Hello.
I know there are topics about this but I think my case is kinda specific.
I passively smoked my entire childhood because of my father.
when my father left, I got upset and all that and I started smoking, with just 14 years old.
in a couple of months I was smoking nearly a pack every 2 days...
When I changed school, to a less problematic one, I stopped, smoked occasionally, like once every 2 months... I remember there was a period I stopped for like 2 years... Got into a course and it took so much time from me during 3 years that I didn't even had time to think...
When I joined the army, I started smoking more actively. At the start I didn't smoked, THAN I went back to smoking occasionally and I am currently smoking more actively. Last 2 months I smoked, a pack lasts 2 days...
But now I notice the addiction. The truth is, majority of the cigarettes I smoke are because I need to be constantly doing something, if I sit down and do nothing, feels like torture for me, I need to be doing something at all times... The only thing I can do sat down is basically be on the computer or watch TV. But even on those things, I am doing something, but sit down on stairs outside and look at birds or something, is torture...
So I smoke not because I need it or have addiction, but because I need to be doing something. So now I am searching for help, this weekend was the the first time I felt addiction, and I want to stop but if I don't smoke to entertain myself, I will have to entertain myself with something like else....
what do you think about all this?
thanks.