BUT YOU DON'T HAVE CONTROL OVER AUD - IT CONTROLS YOU!
This is naive and infantile thinking.
BTW, RH, Jim is still totally sober.
I'm going to try...and alcoholics are exactly as "sabrina" says...making all kinds of deals with the universe.
My thing is..if this person wants to try this sobriety for one month....I am in a position right now to support that goal...and enjoy supporting people and in this case...me committing to staying sober for Sept with this person may help us both.
I have offered the private messaging approach if no one else joins this ride .
Strangely, thou the original poster has not PM'd me...and I plan on staying sober anyway...so it really doesn't phase me either way.
i'm shaking my head.
When I read the original post from sados...what I see is someone who is trying to belong to a community....someone trying to make a commitment...someone suffering from alcohol abuse to the point of losing her family and children.
I really don't understand all the push back.....if this person is addicted to alcohol to the point of losing everything and is trying something different to get better..why post negativity...why not just let it go?
I didn't see anywhere in this persons original post that said she was only going to stop for Sept...but what I read is that this person is starting a commitment for themselves...and was looking for support and a "buddy" or two to join her in her commitment.
I wouldn't even come back to this site if I were her...
Misssy, with the best will in the world, she is deluding herself.
How will she feel if she doesn't succeed?
Have you read RHGB's very detailed and (I think) extremely sensible reply?
I for one wouldn't ask anyone with AUD to 'try to give it up for a month.'
That isn't how AUD works, Misssy. You of all people know that. Sorry, i didn't mean ONLY you knew that...........
I'm with RHGB on this one, Misssy. The whole thing is simplistic and extremely naive in my view.
Look, Jim has stopped drinking. But if I said to him How Long Will You Remain Sober I know perfectly well what his answer would be.
He simply wouldn't know, would he?
And that's because he has AUD.
Love anyway to you.
Tess xxxxx
ok, here we are debating on a post where someone was trying something different to curb their alcohol consumption.
My feeling is..if I don't agree with a topic (for example: I did not post on the Sinclair method post that was posted this a.m.) because I have nothing either positive to say or I have no knowledge of the method.
My feeling is...if anyone felt like they could help this poster...than they should post...arguing, questioning a persons will to stop or their method for stopping is not helpful.....and possibly should be done in a PM.
What will everyone learn from the debates going on here?
That's the point, Misssy.
This is a forum where people exchange ideas. If people disagree, they can post and say why they disagree.
I can't agree with something that I don't agree with!
So I have a right, as has everybody, to comment on this post.
True!
Ha!
One Day at a Time
Tess & Missy...while I think it's okay to have your own opinions, and your own strength and experience...I fail to see the benefit of the back and forth bickering to the struggling alcoholic who is hanging on by their fingernails. (If that's what being sober looks like...no thanks. Right?)
A start towards sobriety is a start. And I agree, for me the problem wasn't so much stopping...it was STAYING stopped.
So, whether it's one day at a time...or one month at a time...who am I to say what might work for someone. God has a path and a purpose for all of us.
I am paying a big price for my alcoholism and I now have cirrhosis. But, rather than giving up...I think there is something God (or my higher power) wants me to do. So a new chapter has begun for me, and I have never felt so certain that I am going to be okay. It's freeing...
Anyway, I admire you both for your strength and passion for sobriety, and the willingness and desire to reach out to help a fellow alcoholic.
Have a wonderful, sober holiday weekend! Sabrina
Missy, we are all entitled to comment on any post we like, especially if we have lengthy experience of what drinking does to you and what are the consequences of ignoring it.
I felt that I made a very relevant comment, that people with alcohol problems cannot just give up for a month on a whim and if they could, then perhaps they didn't really have an issue with alcohol per se.
As for answering threads, with messages that aren't really helpful. I remember starting a thread when I got my hospital records, where I had read them, explained had happened to me and said that I had had no previous warnings and that people might want to take that into account.
I also asked that no one hijack the thread, that it was a very serious thread and I was trying to warn people about what could happen.And that if they wanted to talk about their own issues, then please start another thread. You came on, started posting about how you had relapsed that day (or similar) and took the thread off at a tangent with a few other posters. It wasn't the only time either. So perhaps you need to have a think about learning, that you are quite happy to overturn threads yourself.
You are arguing about arguing and trying to act as referee, everyone is free to post their opinion, which is something you are going to have to get used to.
Oh. I thought it was one month at a time.
Eh? Misssy and I are pals.
We don't bicker. We don't always agree with one another but we don't bicker.
I love this from the BB...
What is a BB?
Oh, mine will be sober as I have never been a drinker. Tried it a few times and it tasted so horrible I never drank again. (That was forty years ago.)
The Big Book of AA
Sorry. You've lost me.
I thought the Big Book of AA suggested One Day At A Time.
I wrote "Oh. I thought it was one month at a time." since the whole point of this discussion is giving up alcohol for a month. And then another month. And then another month....................until you're all CURED!
It was a JOKE, Sabrina.
Gosh, that's a wonderful response! I was deeply moved by it
Albeit I don't drink myself I did have a friend who was an alcoholic and can appreciate that getting through it hour by hour, a day at a time, is a heartbreaking struggle...let alone a month!
I would imagine asking someone to abstain for a whole month would be a special kind of hell for them, a torture even. It would add a sense of failure to them when they are struggling day to day, to contemplate a whole month! Defeated before they even begin by a feeling of helplessness.
There is a great deal of ignorance where alcoholism is concerned. Many view it as a weakness on the part of the abuser. As if they could magically stop if they wished/tried hard enough. It's shameful that they do not recognize it for the illness it is
Your post is a credit to you
And a boost to the moral of those who are in dire need of it
Helen