I have recently experienced some emotional abuse from a Priest. I wondered if anyone else had experienced this and if so what helped. Thanks.
I was raised Catholic. It is a very ritualistic church. If you don't do what they want you to do. They do not teach about Jusus. His grace mercy peace and love. That because of him I have a direct path to the father. They did a lot of damage with my spiritual walk with Jesus. I mean years
I understand Debbie. same happened to me.
I learned to think differently until three weeks ago when a new Priest took over the Parish and called me a time waster for ringing up to seek spiritual support facing a possible diagnosis of cancer .
I have to admit to feling shocked and stunned. I am now trying to get over this emotional abuse and wondered if anyone on here had suffered in a similar fashion and if so how did they deal with it. Fortunately my Parish Priest comes back in another few weeks so I do not have to approach this ;priest; again. Hpwever I still feel somewhat raw and brusised at his response and need some support at the moment.
I have rungSamaritans wo are supportive but feel that I need a little extra.
Sorry to keep going on and on about it but I do not wish to let one individual cloud or colour my judgment of the Church.
I hope you see where I am coming from and I hope that you have got over this harsh attitude .
Sounds to me like you need to talk to the Bishop on that one. Were you asking for the Sacrament of laying on of hands? They can do that and not again til there's a change.
Hi Billc
I wrote to the Bishops Office and was met with denial.
I do not ven know if my concerns were pssed onto him as there are so many layers of bureaucracy. This evening I spoke to a Priest who has direct access to the ear of the Bishop. This priestlisrtened carefully and has assured me that I am not a time waster and that he will speak to the Bishop about this matter. He listened very carefully when I gave him my medical details including the nameof the neurosurgeon etc.
I feel more at peace now but scared of going down that spiral of despair.
I can just try to overcome all this but it is hard.
Hello again
I forgot to say that I rang for spiritual support . As stated previously I was in a lot of pain and anguish and felt there was no escape from the situation of physical and emotional pain.
I felt petrified of everything, was thinking of backing out o seeing the neuro siurgeon as afraid of the possible diagnosis of cancer. I just needed that spiritual support or a few days prior to the appointment.
A few words of reassurance from the priest may/would have helped.
However after the scan and being told I did not have cancer was a massive relief. I felt a lot happier, calmer and peaceful and as if I could get on with my life.
When I came home from the hospital admission of five days I rang the priest up to update him in the mistaken belief that he may be remotely interested and also because I felt it was the polite appropriate and civil thing to do.
After one minute on the phone he then called me a time waster .
Needless to say I will never contact him again.
I am unsure if this is the right place to discuss this but my anxiety levels went sky high due to this emotional abuse and I just wondered if anyone else had suffered and if so how did they overcome it.
I hope the Bishop has a quiet word with this priest and guides him.
Thanks
Well he shouldn't have talked to you like that. But he isn't a therapist and that's what you need. Here's a link you might want to check.
It might help. There's a forum too at,
IDK if anyone there can help you.
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Yes when you were in the hospital did you talk to a Priest. They are supposed to take care of this. Was this your Pastor? Still, he shouldn't have talked to you like that.
I am not religious but do talk to my angels (strange I know). I think this man is disgusting and needs striking off. He should not be in this important role. No-one who attempts comfort with a Priest is a time waster. They are in a role that demands sensitivity and confidentiality. I would not rest until he was corrected by his higher power.
Don't beat yourself up about it, like I say, I only believe in angels but this man has made me very angry. Maybe sit quietly (preferably holding a piece of amethyst crystal to connect strongly) and ask for advice from your guardian angel.
G.
Hi No I did not speak or ask for the chaplain. I wish I had though!
The 'conversation/ was held five days later when I was discharged from hospital and was with a newly appointed Parish Priest from the local church but not my Parish as my Parish Priest was away and still is for a further two weeks.
Thanks /
Thanks Gwen for your support it is much appreciated. I understand that being spoken to like that by that Priest I mean is considered to be emotional abuse which can be very damaging.
I think that had I not been in pain, still am, that I would have just shrugged what he said off but I am concerned about others who may be more vulnerable succumbing to their despair and ending their life. I wondered if anyone else had suffered and how they coped with it .
I have actually just sent him a very polite measured e mail seeking an apology to gain closure. I wonder if he will even bother to respond.
Many thanks for your reply.
xx
Hi l think you have handled yourself very well.Probably if you weren't feeling so vulnerable at this time you would have not have felt so anxious.Let me just say this because this person is a priest it doesn't mean he is a kind and caring man.l would imagine he gets of with being rude because he is a priest.l hope you get an apology although I doubt it very much.lf you don't just move on and speak to your own priest when he comes back.
Hi Marleen
I agree with you.
I was brought up to respect the clergy , educated at a Convent Grammar school etc.
I know that priests are not pe5erfect but I can say that I have never been addressed in such a derogatory, hurtful dismissive manner. I commented to him that it was a good job that the drs did not view me as a time waster and admitted me to hospital on the trauma ward for five days during which time I had an MRI scan of my whole spine. I have bulging discs pressing on the nerves but not cancer.
I will keep you updated but I agree and quite honestly do not expect an apology. I am not after money or suing the church I just want an acknowledgement from him that he should not respond to people in that derogatory and hurtful unchristian like way.
Thanks for your support it means everything to me. Thanks to everyone else who has supported me.
xxx
.
Thanks
I did not need a therapist before I spoke to that priest but may do following his emotional abuse.
I have sent him a very polite measured e mail requesting an apology to achieve closure. However he has not yet responded.
I will give him a couple of days to respond, if he does not then I will take the matter higher and higher in the Public Interest.
This priest needs to understand that just a couple of minutes on the phone plus him saying a brief prayer or him offering to pray would have been sufficint to tide me over those dreadful few days awaiting the neurosurgical appointment then the scan etc.
Pls send thelinks by PM as the Moderator has suggested. Many thanks for your support.
xx
I don't know about your name being icecool - but you are holding it together very well. I would literally be boilinghot and I would personally front him out in person - face to face. Wrong on every level.
You are a sensitive soul who has been very frightened and cast aside, shame on him. It is good you have come here and garnered such good support. Keep updating and offloading if needs be.
G.
Thanks Gwen.
I have felt angry inside ,upset and disillusioned.I am disiluusioned with him, the reaction of the Church and also wonder what he will say to my Parrish Priest when he returns. I researched emotional abuse in the Church and he fits the psychological profile. However I am determined that he is not going to turn me a;gainst my faith but I have come close to doing just that.
Why can't he see what he has done is wrong and just make a quick phone call and say those magic words. I am sorry.
Thanks for your continuing support as always.
xx
Naa hun - he ain't going to do that - that is admitting he is in the wrong. This man has a big head - my goodness I would verbally take his head off. I understand your passion in your faith - and so should he. He can't challenge your faith - because he is in the wrong - Karma will bite him right on the bum - you mark my words. Keep your faith it is important. He is the loser.
G.
I agree Gwen.
I have thought about confronting him but think that that would be playing into his manipulative hands.
Maybe other parishioners will complain until he is made to realise that he is being very offensive, .A .
Oh my goodness - I would not wait - playing into his hands - I would wrap his hands around his neck - to me this is bullying - one thing I will not tolerate. I was in a position of PA to CEO and a new chappie was brought in to lets say bring new life into the company.
He thought he was King - and went on to scare the pants off the Customer Service staff - they ended up dreading to come into work. But he was God to all and sundry. No No No - I am a reserved person and do not like confrontation at all - hate arguments (Pisces) but I will not tolerate someone being scared and feeling alone. Anyway stood up to him and he confessed that he was scared of losing his job if he did not make the department more figure friendly lol. In other words. I fronted him out and he caved.
He then went on to thank me for my honesty.
G.
Hi there, for part of my RS homework I am asked:
How does Jesus give Christians their identity?
you don't know the answer do you?