The advice given to me on this site has been wonderful and insightful and is my fault for not listening to it. If you have read one of mine stents before, I just moved up from California to Washington State. I asked for help and advice on the way up here and you all give me that. Of course since I'm an alcoholic I only listened to half of it and barely made it up there alive. I ended up calling out sick 3 times my first week of my new job and then ending up in the ER. I'm a horrible person. My poor wife. My wife and I decided not to drink starting the first of the month but I kept pounding drinks while she was sleeping I kept pounding shots of vodka. And I vaguely remember pouring them out in my face while yelling at me and now it's the next day and she won't have anything to do with me and I just chugged a half a bottle of wine because I just don't know what to do.
OK, firstly, get rid of the idea that you are a horrible person. You are suffering from a medical condition that means that your body reacts differently to alcohol to what most people's does. This results in you finding it almost impossible to avoid drinking. It is not about your prsonality, this is not a life style choice that anybody makes.
The problem with blaming yourself is that the feeling of disgust at yourself is likely to make your drinking worse. Accept that it is a physiological condition and look for a medical solution. My view is that The Sinclair Method is the best, but others here will suggest other ways.
Focus on finding a solution and good luck!!
Don't beat yourself up over this. You have AUD.
You had a 'good' patch a while ago.
You'll have another at some point. But don't feel guilty!
Love Tess xxxxx
I'm behind TSM along with Paul and I have the results to show for it. What's happening to you happens to MOST people that hack off their drinking and try to go it without meds after the detox.
Like Paul says, it's not your fault, it's just the way Alcohol Use Disorder rolls 90% of the time if you don't treat the compulsion with meds. It's a medical problem, I7. One drug (alcohol) put it there and a different one can help you get rid of it.
you are not a bad person. You have a bad condition.
And then all the other stuff around you (besides the alcohol) is bringing you down as well.
You sound like you are "sick of being sick"...sometimes that is all it takes to change our lives around.
What happened at the hosptial? Is your liver ok? Is your heart?...
I know you don't feel good now...but don't give up I7
ps...you HAVE given me advice...and I needed it...and it was good advice...
We always have GOOD advice for others because we KNOW what we should do or what we want.....its just very hard.
Life throws curves at us....and as long as your still HERE..you have a chance.
Thank you for all your responses. I know I have to try TSM. If I don't I'm going to end up on the hospital and lose my wife. I feel sick today but it has almost been 24 hrs since my last drink. I have to go to work and get through the day but I'm strangely optimistic. Probably because my wife hasn't left me yet
GOOD...24 hours..that is tough..hopefully WORK makes it easier and not harder...
Keep going I7
Thanks Paul. Over the weekend I'm going to check out some of the doctors that were sent to me to see if they take my insurance so I can start the TSM.
Thank you.I still have the list if doctors you sent me. Now I just have to find it and see if they will take my insurance for TSM.
I'm tired of hurting and lying to my wife. I need to get through today with no drinking and then tomorrow. I have no appetite but at least my hands are not shaking and it's been about 24 hours since the last drink
That's good I7 Good luck
Hang in there, mate! Check your PM's.
Thanks dude
No prob! Sent you another one about TSM and insurance.
We are here....I really know what it is like to not have an appetite...and that is horrible.
Eat little things...soup really helps. I'm sorry.....you feel crappy.
Thank you. Soup sounds good
I7, how are you doing?
Thank you so much for checking up on me. I'm at work right now and I haven't had a drink since last Thursday when I posted. Feel great.
Most excellent! Very glad to hear that, I7!