things that can be done to make your back better when the time comes. Your hip was your main problem and it is now fixed, even if it is taking a while, and slowly everything should come together. I was so fed up with it all too at different points.

Even now, I have my moments like yesterday when I became stranded at a netball match realising how far it was to walk to the car! But we will get there hun!! You must be exhausted with little ones, and trying to recover. Do you have some help? Maybe some TLC is required, could you have someone paint your nails and give you a foot rub or a facial, to me you sound like someone in need of a hug and a cup of tea. A virtual hug is on the way! 

 

3

Bless you, Colleen, what a rubbish time you've been through and boy, are you so entitled to have a rant. I think you'll find a lot of people on here who understand what you are saying.

By no means having the conditions you have, I have OA in hips, spine, shoulders, and fingers. I have had many periods of 'poor me' and try hard to think about others worse off than me but sometimes you just need to weep and wail.

I see my THR as a means of giving me back some life. I just want to be able to walk and have a little less pain. I have just had my second THR and there are changes already but I know from the first one that it takes months to see real differences.

I have also squished some nerves in my spine and suffer with thigh pain which shoots into my calf. This may not improve given the OA but walking has been made easier with new hips. 

Take it day by day, it is not a magic wand but a means to give you some quality. I will never get back to sport but am hoping to be able to travel again and just to be able to walk without looking like Quasimodo's cousin will be all the bonus I need!

4

Thank you Rose. I just had a little cry reading your post. I was told i had arthitis in my hip too a few years ago, which in turn put pressure on my back and that became arthitic too.

Nice to hear your experiences too! It is so much harder with young children, but they drive you to get better sooner and make you smile when you feel like screaming!

I know it is early days your right and i am sure over the next few weeks my outlook will change as i start to get some independance back. I think a little TLC would work wonders. Maybe when i feel up to i will treat myself and get my feet done.

My husband is brilliant and has been my rock for many years. Really dont know what i would do without him. Just dont like to worry him with my low moods ect. Really didnt exspect to feel so low after the op.

Well sun is shining and its a new day. Hot shower in order to wipe away the cobwebs.

Thqnk you x

5

Your children are your drive as you say, they give you such purpose and reason to keep going and keep working away at your recovery! Harness the feeling so that it takes you to a better place. Remember the days in the summer sunshine when you can enjoy your new hip and your babies - it is not far away, and you won't always feel this way (although it does feel like it sometimes!!!! I would agree completely!)

I hope I didn't make you feel worse????

I just wanted you to know we all have days when it is so hard, and so tiresome, and you are fully entitled to feel that way. No one except another hippie would know how it is at times....but it will get better...and better and better! 

It is good that you could share, get it all off your chest and on here, that way it can't fester and cause you more pain. I really do know what you are feeling like...and sometimes it is a big ole mountain to climb! We are all with you hun!

Now hot shower, outside and feel the sun on your face, okay? It is all going to be just fine. 

6

Hang in there Colleen

We are all here for you and totally understand how you are feeling. I am 3 weeks post op and i am feeling better everyday but i know it takes time and i have been told by many amazing people on here its early days for us and we just need to hang in there and it will get so much better maybe just not as fast as we would like but it will.

venting is a great thing better out thsn in and usually once you get out you feel better.

Hmmmm pedicure sounds like a great idea i think i might do the same :-)

Hang in there ok

Big hugs

Karen xx

7

No i had a little cry. Read it again and thought yes your right, its going to get better so get a grip lol!

It feels good to get it off and then move on. My hubby just nipped home and made me a bacon sandwich. He knows the way to my heart ha!

Yes im going to attempt to sort the kids room out, shower and sit in the garden for a hour with my eldest.

Thank you for understanding and the gentle push in the right direction. Happy healing. X

8

Haha Kate you made me laugh. Thank you for your comment. Never mind me, think you been through the mill too!

Your right, i do stay positive most of the time and dont really do the whole oh poor me poor me people as there are really worse off people around. Think we just get in a rut of feeling sorry for ourselves. Good to give it a rant and get over it. All the better ranting to people who have been through or going through the same as you and understand how mentally draining this whole thing is.

Im too looking forward to walking rather than dragging myself around. I will be sure to do a hop, skip and maybe a jump as soon as i can ha! X

9

Hi Colleen, 

I know you are well on your way to better times - Sharing is the beginning - Knowing that you are heard and understood, that you are not a whiner, wimp, self absorbed sack of unusefulness , will make you at least feel a whole lot lighter -

You are so sweet and doing really well - 

come back here any time okay? you are not alone

big warm hug

renee

10

That is the way to a gal's heart unless you are vegetarian of course!!!!

11

Colleen, it sounds like you have many great reasons for ranting! I didn't have even a tiny fraction of your problems and I felt terrible still at 4 weeks. And you are getting pressure to return to work? Just what you do not need at this point. Please keep reaching out for help, both here and on-the-ground at home. You do not want to compromise your recovery, so others will have to step up and do more for you. It will benefit you and everyone else who is close to you in the end. I hope you will be checking with your surgeon/doctors to help you with the physical complications. Nerve damage, if that is what it is, is very serious and deserves attention and treatment. And all of that pain deserves careful consideration and accurate diagnosis and treatment. If your physical health can improve, then your mental health might be close behind. I'd be depressed with what is going on with you! Hoping you can find all of the different kinds of help that you need.

12

My heart goes out to you Colleen!! And so do my prayers...hopefully time is all you need to get your life (mostly) free of pain..if not...completely!!

13

Hi Colleen,

You should be proud of yourself. What a trooper! You have solderied on when most people would have given up.To have two children under such difficult circumstances is amazing.

I don't know much about the medical details as yours is not just a THR like mine at age 68 but I do know what this operation does to any normal person. Post-op I felt depressed and fed upand really crap. Still do at times and I am five months post op now.

Best thing is to see your GP and ask for help just as a temporary measure. Your kids are young and deserve a cheerful mum who is coping with them (and her own life) Antidepressants should not be sneered at - they are useful in the right circumstances.

 

14

Dearest Colleen, you are a strong warrior who has been through the trenches and there can be nothing but up for you!  

Sending warmth and healing to you.

Dawn, USA

15

I agree with everyones comments like kate l have just had my 2nd THR will be just 2 weeks ago and l am going through a down time as l just want to be better right away. But listening to your story puts thing into perspective l was not able to have kids after years of trying every sort of way ivf 3 times then ivf with donner egg and fell pregnant it was the happiest day of my life and for 7 weeks l thought l was in a dream. I really was as l lost it at 7 weeks. This had been 4 years of my life l had put into trying it mentally drained me and l new it was time to give up. Then a few years later at 42 l was hit with this bombshell l needed 2 new hips. I though why me what have l done to deserve such bad luck. But to hear your story l just dont know how l would cope with having kids and going through this. I will get better and l have a lovely husband for support. My heart goes out to you. Life is so hard sometimes but l pick myself up and get on with it as there is always someone suffering more. You are well in your right to rant honey l feel l have days l just want to cry. But then l think l am not gonna let this beat me like everything else that has tested my sanity. You sound like you have suffered so much and to have 2 kids along with ot l say well done you.

Hope you feel better soon

Love

Laura xx

16

Lors, I think week 2 hit me hard the first time as well. I have just spent three days crying at everything but do have the advantage this time of knowing that it is transient.

The rest of your comment caught my eye as I have often tried to piece my medical history together to see if there were markers years ago.

I had back and knee pain when I was little and diagnosed with mild hip dysplasia. I lost 4 babies and managed to keep two and then had a magnificent ectopic pregnancy which nearly killed me. I suffered back ache from my late twenties but it didn't stop me playing netball for 24 years! In my early 40's my 'tilted' pelvis sent me off to the gynecologist for a heavy duty scaffolding op and by late 40's I was struggling with OA and two new hips at 52 and 53. My medical file looks like The Tome of Doom but I have often wondered if everything was linked. Nobody ever looks at the big picture.

One thing I do know, the human spirit is a marvellous thing. In adverse conditions we don't give up. Colleen, your situation makes me want to cry with you but I also know that you are a survivor and Lors, and I and all the rest of the hippies on here will be hobbling along beside you until we all fight back to health!

17

Well said kate l have done exactly the same with trying to piece all my medical history together l gave you the full story on your other post about having a laugh. I sometimes think its all linked since l was really ill and that is why all thi stuff has happened in my life. But again quite happy l have my off day when l cry but l have never gave into depression or ant depressants as l am not that type l face things head on and process it on my own. My sister had ectopic pregnancy about 18 years ago and l remember how bad it was she was put on ani depressants at the time and now relies on themxx

18

Thank you for all your lovely messages. It is good to hear other's share their stories. Puts everything into perspective!

You all are so strong and i am just as much inspired by you all. Anyone living their life suffering with pain day in day out is a soilder on my eyes! I know to well how it can grind you down and almost change you as person.

Keep strong everyone and thanks so much for your support.

Colleen x