[background info] - (can skip to problem if you like)
Hi, I'm 15 yrs/o and have been constantly constipated since I was (maybe 10/11 yrs/o). I have up to 2 BMs per week. It took me until this year to finally realize I need to eat healthier, however I realized this a tad too late and now it's like no matter what I do I can't get normal BMs again and it does get me really down. I've only gone to the doc twice and that was back when I was 12ish. I find it EXTREMELY difficult to tell my mom, (emphasis on EXTREMELY). My mom has seriously no patience and is usually busy and forgets about things i tell her and I'd much rather avoid telling her about the constipation(also very embarrassing). I'm super reluctant to ask for help until it gets really bad. Which is, very bad and I'm super aware of it. This is really stressing me out.
Extra info: I don't hold in my poop anymore (I did when i was younger due to extreme anxiety with using public/school bathrooms and sometimes even at home) but now I can't help but 'hold it in' as i get barely any urge to go(hence i can only go up to 2 times a week). I typically get the urge twice or less per week where I'd have a bowel movement. I also always have to strain whiile going (maybe not with almost liquidy stools) it's not full on straining but im definately pushing a fair bit to get it out.
[actual problem]
Stool is wayyy too large to pass (i managed to squeeze a small bit out, however i didn't strain too much because im terrified of anal prolapse). I feel very backed up. Wondering if there's anything i can do now? What would a doctor say/give me?? And about my problem with not getting an urge- will they want me to get a colonoscopy??(do not want under any circumstances)
Was also wondering if the stool will still be hard to pass and if I'll still have to strain if i use an enema?( not that i even have one ( ). How do enemas feel? Please describe in detail?
Sorry for all the questions and messy explanation, this is just stressing me out and idk i get real emotional and depressed due to it. Regardless, thank you for reading and i hope i can get some help!