Starting on the pills

Treatment and medication
1

I have been moderately depressed for a few years now, and in the past year it has started to occasionally dip into periods of severe depression. I have been slipping, drifting out of reality at times, la vie dans l’autre côté.

In the past 6 months, I have went down to shaving and showering once a week, brushing my teeth maybe every other day, staying awake at night until I pass out from exhaustion, sleeping 4-6 hours a day/night, etc. Sometimes I clean my fingernails. My house is filthy and I don't feel like cleaning it. Sometimes I go to work, sometimes I don't - nobody notices. I often wear the same clothes for a week, only using new socks and underwear each day - although I have two closets full of new and fancy business attire.

I used to cook gourmet food, now I just eat microwave cheeseburgers. I used to be the biggest music fan on the planet, but I haven't listed to my CDs for years now. I used to like to drink beer and wine, now I buy some and forget to drink them (or forget that I even have them).

I have never thought about suicide, but still I just don't care too much about anything any more. I haven't been excited about anything in a very long time.

Well, I was scared to go to the doctor about depression as I thought it would ruin my career. I finally went last week, because I just don't care any more. Damn the career, my mind and my life are already ruined. I just want to feel better.

And to top it all off, nobody cares. Nobody wants to help me, or even listen. Well, the doctors listen and try to help, of course, but that's very impersonal. I haven't received any personal affection or attention from anyone in a long time. I could start a new relationship, but why would I want to burden someone new with my problems? What could I possibly offer them in return for helping me to deal with my problems?

So I started on the pills a week ago. So far they are causing me to grind my teeth sometimes and I had a hard time falling asleep last night (but that's nothing new). My mood does seem to be a bit improved already, though.

2

well done for getting some help, i really hope the tabs work for you. you probably will feel really lousey till they start working, or mabey not, but anaway it sounds like you couldnt feel any worse so your as well to give the tabs a good chance. as for feeling that nobody cares, thats depression talking, we all tend to shut off from others when were depressed, then we feel lonley, its a vicious circle and i hope through time you`ll get your self esteem back and feel good about yourself then you`ll remember what it is about your true personality that people want to get to know good luck, please let us know how your doing x

3

Hi there JustAnUrchin

Well first off..............

Congratulations and a very well done for going to your GP and of course, more importantly, well done for finding the strength, energy and motivation to search your tablets or/and illness and finding Patient UK.

You are no way alone in your feelings, many (including myself) suffer and feel as you do on a daily or weekly basis. some are lucky enough (if you can call it lucky) to go a month or 2 in between feeling so crap.

Do please try and keep posting here of your feelings as doing so can help. It has helped many, many others and it can help you too.

I will be completely honest here and say when I first found this place I felt all it had to offer was a place for people to feed their illness. After a week or 2 I soon realised this is not the case and by posting of your feelings here can and does help.

I wish you lots of luck and I do hope Citalopram works for you. If it doesn't PLEASE don't feel like you have failed or are beyond help. There are many other anti depressants your doctor casn prescribe. Sadly it is a bit of a hit and miss fisning one that will work for you/me/everyone.

As humans we all react differently to drugs, o what might work for one person is not necessarily going to work for everyone.

Keep wour doctor informed of your progress (or lack of) he/she can only offer you their very best if you are true and open to them.

Take care

Melbi x

4

Hey!

i hope yur finding this site as helpfull as i am.

Well done on going to your doctors about your depression, ive known people who completely ignore it and just continue to get worse, but well done, i know its hard honestly i do.

Yeah about that teeth grinding business im doing that aswell along with clamping my jaw completely shut whem im asleep. Its starting to wear off and ive been on the tablets again for nearly 2 weeks.

Keep Telling us about your experiances ok.

Take Care

xxxxxx

5

Thanks for all of the responses.

I applied for an account a few days ago, still no approval email. But I couldn't use the same handle when posting now as it told me that the username was taken.

I guess none of you are repulsed by my repulsiveness, which wasn't the goal, I was just being honest about my current state of affairs and how depression has affected me. I realized today that I have acquired so many bad habits now that nobody will want to be around me, so I need to straighten up quite a lot if I ever want to have a friend or sex again. Hell, I am repulsed by myself now. I can't even stand to be around me.

OK the pills are really keeping me awake at night now. I have been taking my dose in the evening, but I think I will switch it to morning now and see if that helps. Funny thing, before when I had insomnia, I would wake up in the morning and be exhausted, but not now. I wake up and don't feel exhausted, even though I wake up at 2am and don't fall back asleep til 3.30 or 4am. Strange. But one thing, I have been willing and able to go to bed at a normal hour. That hasn't happened in a few years now.

I think it's still too soon to see if they are helping my mind. I had several good days in a row, but today was horrible. Well, at least my sinuses are cleaned out now.

Another thing, are these pills supposed to cause ringing in the ears? Because last night, when I woke up, it was really loud and lasted for more than an hour. I got a doctor appointment in a week, so I could mention it then.

I'll be back. Take it easy.

6

same thing happened to me with the username thingie was under (rudi1). anaway im glad you had a couple of good days at least, its good to cry too though, healing tears!x you could try taking the tabs in the morning, i found i couldnt sleep at nite after taking it, as for the ringing in the ears i had that with prozac, i seemed to be very sensitive to noise on the telly. i hope you have more better days, remember your not alone x