Firstly I am so grateful for this website and really do appreciate people who take the time to read my problems and give me advice. Seriously, thank you all.
I honestly believe that telling my mother about my depression is one of my biggest regrets. Several times she's told me to 'snap out of it' and telling me that 'alot of other people have it much worse.' I know this and it just makes me feel even more awful about myself. It's like an ongoing cycle where she's forcing me to go out etc and she doesn't understand how difficult it is.
I hate taking pictures of myself and others taking pictures of me and she is constantly asking me to take pictures with her, family and of myself. She know's i'm insanely insecure and hate it so much so she thinks she's smart by asking me in front of people which just makes it so much harder for me to say no.
My counsellor said she's going to refer me to someone else who is more specialised in my case so I guess we'll see how that goes. She said they're thinking about putting me on medication for my anxiety which is highly likely to happen. I'm so nervous because i've never been on any type of serious medication like that but I don't know. I'm pretty sick of feeling like this so i'm just praying that the counselling is effective enough.
I am into week 6 of my latest round of couselling - my 3rd lot in 4 years. For me it beats taking medicine. I have a fab couselllor, he just lets me do the talking on the any subject of my choice. He quite happy for me to be quiet for whole session should I chose. In fact tomorrow is couselling day
I'm so glad it's going well for you! Really hope my new counsellor is like yours, I get so uncomfortable talking about feelings and personal stuff face to face with someone. Good luck for tomorrow
I am alright talking to the professionals even to non family members. It took ages to be comfortable talking to my mum though, still feel uncomfortable talking to 2 brothers about it. Strange really
I guess i've always been a pretty private person so having to talk about things has proved to be so hard. I totally understand about being uncomfortable talking about it with family - my parents and sisters are the only ones who know about this so it kinda sucks
I was like that 30 yrs ago when I was diagnosed with depression for the first time. It was only after a threat from the doctor threading to put me in a mental hospital that I started to open up.
He gave less than 24 hours to think about it...could have spent by 19th birthday in a mental hospital. Good luck with your journey, let me know how you get on... I find coming to this web site a god send.
That was really wrong of your doctor, but I really hope it all worked out for the best! Thank you so much, that means alot to me.. Please feel free to come to me anytime you need someone to talk to but yes you're right, this website is just so helpful
It is good that you are looking for help..regardless what others or your mother are saying. this place offers a lot of resources! It helped me a lot. I hope you find ways to treat your anxiety and depression problems. good night! A
It was back in 1986...long before humans rights laws and patients had any rights were around...don't like consultants then still hate them now but that's another story for another day
HI I hope the meds help and the counselling does too.
Your mum sounds extremely worried about you and is dealing with it the only way she knows. Ok it is not helpful but have you tried showing her any info on depression specifically how people close to you can help? Try it but make sure she knows you are not having a go at her or anything and that you know she loves you and you her. Ok? Bev x
I find it difficult to open up to my mum so my counsellor has tried her best to explain to her by talking to her, leaflets etc. Thank you for this, it means alot x
You are welcome. Has any of this made any difference to how your mum treats you now? Hopefully it will.
One of my second cousins had very severe depression and wouldn't leave his bedroom for over a year. His mum didn't understand at all and was totally confused by it and would say things like 'Pull yourself together' or 'Snap out of it'
Despite that he is now a lot better so there is hope. Bev x
Hi John i have got an older experience that that. I had a breakdown in 1973 at the age of 19 and cut my wrists at work. My colleagues took me to the hospital where I saw a psychiatrist who just told me to go home. When I said I couldn't he shouted at me that I would have to go to hospital and I wouldn't like it. He was right - I didn't. It was a huge victorian hospital and all I got was stong meds which zombified me and a weekiy 'chat' with the same psychiatrist who spent the whole time writing everything down. I got no real help at all.
While I know it has changed for the better in more recent years I have a horror of ending up in one again! Never never, Bev x
hi it is hard to explain to others how you feel because in some ways you dont know how you feel and you dont know what is happening to you, all I knew was that I wasnt that happy person who wanted a baby daughter so much and I couldnt understand why I was not happy, but a year on from that I was diagnosied with depression and anixety, its now 33 years later and I still cant explain to some people how I really feel, because they dont understand, no one understand how you feel unless they have had depression themselves. Its hard for me now as I did talk to my parents in the end, but I had to have help to talk as I didnt know what I was feeling or how to talk about it, but after about 2 years on I did learn how to talk and I did explain to my parents about some things some you have to keep to yourself as they wouldnt understand. Now my Mum have dementia and its so hard because I cant really say how I feel now, so of what I feel like being on my own and going out, Mum now understands because she feel that way too, but at the end of the day I have lost my best friend and my mum, so try and put it simple to your mum and tell her its a illness and you are not making it up, I wish you luck and hope councelling will bring some help to your issues, I had councelling for over a year and then she moved away so now waiting for some more councelling, but the waiting list is long, just got to wait my turn.
Massive well done on starting counselling, it is so scary, you're incredibly brave
I'm on 120mg of Propanolol for my anxiety and though it doesn't make the scary thoughts go away it definitely makes a big difference with the physical side of things, you generally feel calmer as there is less adrenaline coarsing around your body!
I don't know what type of meds they'd put you on but, if it's similar to Propanolol there is no need to worry - I didn't get any side effects other than fatigue but I'm always tired anyway!
Sorry to hear about your mum, mine is similar in that she doesn't believe I could ever feel depressed or anxious, though I haven't actually explained what my situation is with my mum. When I told her I had anxiety she laughed in my face and said, "No you don't!'
Some people just aren't supportive but everyone here is at least!
Actually, it may be the best thing setting a time limit.
I dither a lot weighing options, coming up with solution number 34762
It took me ages (2 years) to decide how to build a table for model railway for heavens sakes.
If someone had come along after 2 months and gone "RIGHT YOU HAVE UNTILL THE END OF THE WEEK OR YOU DON'T BUILD AT ALL!!" I would have made a *descision* and got on with building it.
Dithering for me ends up being an added burden as I never complete anything, just have all these 100 odd post-it notes. This time I did decide and I'm happy I did. I can actually show photos of progress instead of scraps of paper drawings.
Sometimes I wish I had a mentor - someone who could visit and encourage something.
How did you feel about being given the time limit John?
I had the same sort of upbringing - "Why don't you behave normally?!?"
When I was young Mum used to talk to relatives overseas then as I was walking past grab me physically, and say on the phone "Hey its Auntie Freda, say Hi"
I'd sputter something which was immediatly put down by mum as *sigh* "well that was a stupid comment wasnt' it? why can't you say something intelligent or nice for once?"
I got so anxious I couldn't make a phone call.
Answering the phone was nerve-wracking as well.
So you can imagine what computer helpdesk jobs were like for me which had both, *and* had angry people on the phone.
HOWEVER I've got better with practice, and Your mum has the right idea - lots of practice makes it easier - shes just practicing the worst aspects of socialising, not the best!!